Published December 12, 2015
I walk down the road paved of white
With each step I take, I hear a crunch.
It's like the crushing of my heart.
The shrinking of my thoughts.
Crunch. Crunch.
I look down as I take each step.
Slowly, carefully lifting each foot after the next.
The only trace of me being the footprints I leave behind.
I reach my driveway covered with ice.
One step and I slip.
I get up.
And I slip.
I want to give up, I really do!
But for some reason I just keep. Getting. Up.
I finally reach the steps.
I lift myself up.
Thump. Thump.
I trudge towards the door.
It's not a long walk.
Three steps or so.
But sometimes three steps can seem like three miles if you think about it long enough.
I touch the doorknob.
It's cold at first.
It reminds me how I feel.
Cold to the touch.
I slowly turn the doorknob to the right.
I give it a little push.
Screech!
I slam one foot in front of the other.
I finally reach the kitchen.
The smell of supposed happiness fills the room.
I make my way through all the other useless rooms.
I'm in my bedroom.
It's dark.
So very, very dark.
They all say to keep going.
To be who you are.
To be special.
There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
It's all darkness.
I grab it.
I can end it all.
Right here.
Right now.
But I won't.
The rope's in my hand,
The knife in my pocket.
The gun's under my bed,
The pills in the bathroom.
I can do it.
I should do it.
I take my knife out.
I cut the rope and put it in the trash.
The knife goes with it.
I go to the bathroom and flush the pills.
I don't need them anymore.
I take the gun out.
I take the safety off.
I put it back on.
Off. On. Off. On.
I unload the gun.
I put it down.
I walk away.
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140,133 Literary Works • 673,030 Reviews
I love this so much. It is amazing.
I love the way you describe things, it really gives me a visual idea of how you feel. Considering this is your first poem and you are new here,
WELL DONE! THIS IS AWESOME.
I put it down.
I walk away.
Love the ending.
Have a nice day.
Curiosity
Oh you are new?...I am also new to this site. I am about to post my first poem.Great work!
Great and marvelous work! This poem is very inspiring. As i read each line i felt as if i was the persona. Simple approach but effective. The poem is very good. I think there is an error in the line :
" I slam one foot I front of the other."
Otherwise this poem is a wonderful and inspiring piece of work! I am eagerly waiting for you to write more poems. I like your style of writing.
I'm glad you liked it! Yes there was an error it was supposed to be "I slam one foot in front of the other" . This is my first piece on here and this is only my first draft so I'm glad everyone who reviewed had great things to say. I hope I will be posting more things like this in the future!
Great and marvelous work!
Thank you!!!!!
This was an awe-inspiring poem! So powerful! I struggle with depression as well, and this describes that feeling perfectly. The rhythm when read aloud, set the mood up perfectly and this made me feel like I wanted to write a poem...it inspired me. I have struggled with beginning an eating disorder-but this has helped me see that I am strong and I don't need to give into the mind think. This poem was inspiring. Thank you for writing such a deep, meaningful poem.
I'm glad you liked it! I myself had suffered with slight depression, and even though the thoughts aren't there anymore, I still felt like I should write about it and put it out there for those who are. I think it's great that you related to this, and I think that itself makes it more inspiring to the person who's reading it. Thank you for reviewing!
Oh my goodness! This is such a beautiful and inspiring poem! Being someone who struggles with depression, this is very uplifting and good to hear. This is definitely something I wont forget in a hurry.
I love how you describe things. The way each footstep feels like a mile, the small details of how it truly feels to be depressed. And the last part: clicking the gun on and off. Oh, this part gets me so hard! It gets my heart racing and its just perfect, the way you end it blandly with the simple statement: "I put it down. I walk away." It reminds me that we each have a choice of how depression affects us, and the narrator takes the positive path.
I'm so sorry if I rambled a bit, this was just too good. I don't have anything I would want to change, so again, I apologize. I hope to read more from you in the future, and feel free to notify me when you write something new.
Have a nice day!
Thank you for reviewing!!!!!! I too have experience depression and even the thoughts aren't there any more, sometimes they still linger. I think that this is exactly how a person might feel with depression/suicidal thoughts and having experienced this first hand, it makes the work all the more inspiring. And don't worry about the rambling, I love the reviews and the critiques! Thank you for reviewing!
Brilliant! The poem is very touching to my bones. It reminds me of my style before I entered yws but this is better xD
Should be I go to the bathroom and flush the pills or I go to the bathroom to flush the pills.Grammatically there is a mistake. For me it doesn't matter that much though.
Other than that, it's a good poem about the struggles of those who are tempted to commit suicide. There is always that time when you feel the urge to do so, so I can relate to this poem. I like the hesitation. It depicts the struggles. I'm sorry if I didn't go into other stuff because I'm not an expert at poems myself.
Hope to see more, happy writing~
Yeah sorry the grammatical error was "I go to the bathroom and flush the pills." I guess I just type a little fast! But thank you for thinking that this is really good! Personally this is just my first draft, and I feel this could be much better, but maybe I did a lot better than I thought. Thank you for reviewing, and I hope to be posting more works like this very soon!