Published November 23, 2011
My poem isn’t a song—
it isn’t supposed to rhyme.
And it isn’t supposed to be read aloud.
It isn’t supposed to be pure, heartfelt,
or even particularly beautiful.
It isn’t supposed to be a dream—
it’s supposed to be thoughts,
scraped from inside my head,
and thrown onto paper,
into a Jackson Pollock painting
of words.
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,516 Reviews
Hi L----I mean, STICHES
So....this is totally awesome. Totally reflects your personality, I can totally hear you reading it aloud. Actually, this isn't really much of a review as I have very little negative to say. If I absolutely must give a nitpick it would be that your interchanging use of dashes and commas is a little odd--sort of disrupts the flow, if you know what I mean. (get it?)
But really, I don't think it's a problem if that was intentional, and I like this a lot. So I guess I'll swoop off to see if I have anything more productive to say about your other stuff.
Nice!
Sarebear
I really enjoyed reading this. It was beautiful in its simplicity and matter-of-factness, it was this short little nugget that encapsulates so much of what poetry is. I can't find a single flaw, and if I could I would not hesitate to point it out. It seems to scream "Here I am, this is my thoughts on paper and forget the rest." I am a real fan.
Thers
Good splatter poetry! We just did some of that in art, as a matter of fact...anyways, I really liked it.
Although it annoys me to say anything about it, since it is after all splatter poetry, I have to say it was not as pleasant to read as it could have been. Even splattered words are still writing, even splattered poetry does not have to be beautiful but if no one wants to read it then why tell us to read it? The word supposed was repeated much too much, I feel, and although I like poems that don't rhyme I don't like it when there is not some sort of rhythm or fluency involved. After a little while it even sounded a teeny weeny bit robotic, until you got to the last couple of lines and fixed it.
I actually loved the way this finishes, it left me feeling a lot better about the poem than before. Although, I don't like the use of names here, I think it would have sounded a better as "into a splatter painting" or something like that rather than using the name Jackson Pollock.
Overall, great job and keep writing!
Stitches!
Well, like the title says, it's definitely splattered poetry! And a good splatter at that too! I love just throwing something in there and then expressing it. Makes me feel relieved. An amusing read! And keep the ink flowing
Murtuza