Autumn Leaves- Chapter 2

I have had a crush on Sebastien Moffat almost as long as Chloe has been my enemy. When I was popular, I barely noticed him. Socially, a quiet and bookish guy was far below me. Yes, my arrogance knew no bounds. But now, it's kind of ironic how he's socially higher, and far above the likes of me.

Now, as he walks into the Sitting Room, mumbling an apology to Julie, butterflies start up in my stomach. His dark hair flops over his face, almost concealing his perfect nose. I know it's a strange feature to be attracted to, but his nose is just. . . perfect. It's angled and straight and the exact right size for his face. He has high cheekbones, although they aren't very defined. He's slender and moves almost apologetically, as if ashamed to be taking up space.

I want to be with him; help him; kiss him. I want to be his, and him to be mine. I want him to walk with confidence, and I want to help him get there.

While I daydream, Sebastien has taken a seat and Julie has resumed talking. I snap out of it and try to pay attention. She talks about the buildings. This one is called the Dorms, apparently, and it's where the dorms are. Yeah, Julie explained that to us. Captain Obvious to the rescue!

The other two are the Mess Hall and the Workshops. The Mess Hall is where we eat, and the Workshops are where some of the activities take place. Julie also tells us about the lake, the woods, the green area I noticed earlier, and the swimming pool.

At the mention of a swimming pool, Tana sits up and grins at me, "I love swimming,"

I don't. I mean, I can swim, and I kind of like it if there aren't many people in the pool. It's just when there are lots of people there, or people I know and it feels awkward.

Julie talks about activities. There's going to be one almost everyday (oh, joy) and each will be taken by a "camp leader". I assume that the camp leaders are the other adults sitting at the front because they stand up. Julie introduces them, and I make fun of them in my head.

I think I need to make something perfectly clear. I do not want to be at this camp. I do not want to share a dorm with the two girls who make my day-to-day life a misery. And I especially do not want to do stupid activities with these stupid camp leaders.

The nice part of me, the new part of me says, don't call them stupid. They're probably really cool. I take a deep breath and believe that thought. The old Autumn would probably walk out, or insult them in subtle ways. The new Autumn will keep her head down and try to be nicer to everyone.

Julie drones on about team spirit and friendship for another hour, by which time my stomach is growling so intensely you could mistake it for a grizzly bear. Tana and I frequently roll our eyes at one another and a balloon of hope swirls inside my chest. Maybe, just maybe, Tanushri could be my friend.

God that sounds desperate.

When Julie announces it will be another hour until dinner; I feel like crying. I wonder what the food'll be like. It'd better be good. I am not staying in a summer camp where the food sucks. I'm not one of those girls who go around claiming that food is their life while not eating anything. I'm one of those girls who claims food is her life while stuffing her face. Not to say I'm fat. I'm not skinny, and on bad days I look kind of pudgy. But truthfully, I think I just have curves.

Tana practically drags me out of the Sitting Room. Her eyes bright, she turns to look at me, "C'mon Autumn! Let's go and meet people."

I begin to protest. Meeting people isn't my forte. Tana ignores me and propels me over to two girls standing beside the cat-vomit sofa. I know them vaguely from school, but they've never been in my class. Or my social group. They're called Jasmine and Margo; I'm pretty sure they're best friends.

Tana beams, "Hey, I'm Tanushri. Do you know Autumn?"

Jasmine smiles back, a little guardedly. Her blonde hair falls in curls over her shoulders, "Know of her." She turns to me, "Hey Autumn. I know we've never talked, but you seem nice."

Margo flicks her straight light brown hair out of her face and regards me with a cool stare, "Why aren't you Miss Popular anymore?"

I open my mouth, and then shut it. What can I say to that? I want to look at Tana, to see how she's reacted to this. "Umm. . ." I stutter, "I kind of realised how fake the whole thing was, and how horrible I was becoming. So I abandoned Chloe. Kind of let her down actually and now she has this vendetta against me."

Margo gives me a funny kind of half-smile, "Good for you."

"She means that we admire you for stepping down," adds Jasmine, grinning at me and revealing bright pink braces.

I smile back, but I feel rotten inside. Oh sure, I realised how obnoxious I was, and how the whole thing was flimsy and everything. But that isn't all of it, and I don't deserve their admiration.

