From out of ugliness such light,
you've seen the truth behind the lies,
in the darkness there's a heart,
a heart that cares more than you'll ever know.
So let all shun me if they must,
let them flee from this place.
Once there was a night,
beneath a moonless sky,
too dark to see a thing,
too dark to even try.
In that darkness I fled,
fled away to Coney Island,
so she'd never need to be afraid of me again.
That was my mistake,
I still love her and miss her every day,
and since we have a son...
my son...
I'll take what little I deserve,
for he see's through to the beauty underneath.
But I have a question for you,
can you see it too?
Even if dimoands never sparkle bright,
if they aren't set just right,
beauty sometimes goes unseen,
we can't all be like Christine.
So tell me,
can you see the beauty underneath?
If so...
you may even be more stranger than me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
a poem written by me, in the view of the Phantom, on September 29, 2012
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I love the Phantom, so I love this poem too
I bet it would sound great in opera ^^
There are a few grammatical errors, but the reviewers below already addressed them.
You manage to convey the speaker's feelings in this poem quite well. I can tell he longs to be seen as a normal human being and loved. He misses Christine, but he cares enough about her to leave. This is sad, but there is an aspect of hope about it.
You should write more pieces about the Phantom
That was an interesting poem. There were some things that shocked me which is always good in a poem, which was the line when he mentioned his son. There are some things you might want to correct though such as:
'dimoands' did you mean 'diamonds'?
and "you may even be more stranger that me" that line makes no sense (sorry no sugar coating in this review ha.) it would be better put like this:
"you may be even stranger than me."
Just a couple things you may want to change, and your punctuations also look good so great job! keep writing!
Hello there, my name is Kyla Thompson. You probably haven't seen me around, I was gone for quite some time. I have a question for you. First off, do you understand your poem? I'm going to start asking that in my reviews because I have found that very important. Someone said, well I wrote it I guess, but she didn't even know what it meant! I really enjoy this poem and I saw a few things that I would correct (just if it were me that) I would like to help you on. Now, if I am incorrect, please correct me for no one is perfect. First thing I saw, I felt like there should be a semicolon. Where it says: That was my mistake,I still love her and miss her every day. I just felt like it looks better (like I said correct me if I am wrong) as: That was my mistake; I still lover her and miss her every day . . . My other mistake that you spelled diamonds wrong. I hope you took this as helpful, and I would love to hear from you again soon.