Dear Daddy and Mom,
As I looked around , I noticed a look of despair on a boy's face. I walked up to him slowly, so my waist length light brown hair swayed around my back and cascade down my sides. My blue eyes looked deep into his deep brown iris'. His shaggy black hair falling just over the front of his ears.
"You boy, what is your name? I am Princess Corabelle."
"We're Cora's cousins. Hello, I'm Princess Amethyst, and this is our other cousin, Princess Theophilia. Call me Amby and call Theophilia, Theo. Sorry, I don't think that we caught your name? What is it?"
"I do not give my name out to ugly girls. But as long as I'm speaking to the three beautiful princess of Abloom, my name if Jeremy James Jonson. Pleased to meet the three most beautiful girls on the face of this earth."
I looked over at Amby and wondered if Jeremy would fall for her and not me. Amby was the perfect one. Her knee length blonde hair. The way it sways with out any effort on her part. Her soft green eyes. And then there's the youngest of us, Theo. Her short red hair matches her personality perfectly. She is extremely shy. I think that I may be falling head over heels for a boy I have only just met. Oh please, Zeus, let your daughter get the boy for once. Amby is Poseidon's daughter 
And Theo is Hades' daughter 
They got the cool dads. I got the boring one. 
But I still love you! 
And I will destroy those beach bottle bimbo's for who they really are! I still can't believe that my mom is Athena though! 
Sincerely,
Princess Corabelle (Cora) Jones
P.S. If you ever ear from Theophilia or Amethyst please send me the letters.
P.P.S. Love you Daddy!!!
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,851 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Uhh...this seems to be a letter of some sort, or at least you intend it to be, but this opening paragraph barring the whole Dear Mom and Dad part just seems to be the start to a regular scene here. I highly doubt anyone would write a letter in this fashion as some sort of story without even mentioning any sort of context. I think this is just kind of meant to be a scene here and you'd be best served just writing it that way. Also...this boy's statement in the end...well, I'd say he's not winning too many brownie points with the readers, that sounds like a horribly rude thing to say there. Let's you know exactly what kind of personality that person has and its not a good one.
So even as we continue on here, I see no evidence of this actually being any kind of letter. This is very simply put a scene with the Dear part up top and then the sincerely part with the signature tagged on at either end. You need to either completely rewrite this to be more of a letter with a sort of general greeting and then an account of these events rather than showing a live event or you need to simply just do away with the beginning and the end and have a scene here.
Other than, this is...interesting...I guess the one writing the letter is simply letting their parent know something...and we get to see evidence a couple of not so great people there in this scene...and well, its a simple plot that's at work here and I think that's done relatively, its just the whole letter thing is not really accurate here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
This is a letter your writing. To me, it sounds more like your writing a story.
Would somebody really just jump into a letter writing out that quote? And where was she when she looked around, can you be more specific like; As I looked around the court yard of the palace, I...If she's writing to her parents why would she say who her parents were? Is she adopted? Please specify. Edit out the smilies. You don't put them in a serious letter.
All your description is sort of choppy, sush as
You should also never use smilies and emoticons in a serious piece of text (unless it's an actual test message or an email)
All the moving smilies distract from your piece and don't work with your whole princess vibe.
But, overall, I enjoyed this. It was an interesting start
~Kit
Nice introduction.. I would try to remember that this a letter though. You have to be consistent with the structure of the writing... you would not include details like eye color and hair length unless it was vital, and then it would be the topic of the sentence. Writing in letters for chapter can be quite problematic because of that fact. Also, the smiley faces and hearts kind of detract from the piece.. make it seem present age and more like a text than a letter. If this includes Greek mythology and princesses, I would try to adopt the mindset of people closer to that time age.
All in all, a nice start and introduction, and an interesting character development. c: