First. Respect. Definition- “ with reference or regard to others”. This is a very big part of life and it seems to be lost to the world as a whole. People can be so cruel towards others. They don’t even have the decency to realize what their actions can do to an individual. Well it’s either that or they really just don’t care about the consequences because they feed off of others misery. Vultures. They know that they hurt people, but I don’t think they will ever wholly realize what they can actually do to a person . What people say can really hurt, no matter how small or subtle, it hurts. Every-single-thing spoken at them is etched into their brains. Its burned into their skulls. It is as if you branded it into the backs of their eyelids so that it even haunts them in their slumber. You are the source of their nightmares and fears and this…this never goes away. Now this may not seem like much when you’re saying it all in the moment, but when those kids grow into adults, you will have helped to shape them into what they will become. All of you did this to them, just look at me; I’m lost without direction and I fear it’s too late for me. You drove me off of the tracks of life without any way of reattaching myself to rails.
Next. Lost. Definition- “unable to find ones way”. I guess you can say I’m “lost in the fog” because I can’t see where I’m going and have no way to see what was right in front of me. No way of knowing what was ahead or what life had in store for me. This, among many others, is also a problem that others have instigated. The judgment, cruelty, and peer pressure of others. That right there can cause a person to lose sight of who they are and make them question their entire being. They start to question the little things. How should I walk? How should I dress? How should I talk? But eventually it becomes more serious. Should I change myself to fit in? Dye my hair? Try drugs? Drink? Throw up? …Am I good enough for anyone?
The answer to that question my dears, is no. In eyes of the public you will never be good enough and never meet their impossibly high expectations or unrealistic standards.
Many are lost and can’t find who they really are because of the pressure that is put upon their shoulders. They’re told what to be rather than being who they truly are, and eventually when all your fed is the fake shit that you’re supposed to be, you lose sight of who really are. So please, do me and everyone else a favor. Shut up and keep your thoughts to yourself. Please. No one needs your filthy looks or judgmental eyes looking them up and down. You are not a predator and other people are not your prey. Waste your worthless time with something more productive, cause darling you need to realize that there’s more to life than this.
Third. Trust. Definition- “Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.” Now with that said, this is something I held at a very high value. Part of why is because it takes an exceptionally long period of time to build up, but it only takes one measly second to break into a million pieces. Just think of it as building a skyscraper. You take months upon years to construct this work of art but only to have it wrecked by one stupid mistake in the building process. Except unlike a building, once trust is broken it can never be as it was prior to your actions, it can only be mended. You can cover skin with Band-Aids and gauze; but that skin underneath it all with never be restored to its original state or normality.
Now I am alone, with all my thoughts, worries and demons. I have pushed everyone I have ever loved far far away from myself and from the place that I am currently residing in. I have nowhere to go and nowhere to run or hide. It is no longer a choice to be alone, no no, it’s too late for apologies. I have been in this state of solitude for quite some time now and I don’t think it is even possible to return to the real world, ever. All of the betrayal, the fake smiles, and lies have driven me to this point in which there is no return.
So here are some of my many reasons that resulted in my volunteered yet-- inescapable solitude.
I just couldn’t take the heartbreak anymore. I am forever lost.
---Although I may not know where I am…there is one thing I know for sure. I’m in a place where I shall never be found. Forever searching for a place to belong.
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140,561 Literary Works • 673,435 Reviews
Timmyjake to give you a review!
So I will hit a few things on this later on in the review, but I just wanted to tell you how I read this and went, Wow! This was so... strong, and passionate. I can really tell that whoever was writing it was, truly, lost.
Now I will hit a few parts that stuck with me.
Firstly, I would say that your paragraphs are way too long. Perhaps you could cut them into a few parts. Now I have always seen a paragraph as a long sentence. Its an idea. Once that idea has been expressed, and you are starting a new idea, its time to start a new paragraph as well for that new idea. You might say, well it is one big idea, and you would be right! But there are offshoots off ideas. And those need different paragraphs, too. Mainly what they do is clean everything up and make it look sharp.
Now I will hit a few grammar issues and punctuation.
You are the source of their nightmares and fears and this…this never goes away
I think that with that, you could just cut out the three periods and the second this and just put in the "never goes away."
It is no longer a choice to be alone, no no, it’s too late for apologies
That sentence has the "no no," in there that I don't think work out. I doesn't flow very well. Maybe just cut out the no's and go right to "and it's too late for apologies."
Your punctuation is good and your grammar is good as far as I can tell. There might be a few spots that I missed, but not many! I really liked this! Your way of writing drew me in and made me want to keep reading through till the end.
~Timmyjake
This really caught my eye. It's both brave and relatable, I think you not only captured your own thoughts and feelings about the painting and life, but also made a strong connection to others who often feel lost, disrespected, alone, and hurt. The way you open up is beautiful and sure and I very much appreciate that. I think we are all searching for something and you caught that feeling, spot on. I really loved this.
This is really interesting. First of all, in the first paragraph, I like your comparison to vultures. It's very relatable. I also like the way that you began every new topic with a definition of a word.
Really nice.