Published June 7, 2011
please read the spoiler
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um i didnt get the ninja thing
I'm glad people mentioned the ninja thing, because I was unsure of it too. I wasn't sure what other word to put to convey the meaning, but I'll keep thinking.
I feel contrary to the other reviews, haha. Ultimately, I loved it. Surprisingly so, too since I'm usually pretty picky with the type of poetry I enjoy. Perhaps I'm biased, but I actually deal with an anxiety disorder on occasion [not the worst, but it can get EXTREMELY overwhelming], and I completely understood it. That said, I think you wrote it very well and made your point. I'm trying to read from the point of view from someone who doesn't understand anxiety like I do, and I still think that it's written well enough that it can be understood.

And I think the lack of punctuation was fine, even better, actually. And I picked up on the only words you actually did capitalize which I think was not only interesting but a nice touch. It gives those feelings more authority, and it personifies them as more serious and bigger than one might seem to think. And because of that, I don't mind that you didn't capitalize such things as "i" or the beginning of sentences. If you did, it would actually become an inconsistency in the poem. And you did place appropriate question marks, periods, and commas, and I didn't find a lack of them. Maybe that's just me. XD
I think maybe the ONLY point I can criticize is the "ninja" thing. It does help convey the meaning, but I feel like it's a little too common. It's not a bad simile, but I bet that you could think deeper on it and come up with something stronger. This, of course, is entirely up to you.
Hey
This isn't a bad thing and I like the enjambment especially with the subject matter but you do need punctuation otherwise it does become a jumbled load of words that are hard to follow

I agree with the other two - you definately need punctuation or if no punctuation then your lines need to feel like they have a natural end. Which your don't because you are using enjambment
Other than that thought I enjoyed it, I liked how it was almost thoughts tumbling out
Keep Writing,
Lydia
Well... personally I quite liked the complete lack of structure. It was like you had just written a train of thoughts down and the fact that there was no structure made it seem completely disorientated which fitted with the content. Generally the content was good apart from when you used the image of a ninja in referance to anxiety. This just didn't quite work for me, other people may think differently, it's just my personal opinion. I agree with Ignatius5453, you do need some punctuation. I have tried not using punctuation and I found that it needs to be there, even if it is only a couple of commas you need some in there. Good concept, but needs polishing.
It. Was. A Jumble. Of. Words. There. Was. No. Punctuation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fix that, and make some actual lines and this won't be so bad. AND CAPITALIZE YOUR I's!!!! No i like cows or something like that; it's supposed to be I like cows. The content was good, just fix the other junk, and you'll be set. Keep Writing!