Young Writers Society

Hey!!! It's time for a review!
OMG!!! This is a really good poem. You hooked me right way with your poem and immediately I wanted to read more. Your language is really good and I dont know what it is about your poem but it is really good. This poem really hooks into emotions and I can really understand where this is coming from. I am going to share this poem to other people ! You are really talented and I am in love with this poem. My favorite part of your poem is "Don't loose the moon by counting the stars, The moon was made exclusively for you." This part of the poem touched me the most in a way that is hard to explain. Your poem flows so well and i am in awe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for sharing this poem to the world! I can't wait to see what all else you write!!!!

Hello there, Stegosaurus!
I really loved this poem, especially the meaning behind it. It was very 'cutsie' but also had a lot of truth behind it, and the way you conveyed that was very well done!
Practically anything I find wrong is usually me being rather nit-picky, and if you think the sentence sounds fine, then feel free to make no changes. However, as a reviewer, my job is to make your writing better, so I hope that I can at least make an impact on your writing!

"You could look at other people and wish you had their lives,
Be jealous almost every single day."- Honestly, what I see wrong in this is mostly just your style of writing poetry, and that's fine. I feel like "be jealous" sounds very awkward and could be rephrased to sound something along the lines of "and be jealous."

"You change yourself to be king,
It never ever happens in that way."-The way this stanza is written gives off a rather uneasy vibe. I get what you were going for, but at the same time, the wording choice itself isn't very clear and direct in your meaning. Something like 'You change yourself to fit the role of a king, yet it doesn't work that way' is read more fluently and keeps the flow going.

I hope I didn't come off rude! This poem was really gorgeous and has a very positive meaning to those around you. Don't stop writing and keep up the good work!
~Prez. T

So, CUTE. I luv it.

Hi!
I really enjoyed reading your poem. It has a very deep meaning which I think got across well due to the rhyming and repetition of "don't loose the moon by counting the stars, the moon was made exclusively for you". It is very true as well. Its something we all struggle with. We are always jealous and the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I think a lot of people can relate to this poem. I really liked it! And your writing style is great!
Tick tock

Hey Virgilius here for a review. I AM IN NO WAY A PROFESSIONAL IN THE FIELD OF POETRY SO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISREGARD ALL I SAY... but please don't.

I liked it. It was clean straightforward and very honest. I love your writing style and I will definitely read your work again.

I do feel a need to see this in quartets instead of duple but that's merely an opinion and I sure you can tell me why I am wrong. I simply feel it would have added to the rhyme pattern.

Again I liked it please don't stop writing and feel proud of what you created.

Hi there Steggy!! RagingLive here to review your poem today, love!

First of all, I found this poem extremely sweet and very moving in an inspirational sense. one of my favorite lines:

Don't lose the moon by counting the stars,

I think it's just a thing you shouldn't do

The grass seems always greener on the other side of town

The other side of town used the same seed.

At least you have the things you really need.

Get jealous almost every single day.

Really great poem! The theme was very clear and the rhythm and structure was great. You didn't add any more to it than what it needed. It is a very solid work!