Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Just wanted to say that the first thing that jumped out at me was the formatting of the poem - you know how you begin the poem with 'slender figure'? Yeah, well, the poem itself is a 'slender figure'!!! That was so clever - even if it was unintentional.
.
However, I didn't feel the few-word lines worked for me. Not enough detail, I think. This is a poem about Romeo and Juliet, right? I'd suggest actually going and reading Shakespeare's play if you have not done so already - get carried away with your imagination! Use some wordplay, similes, metaphors - the 'slender figure/clad in white/staring up at/pure moonlight' does nothing for me; spice it up a bit more.
The rhyme was interesting, but I feel it could have been pulled off better. I am a fan of internal rhyme myself - but if you want a really apparent rhyme, the best way to make it work is to figure out your rhythm first - imabic is usually a safe way to start off
Hello,and I hope you've had a nice day and/or evening. This is a really good person for someone your age.
Your grammar and vocabulary is truly amazing, and the fact that it is Romeo and Juliet is a nice bonus as well.