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“Veronika!”
Veronika’s mind was snapped back to the present by the whiplash of her mother’s voice. Her back stiffened automatically into the perfect posture and she smoothly dropped her pencil to the floor. Then she calmly folded her hands on the table before looking up at her mother.
Her face was the picture of disapproval, with lips pursed to half their size in her Polite Society frown, accompanied by angry lines that showed through her make-up. Her eyes, usually wide, had shrunk to annoyed slits and seemed to glare down at her from a height, the way they always did when Veronika had once again Gone Too Far.
“Yes, Mother?” she asked softly, trying not to draw too much attention, but a quick glance told her it was too late. The eyes of the other ladies sitting at the table skittered away as she looked at them, but Veronika knew it was only so that they could better overhear whatever came next.
But Mother was smarter than that. Veronika saw her eyes flicker to their faces and then back again, and instantly the angry lines on her face smoothed out and disappeared.
“Veronika,” she whispered, her voice so low that only the two of them could hear it, “what is that under the table?”
Veronika swallowed and hesitated. “It’s… it’s nothing, Mama,” she said, but she knew it was a mistake as soon as the words left her lips. She gave an innocent smile and leaned forward slightly to hide the parcel that was on her lap. Her movement made it shift, and Veronika felt it started to slide towards the floor. She jolted back and scrabbled for the parcel, grabbing it just before it left her knees. Some of the papers flew out noisily and floated out from beneath the table, blank-side up, Veronika noticed with relief.
Mother arched an eyebrow, a sign as clear to Veronika of trouble approaching as storm clouds on the horizon.
“That’s a rather noisy nothing,” Mother commented loudly enough for the other ladies- who were but weren’t listening- to titter over before sheltering their tiny mouths politely behind fans. Veronika felt blood rush to her cheeks and she looked down at the parcel still clutched in her hands. Mother reached over to her and placed her hands gently on Veronika’s. She looked up in surprise at the gesture, and at that moment, Mother grabbed the parcel and snatched it away, leaving Veronika gasping in surprise.
The ladies tittered again, but Mother ignored them and opened the parcel. Veronika felt her heart drop to the floor as her sketchbook was revealed, its plain brown paper cover looking shabby next to Mother’s red satin evening dress.
Mother raised her eyebrows and turned to face her. “What is this?” she asked, looking surprised.
Veronika looked nervously towards the other ladies, who were now not even hiding their amused eyes. “It’s… it’s my… my paper book- I don’t know the word in English,” she finished in Farwe, their native language. A disapproving murmur rose from around the table at this, and Veronika felt all her English words evaporating like water droplets in the sun. She cowered in her chair as all the ladies turned appalled gazes on her. How many times had they told her that it was impolite here to speak in any language besides English?
Mother said nothing, but instead opened the book. Veronika sucked in her breath and looked away. Suddenly, the sounds from the rest of the hotel dining room seemed to fade into the distance, and the only sounds were those of Mother’s hands fingering paper. Any second now, she’d see her drawing of Lady Thayer, the American ambassador’s wife with the large red nose; or Baroness Katrine, the Swedish ambassador’s wife who always guffawed at others’ jokes, or Lady Helene, the refined wife of the Cypriot ambassador, who always drank too much whiskey… She didn’t know why she’d drawn them all that way, accenting their strangest featuring, or why she’d even thought no one would notice it there at the table… and now they were all going to see them, and then-
“Hmmph,” Mother said, sounding disappointed. Slowly, Veronika turned her head back and opened one eye. Then she opened the other and stared at her book, open-mouthed.
The pages were empty. Her drawings were gone. Veronika looked up at Mother, who was frowning as she flipped through the pages of the book. “Hmmph,” she said again.
“Well, Lady Zola Ntombi? What is it? I’m afraid I don’t understand your daughter’s English,” one of the ladies said in polite tones, causing the rest of the ladies to raise their fans again to hide their mouths. It was Lady Borzziolo, Veronika noticed- the Italian ambassador’s wife. Veronika almost stuck out her tongue at her but then decided she was in enough trouble.
Mother’s face cleared at Lady Borzziolo’s words and she greeted the table with a pleasant smile that Veronika recognized as the one she only put on for Special Company.
“It is my daughter’s drawing book- she is quite accomplished,” Mother said gracefully. “Unfortunately, she seems to have not finished her work for today,” she added, lifting the blank pages for all to see. The ladies laughed and smiled politely and Lady Borzziolo raised her eyebrows and nodded approvingly.
Veronika breathed a sigh of relief. The ladies were pleased- Mother wouldn’t be embarrassed. And she wouldn’t be in trouble.
Mother smiled at the other ladies and graciously accepted their polite comments. Veronika didn’t listen; she looked down at the tablecloth to hide her smile. Mother said it was too big sometimes and it looked unsightly as a goat’s, but she couldn’t help it- she had escaped!
Veronika came back to the present as Mother laughed loudly about something the ladies had said. She turned her head to the side and called, “Lindiwe! Come here for a moment, please.”
Veronika turned halfway as Lindiwe stepped forward from where she had been standing near the wall.
“Yes, ma’am?” she asked, her accent so heavy that even Veronika winced. When Lindiwe spoke English, she clipped her words the way a gardener clipped hedges, and so she could never sit at the table, even if governesses were allowed in the first place.
“I think Miss Veronika has to finish her work. We will be leaving now,” she announced to the table, rising. “Excuse us, please. Enjoy your tea.” Veronika rose after her, nodding quickly at the ladies as she excused herself as well. The ladies called out polite farewells and some raised their teaspoons in a wave. Mother waved genteelly back at them, and then, without another word, led them out of the hotel dining room and through the large French doors onto the sunlit veranda.
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140,141 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hi Starhunter,
Mailice here with a short review!
We kind of have a very interesting short story here, and the first thing that came to my mind when I read it was that this is definitely an old black and white film.
There is a certain heaviness in the story, just because of the emotionality of the characters, especially Veronika and I like that a lot here. It gives the whole story an aristocracy and elegance that I really like and you also bring out well through your writing style. I especially like the fact that you try to describe and portray a lot through different ways and that we get a lot of insights from Veronika. There is a palpable present tense when reading and I find that particularly effective during the dialogue with her mother.
Since this is only a first part, I can't say too much about the characters and what happens next, but I like that you're showing off a confrontation for Part 1 right away, showing off the long descriptions of the characters in a practical way.
Two things I noticed while reading:
What I would like to say here is that your description of Veronika is very good. It is not like a description you often read, but unique in its presentation and power. Definitely a little highlight during my reading.
From everything I have read, I realise that Veronika has deep respect but also fear for her mother. That's why I find it extremely interesting that she changed from the usual "Mother" to "Mama" and I think it's also appropriate for the scene.
A very interesting beginning that somehow takes me back to a time before all the media, where everything was a bit simpler and yet the characters were as complex as they are today.
Have fun writing!
Mailice