Young Writers Society

Sorry this took ages guys! I've had loads of exams to revise for. Sigh. Sorry the grmmar's so bad, comma's confuse me

April 21st

Monday

6:45am

Doomsday has arrived. Or the first day of school, as my parents call it. I hate the first Monday back to school. I should begin a protest about school starting on Tuesday and ending on Thursday. I can make up rhymes and stick signs on planks of wood! I just rhymed then! I'm so skilled. I'll have to start making them now before I'm forced to enter the gates of hell itself.

7:08am

I cannot draw to save my life. I've tried to draw a picture of a dove to symbolise peace (That's what protests are about right, peace?). The problem is that it looks like a lawnmower with a beak. A wonky, freakishly long beak.

7:11am

The lawnmower gave me an idea. One of the slogans, I can use, can be 'Mow down the injustice of school!'. Good right!?

I went downstairs and found my brother playing on a game boy. Yes, a game boy. I then told him that he was sixteen and that he was a little old to be playing on Pokemon.

"I'm creating a song using it." Jack answered proudly.

"Why can't you just listen to Cd's like normal teenage boys?" I sighed.

"You see, I've plugged the game boy into my laptop. I'm recording the sound that the game boy is creating and I'm saving it onto my laptop." He answered.

"Why?"

"Listen!"

He pressed play on his laptop and the next thing I knew I was hearing a load of random beeps and a high pitch racket. He'd added a beat in the background of the music but all that did was make it sound worse. I swear that I've been deafened.

"Why?" I asked once again.

"I'm going to put it on my MySpace!" He said excitedly.

"Why?"

"You're so immature." He sniffed.

I left the room then leaving Jack to carry on with his mission on becoming a Pokemon master.

7:45am

Oh my god! I've just remembered! Danny Poynter will be in school! For the first time in history there will be an angel in hell. Not just any angel though, the angel of hotness! At least there's something good about today. I hope he likes shirts and skins football and I especially hope he likes skins. I know I do! Speaking of sports, I've got it first lesson. In my opinion it is absolutely disgusting that the youth of today are forced to spend the early hours of the morning running about in skirts. What's even more disgusting is that they let perverts teach us as well. Mrs. Parker is our sports teacher, unfortunately. Everyone calls her Pervy Parker though. I have an irrational phobia of gymnastics because of her. Handstands are the worst, she literally grabs your arse the second it goes up in the air. I'm surprised she doesn't make us do sports naked.

7:51am

That would be funny. People would stare at us though if we were naked. We may possibly be arrested as well...

4:22pm

I want steak. There isn't any in the house though. I've gotten some cake instead. I was going to have some chicken but because steak rhymes with cake so I thought it was more suitable. It's the Almighty's birthday cake. The cat with rabies is in my house again. Stupid cat flap.

4:31pmb]

The cake is stale. First I'm told that I will not be going on holiday this year and now he's trying to poison me. Why thank you father! I will now be a hermit, living in a cave with a three legged hamster and a cat with rabies. I will be living on trail mix and I will only have months to live due to food poisoning. Oh, and I will be hunted by a load of spiritualists. Great. I'll just give the cake to the cat with rabies, it won't harm it and if it does it's not like I'll be to upset. Anyway, back to the important things. School was slightly better than I thought it would be. Danny actually talked to me! He asked me where the toilets were so I told him! The only problem though was that I led him to the girls toilets... Except for that everything went great. Sports was as bad as I thought it would be. Worse even. I'm surprised that Pervy Parker doesn't read lesbian porn magazines while she teaches. Can you buy lesbian porn magazines? You can buy gay ones but can you buy lesbian ones? I'll google it.

[b]4:44pm

I love google. It has every answer in the world. You can buy lesbian porn magazines. I'm sure Pervy Parker has some. I've picked another word from the dictionary. Deprecate. It means disapprove or belittle. It's like the almighty, he disapproves of computers because he thinks people rely on them to much. Only because he lives in the stone age though. Carrying on with school. The first thing Sophie said to me was, "Your hair looks funny." How kind of her. I'd had my hair cut so I didn't look like a chubacka anymore. I'd tried curling it but it clearly wasn't up to Sophie's standards.

7:12pm

It has gotten worse. Jack has now added guitar to his Pokemon song. I can't believe that the angel of hotness likes my brothers band. I'm cringing just thinking about it. I can't imagine someone so beautiful listening to something so aggressive. I wonder if Danny likes gummy bears? I bought a enormous box for Claire for her birthday but I accidentally ate them all. In one day. I was sick. A lot...

7:31pm

The cat with rabies may as well live in my house. It's sitting on my kitchen table. What's it playing with...?

7:40pm

A peg. It is playing with a peg. Poor thing, it's got rabies and some kind of mental disorder. I could hang it on the washing line! That would be cool. I'm going to name it I think considering I more or less own it. Is it a boy or a girl though? I'll look 'underneath' if you know what I mean.

7:51pm

The thing won't let me pick it up. It's hissing at me. What does it think it is? A snake or something?!

7:58pm[b/]

What is that!? It's either a really small dick or a vagina with a lump on it. I'll go with dick. That's it! I'll name the cat Dick! All I need now is a three legged hamster. But wherever can I find one...?

[b]11:57pm

I am wet... Why am I wet?! Oh my god! The cat with rabies has pissed on me. I has the nerve to come into my room at night and piss on my hair while I'm sleeping. It doesn't deserve a cool name like Dick. At first, I thought that it was Jack that had pissed on me. It's the kind of thing he would do. Imagine if it was pervy Price that had pissed on me... That would make her the ultimate pervert. The one thing I don't get about her is that she's Mrs.Parker. Who the hell would marry that? When I first met her I couldn't decide if she was male or female. It took me a while to agree with everyone that she was a girl as well. It gets worse though. She has children. I had to be alone for a while when Claire told me that. it is a lot to take in after all. I hate piss, especially when it's in my hair. I hate that cat!

12:02am

It is cute though. When it's not on a rampage that is...