Young Writers Society

Hey

I really enjoyed the double meaning in this poem. You're not just running a literal race-- but life in itself is a race. Forming this poem as a prayer was very effective. Only mistake I caught was in line 9, "get's" should be gets without the apostrophe. Stupid autocorrect right? Sweet piece.

groganbabygirl

This was enjoyable.

Usually I have such a downer attitude while reviewing, but this really satisfied me. Though I don't run, I can relate to the message that you are portraying in this poem. It made me laugh a lot, to be honest. You don't make it stupid or slow or anything, it's just right and that's awesome. You're awesome. This is awesome. Thanks a lot.

thanks.

Goodness, is this a fun-to-read poem. Great job, SnazzyPencil! I love the way that you built this poem into a prayer structure, and just how humorous and enjoyable it is. Even more, I like the way that this is so easy to relate to. Sure, yes, I've not run so far as a mile in the past couple of years, but I still have some experiencing doing it, and most other people have some kind of a similar experience, whether they've done sprints down a road or ever ran a marathon. I just remember how it was so tiring, it was exhausting, and I wanted so many of things that the narrator above wants. I wished that I could run fast, that it would not be hot, that the course would be a little easier for me to go through, and, perhaps most important of all, I wouldn't get tired running. Therefore, there are so many ways that I can relate to this fun poem, and I, as a reader, develop a greater attachment to the message of the poem (even though I'm not all that religious.) In that respect, your poem conveys a wonderful message, a relatable message, and can connect with the people who read it quite easily and powerfully.

Furthermore, I found that this poem is strong. It's simple, it is concise, and it communicates its message quite clearly. Each image and scene is vivid, and I enjoyed the way that you even managed to form this into a prayer. Yes, this definitely would fit the description of "The Runner's Prayer." My favorite parts of this poem also centered around the style of the poem. This included the way that the narrator asks to have the sun made dark, and then warmed up again. While I would like to state that you made an error at that particular part of the poem - it should be "gets," rather than "get's," - it was still enjoyable to read and something that I could entirely relate to. Beyond that, the end was also quite vivid. It was a nice conclusion to this prayer style of poem, with the last words to Him and the last wishes the runner has before the race. As such, when it comes to your details, your concise, to-the-point nature, and the power of this poem, I'd say that this poem is a success.

In all, this poem is strong and fun. It is compassionate, thoughtful, and a unique spin on a prayer. Your writing style is exceptional, and I enjoyed reading this from start to finish. This poem is creative, well-built, and I loved it. Well done!

Hey SnazzyPencil!
I love this poem! So entertaining- and so true!

let my shin splints be few

Let the sun shine
a little less today,
until it get's dark,
then a little more please.

help me not to puke,
or grow weary,
or die.

I really like this poem. I like how you formed it into a prayer, it brings a sweet tone to the piece. I like the imagery you used as well, I can really picture the place a person would run. Keep up the good work!