Love

I don't agree with criticizing since poetry lies in the heart of a writer, but I can still offer some advice. Throughout the lines of your poem, you seemed to be saying the same thing over and over again. Most of the poem can be boiled down to a few words. The poem is ok, but try writing a poem that isn't as overdone as a poem about love.

Hi sourdude16,

First up, should be compare, not comare, in the first line. Simple typo.

You've got too much repetition going on, especially in the first stanza. It's repeatedly "The love" over and over and it's quite boring.

Should be one, not on, in the first line of the second stanza. Remember to check your work before posting! Should be who on the third line.

I'd personally scrap everything except the last stanza. You take a really long time to say anything interesting and the preceding lines are mostly just filler, cliche phrases about love and nothing really that exciting. At least in the last stanza you try a bit harder and throw in a metaphor for fire. It's been done before but I don't want to tell you to scrap everything. Work on your last stanza and build from there.

Remember that poetry should be about presenting a common theme (love) in an uncommon way. You're presenting us with a common theme in a common way. Push the boundaries of the language you know. Writing poetry should be experimental. It should be scary and exciting and a bit strange because you're going to have to start writing things you've never written before. Otherwise, you'll forever stay repeating the same old things a million people before you have already said. Don't you want to say something unique? Something individual. Something that is YOURS and nobody else's. That's the thrill of poetry.

Try it out.

I'd like to start off by saying this is very pretty! There are however a few things I thought could do to improve it. In the first stanza, I feel you should use cannot instead of can't on the second to last line. It would help rhythmically and make you look more professional. The other thing I noticed is that the last line in the first stanza didn't make a lot of sense to me. "To the love of a couple in symmetry" doesn't roll off the tongue and couldn't really fit into the stanza like you wanted. I'm trying not to make this sound totally negative, because this was a nice poem. But your first line in your second stanza didn't make a lot of sense to me. What was it you were trying to say? Also, on the third line of the second stanza after people, I believe the word you were looking for is who. In the whole first stanza, and first half of the second stanza you capitalized the first letter of every line, but after that you only capitalized the first letter of the stanza. Just a few things to consider, but don't take it to hard. This was still really good and you have the skills to become a really amazing poet.

This was very cute! Perhaps a little cliche and over simple for my usual taste and it didn't have much original imagry, but even so it was very sweet and enjoyable to read. I like the form of it, the four line stanza then six line stanza looks neat and flows well. Form and structure is something I'm trying to experiment more with in my own poetry, and I'd definitely try using a similar form myself because it worked so well in this! The rhyme scheme was nicely constructed too, if a little predictable. Overall, I liked this, it made me smile and you have a really great style of writing, but I think the subject could have been more creative or expressed in a more creative way. I'd definitely like to read more of your work in the future.

i like it. there is also an error in the last word of the first line, i think is should have been compare.