Tana links her arm through mine, and I know she doesn't care about me being ex-popular. The four of us head out onto the grass outside and sit down. It's cloudy, but dry and we sit on the grass. We talk for a while. Well, Tana and Jasmine talk, while Margo and I interject things at occasional points.

Despite her icy manner, I like Margo. She seems so genuine and unashamed, and I feel almost victorious about earning that small half-smile. Jasmine and Tana get on well, and Margo occasionally rolls her eyes at me when they go too far. I send her a wry smile in return, pleased to have found someone with my sense of conversation.

A bell rings across the yard, and I look around in surprise. One of the camp leaders, a gangly red-haired man, is ringing it and shouting, "Dinner time! Come to the Mess Hall if you want food!"

I leap up and this time I'm dragging Tana as we rush to the Mess Hall. If I was hungry an hour ago, now I'm starving. Tana shakes her head at me as we take our places in the queue. I help myself to a large portion of lasagne and salad. A tray of muffins sits at the other end of the counter, and I grab one of those as well.

There are four long tables in the hall, all with bench seats along them. Tana and I sit together, Jasmine and Margo opposite. I see Sebastien two tables away from us, sat with his friends. He's laughing, and as I watch, he mock-punches his best friend Zach on the arm.

I'm not the only one watching Sebastien. Chloe and Kaylee, sat a few seats down from us, are staring too. Chloe whispers something to Kaylee and they giggle. I feel an unexpected bubble of anger well up inside me. They had better not be laughing at Sebastien.

I force myself to tear my eyes away and concentrate on what Tana is saying, "My Dad's in India at the moment, seeing family. He's been saving up to go for ages. It's kind of horrible how expensive it is for him to go over."

I nod, "Why can't they just hurry up and invent teleports? That would be awesome."

Jasmine grins, "Totally,"

The food is thankfully good, and I finish my lasagne with relish. The muffin is amazing, even when I learn that Julie baked it herself.

After dinner, Julie sends us up to our dorms for "an early night". Ha. Like that's going to happen in a camp full of teenagers. Tana and I get changed for bed in the toilets, as Chloe and Kaylee claimed the bedroom. We go back in somewhat hesitantly, but luckily both girls are fully-dressed.

They're sitting cross-legged on Kaylee's bed and Chloe is talking in a dreamy voice, "He's sooooo hot. And you know how nerds are totally cool at the moment. I could just kiss Sebastien. . ." Chloe trails off when she sees me and Tana, standing awkwardly in the doorway. She snaps, "How long have you been standing there, eavesdropping."

I have an almost overpowering urge to reply back, 'I haven't been dropping no eaves!' But I don't, because I have a feeling that channeling my inner Samwise won't help. Tana swishes her hair over her shoulder and says cooly, "Why would we eavesdrop on you?"

She sweeps onto her bed, and I follow, keeping my eyes firmly on the patterned carpet. Tana lounges back on the bed, seemingly oblivious to the death glare Chloe is giving her. After a moment, Chloe snorts and turns back to Kaylee, remarking, "Who cares what those two dorks hear anyway."

Tana sits up and grins at me, "See?"

I give her a confused look, "See what?"

"Girls aren't that bad if you ignore them."

I smile half-heartedly. I wish it were as simple for me as it is for Tana.

Chloe and Kaylee resume their loud conversation. I seethe inside. How dare Chloe like Sebastien. Does she seriously have to take everything I love?

My only comforting thought is that Sebastien is smart enough to see through Chloe. Hopefully.

Tana and I talk for a while, but I feel awkward with Chloe and Kaylee so near. After a while, Tana takes out her book, and I cautiously bring out my sketchbook. I flick through aimlessly, adding in a few lines here or some tone there. I end up at a drawing of Rose Tyler, from Doctor Who. I didn't finish it, and her face is still very sketchy. I let out a small relaxed sigh, and put my pencil to the paper.

When I've finished, Tana has already said goodnight and fallen asleep. Chloe and Kaylee are still talking sleepily from under their covers, and I remember a time when it was me, not Kaylee. We would be at Chloe's enormous house and we'd sometimes even share a bed. Her babysitter would come through and tell us it was time to go to bed. Dutifully, we'd get under the duvet, and then we'd continue talking until early in the morning.

I shove the memory away, and hide my sketchbook again. I turn off the light, and go to sleep.

