The fire within was too hot to handle
She melted away to reveal a candle
The candle was small
She thought she lost it all
But the candle grew bright
She held onto it with all her might
Not just trying to survive
She finally felt alive
The candle grew brightly
She held onto it tightly
Never going to let go
She wasn't even tempted to blow
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140,115 Literary Works • 673,019 Reviews
I like the idea that even though the candle was small, it heals so much that we couldn't see. or that the candle was something desirable. but what if that candle grew too hot and the girl couldn't pull away? what if that candle was a person, for perspective? that candle outshines her so much that she had no choice but to blow it or burn away? "would you blow out your only source of light" if it was going to kill you? what would you do then? or what if without that light, you would live in darkness and die of heartbreak? is there a difference between holding it close and needing it with such ferocity that you don't know anything outside of that candle? what if it were to grow toxic like that? what would you do?
not saying that your poem is shallow or anything, I'm just a big over thinker! I like to put things in different perspectives! I'm sorry if this wasn't much like a review!
This poem is beautiful
I loved this piece. Keep up your good work.
HIIIIII ANDY
kinda glad we like the same type of poems-
Hi, i'm max and im here to give a review.
I loved this poem a lot i love how every stanza the words rhyme at the end of the stanza. you did very well on this poem, its short but has a very deep meaning and it keeps whoever is reading it interested, i will not lie a lot of poems i fall out of interest in reading because they are to long and repeat like a same thing not nessesarry words but it doesnt change, this poem though is very amazing and you did good on it! hope to read more of your poetry!
Hey SkyJade! Hannah here for a review
I hope your day is going well and that this is helpful for you!
First Thoughts:
This was such an amazing read. It's short but conveys so much in the words, and talks about something more serious in a lighthearted way. I love the rhymes- they worked out so nicely and didn't feel strained at all. The words painted such a beautiful image and I could totally imagine this as a quote on a wall or something.
Line-by-Line Interpretations:
It is so intriguing, especially the first line that turned a metaphor into something that felt so real! The melting away part is a line that I feel like a lot of people can relate to. Good, strong start here!
This is such a powerful line! It's like the narrator was dealing with something inside that was so hard that part of her melted away, and what was left is so small she thinks she's all gone.
Yes! Finally something good for the narrator! She thinks she's all gone, but the part of her that wasn't "melted" is refusing to let go. Again, the rhymes here add a lot to the poem without forcing it!
Aaahhh this is one of my favorite lines in the whole poem. It seems like what you're trying to say here is that sometimes everything feels bleak when all you're able to do is just survive the hard parts of life. Very good line here!
Finally, we see that everything's going to be okay. I love the imagery in this line especially- holding onto a part of yourself when you think it's all over.
Okay, this is my favorite line in this poem. It ends the poem both quietly and with what I think is the most hard-hitting part in the whole story. It reveals so much more about the character of the narrator and the situation she's in.
Feedback:
I don't have any feedback on word choice or spelling or grammar. I do feel like if you added some commas and periods occasionally it would make more sense to a reader. Especially here:
Since they all have the i sound it could be interpreted as:
but also as
What I suggest you do is write it as:
and so on. But that's a very nitpicky suggestion that really is a matter of style.
Closing thoughts:
I loved reading this so much and I am impressed by your ability to say so much with as few words as this! Keep writing, I would love to read more of your stuff.
Have a great day! I hope this review was helpful
Hannah