Curse Eye

interesting story. I like the plot so far but it was a little hard to read with all the errrors. I suggest maybe editing it...??? If not it's your choice not mine. But good job so far, can't wait to read more.

Short but really good. I'm in a rush, so I'll adapt on this a bit later. It's very interesting and I would like to read more soon, so keep up the good work!

Hello there, and welcome to YWS!!


First off, I wanted to say that I enjoyed reading your story but I found a lot of grammatical errors, so here's this:

The old wood floor creaked as the faceless man walked towards the door, then turned around towards to me. “Are you coming? If you don’t hurry we will be late.” <-- This should be in the same paragraph.

“Yes dad I am coming!” I smiled brightly as my mom sneaked up on me to kiss me goodbye.

“My two handsome men don’t be late to dinner or you will see.”

Then I ran towards the faceless man that I called my dad…

It's not the best idea to switch from the past to present tense in a story, it gets confusing and usually it is best to just use the past.

Alex woke as always soaked in sweat with a rushing heartbeat. It was the same dream he always had, of same day an endless reminder of when every thing went wrong. He hated this never changing dream, no it was changing in one detail that was his father face was slowly fading away. The dream was never changing, the only thing was that his father's face was slowly fading away.

At first he thought of it as bliss but it slowly turned into a nightmare as he tried to remember a forgotten memory of lost time. This sentence is confusing, I thought that he wanted to forget?

He rose from the bed and sat at the edge of it to look in to mirror in front of him. The mirror was a memento from his father. How was it a memento? Go into detail, was it old and ornate? He hated how he looked, especially his eyes. The dream was not the only reminder of that half forgotten day which destroyed everything.was His eyes, or rather his left eye that had mysteriously changed that day mysteriously from brown to the color ofblue. He had two different eye colors since that day.

Alex looked at bed table which had a pair of black pants, white t-shirt, black hooded jersey and some bed sheets. He quickly changed and put the new sheets on his bed and picked up the soiled sweaty clothes and bed sheets from the floor and went to the laundry. He used to as it was one of his daily routine. This was one of his daily routines.

After a quick breakfast, his mother woke up and smiled at him with a sleepy face covered in silky brown hair. It was hard to imagine that she was a cop with drool coming down from her left mouth and dress in only a t-shirt and shorts.

“Mom, as you know breakfast is in the microwave and your boss called they need you at the station.”

Suddenly, her face changed to serious and she almost yelled at Alex “What did he say, Alexander?” Why did she react so strongly? Is she mentally unstable?

“Something about an old case that you've been working for ever without leads had interesting turn I think.”

Her face lit up and she ran toward the bread to put in toaster and ran up to her room with incredible speed.

Alex looked amused, which was rare, but most of the time it was his mother that amused him because she was the type to fall into comical and troublesome situations.

“Yo, she seems more active then usually. Do you know what happened?” said a husky voice from behind Alex.

Alex looked viciously at the owner of voice which was an old grey haired man strangely dressed in a suit with a bow tie, top hat, and with monocle on.

“Shut up, Gus. How many times do I have to tell you move on to other side?”

“But Master Williams you know if I knew how to move on. I would for have 120 years ago.”

Alex look irritated at the ghost. since The color blue was not the only side effect his left eye had, it could also see ghosts and it somehow attracted them.

Gus was the thirty seventh one that crashed in his house and he has stayed in house for nearly two years.

“Jeez soon I will have to get a personal exorcist because of this random drop in by you guys.”

Gus's smiled died and he started to mutter something that Alex couldn’t hear.

“What are you saying, Gus?”

The terrified Gus looked at Alex and he started begging for mercy. Telling him not to call an exorcist and something about how it hurt his essence when he pulled out of Alex's house.

“Oh right. But what do mean by your essence?”

Gus looked surprised at Alex and then a little confused.

“Master William, haven´t none of the others ones told you about it?”

Alex look at him little guilty since he never tried to understand them and just ignore them.

“No, I have ignored them and pretend they don’t exist so what is it?”

Gus laughed then Alex´s mom went right through him and a shiver went down Alex's spine.

Hey! I really liked it, but I want to know more about the characters, like, how long has he had his"gift", and how he got his "gift. I would also like to know if anyone else knows about his "gift" and if anyone else has this "gift". I really liked it. I can't wait to hear more. Keep writing!
-Titan