The next day Julie announces that our first activity will be canoeing on the lake. Joy. I yawn my way through a plate of toast and follow Tana, Jasmine and Margo out to the lake. The gangly, red-haired man who rang the dinner bell yesterday stands on a jetty, a pile of life jackets by his feet. He waves his arms for silence, then speaks, "Hey. I'm Paul, and I'll do a lot of the physical activities with you. Today we're doing canoeing. Life-jackets are mandatory, so no complaining."

He proceeds to hand them out, and I pull mine on. It smells wet and rubbery. Tana rolls her eyes at me as Chloe makes a fuss. Of course.

Paul leads us around to a hut-like structure where canoes are piled. He gives us a brief talk on safety, then demands we get into pairs. I go with Tana and together, we heft a canoe onto our shoulders. Lord, I am not looking forward to this. Canoeing isn't really something I've ever wanted to do. Hey, let's all sit on a tiny, easily upturned rubber boat! Yay that sounds like fun- not.

We collect paddles, and Paul demonstrates how the one person simply paddles one way, and the other person steers by changing sides. The trees around the lakeside wave in the wind, making a rustling sound while the waves gently whisper against the sand.

Tana gets into the canoe first. Nervously, I too step off the jetty, making the canoe rock slightly under my weight. I swear under my breath and settle down into the plastic seat. Jasmine hands me my paddle and salutes. I mock-salute back, and we paddle away.

Paul is in the leading boat, a chubby boy I don't know sat behind him. He leads us out into the lake, shouting instructions back to us. Half of his words are sucked away by the wind, so all Tana and I can do is paddle doggedly on. It's hard work, and after a while my arms start to ache. Tana turns around occasionally to exchange pained looks, but mostly we just get on with it.

The wind is gentle, but it still makes my eyes stream. The spray from my paddle sends droplets of water spewing over me, and I blink rapidly to dispel one that lands in my eye.

The surrounding scenery is beautiful. Behind us, the camp's buildings look kind of majestic and old, surrounded by grass and trees. Hills rise up on either side of the lake, their reflections rippling gently on its surface. Across the water, a village sits nestled between two mounds, a copse of trees almost hiding it from view. The wind drops a little, and I risk taking one hand off the paddle to wipe my eyes. The sun comes out from behind a cloud, and warms my back. Its light sends diamonds sprinting over the water, shining delicately.

Paul leads the procession of canoes to a small beach, where he lands. We all follow, and are soon stretching our legs by the shore. Tana and I climb on top of some smooth rocks and sit, gazing out at the lake. I watch Sebastien and Zach get out of a canoe, laughing together. Sebastien looks over, and catches me staring. He waves, and starts heading towards us.

Butterflies start dancing in my stomach again, and my mouth goes dry. What if he's mad at me for staring at him like a total creep?

Sebastien climbs up beside me, and I move over to give him room. He says, "Beautiful place."

My heart thuds away in my chest. His arm brushes mine, and shivers run all over my body. All I can do is nod and whisper, "Yeah. It is."

Zach has struck up a conversation with Tana, and as I watch them, I try to have Tana's confidence. "So," I say, "Do you like canoeing?"

I wish I could tell myself to shut up. That was such a bad question. Sebastien doesn't seem to mind. He shrugs, "It's alright I guess. Kind of cold."

"Yeah."

I can't think of anything else to say. My whole body tingles with being so close to him. I study his face, subtly in glances and smiles. I have an urge to stroke his cheek, but I know that it would be weird. I kick my legs over the side of the rock, and imagine what it would be like to be with him.

Amazing wouldn't be a good enough word.

We sit in a silence that is somewhere between awkward and companiable, and I'm kind of glad when Paul calls us back to the canoes. The whole journey back, I replay the conversation back in my head. How am I so bad at talking?

We put the canoes away and start heading back up to the Mess Hall for a late lunch. Chloe taps me on the shoulder and says, "Can I talk to you Autumn?"

Her voice is cold and steely. I glance at Tana and say, "You go on."

She tilts her head in question and I nod. My heart is thudding for an entirely different reason as she walks away to join Jasmine and Margo.

Chloe grabs my arm and leads me around the back of the hut. Her fingernails dig in through the light material of my shirt. I swallow and try to wrench my arm away. Her hands go to my shoulders and she slams my back against the wall, snarling, "What were you doing with Sebastien?"

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Hey :) This is the second chapter so, enjoy! Reviews will be very much appreciated ;)

Willow x