O why do I bother to think, my dear?
Why must I attempt to capture thy love?
Why is't that I should have nothing to fear?
Thy heart is a rock, unable to move.
Thou art a subtle mystery, a kind
Which causes me to guess of thy true thoughts.
Thou dost keep me awake at night, my mind
Filled with thy face. 'Gainst thy heart have I fought!
What a powerful emotion is love!
Erasing pain, yet enshrouded in doubt,
It sinks like a ship and flies as a dove:
Thy love enfolds what my life is about.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
In terms of the technicalities of a sonnet this is perfect, although you exclude the iambic pentameter (which is optional anyway).
I enjoyed this very much. The rhyming was not contrived at all and you made good use of enjambment. Very good piece.
This flowed really well. I liked the dialect you used, it really...umphed up the poem I guess I should say. Though, I'm sensing mixed feelings throughout? I see that the poem is called "On Love's Frustrations", but when I read this I tend to get joy and romatic guestures, not frustration or at least not until the end.
Try sorting through this and picking out some parts, that should do it. It was a wonderful poem in the long run though.
Keep at it!
~Rieda
hey
I really liked this it was very good
now for an error i saw
this really does not sound right you could put isn't and it would sound a lot better.