Part of my book

This is my first draft so any comments would be helpful before i get to far into the story.

“Surrender” his magically enhanced voice was heard by all.

John stood facing the front gate of the fortress, his black robes whipping around him in the wind.

On the castle walls stood three hundred men at arms, wearing the black and grey livery of the Duke of Venar.

“Leave these lands before we send you to the halls of the dead.”

“You are one man, you cannot take this castle alone, no mater how powerful you are.” shouted a man from above the gate.

This was followed by more taunts, which abruptly ended when a man, wearing heavy armour stepped out onto the battlements.

“Why have you come here to our lands?” he shouted, a voice used to giving orders.

“I have come because I want a kingdom to go with my power, what other reason do I need?” John left no pause for an answer to be given, he didn’t care what these people had to say. By the setting of the sun this night he would have the first part of his empire.

“These are my lands and you alone cannot take them,” roared the Duke in reply,

“WRONG” roared John enhancing his voice with magic, so that it shook the very ground.

Drawing on the magic within himself, John threw up a barrier around his body, then taking more magic, felt it flow with his thoughts, his will, a small spark flashed in the palm of his hand rapidly growing into a large ball of swirling fire.

Looking the Duke directly in the eyes John stretched his hand out towards him, the fireball shot through the air and exploded just before it reached the Duke.

“You see,” he bellowed, “I have a magician of my own, you cannot take my castle or my lands. Now run along before I change my mind and decide to have you killed,”

John simply smiled, at least thing would be a bit of fun, drawing of even more magic john didn’t bother to shape it, he simply threw it at the shield around the duke. There was no finesse in what he was doing, it was the magical equivalent of a brawl. John threw a constant flow of magic at the barrier, betting that the Dukes magician was no where near as strong.

John felt the barrier faultier, smiling now John could see the magician on the wall. Sweat dripping down his brow, his power would fail him soon and then John would finish off the pesky Duke.

And there is was, the flash of pain across the magicians face just as his power fails, lucky him John only wanted to kill the Duke.

There was a loud crack and a bright flash of light, with all the magical energy been thrown at the barrier a storm had been created above the castle, dark ominous clouds. Playing out the battle high above in the sky. With the crack of lightning the shield fell. John drawing on his magic again created another ball of fire. This time there was no barrier to shield the Duke, taking the full force of the fire, the Duke was thrown from the battlements, his cries of pain ended with the wet smack of his body on the ground below.

A stunned silence followed until John quietly said, “Now open my gates,” even though his voice was quiet it still reached the ears of every man woman and child in the castle

“How do we know you won’t kill us all after we open the gates?” asked someone from atop of the gates.

“Have I injured any here except for the Duke?” John asked, “Have I done anything but give you the chance to become my new capital? I haven’t injured your families or your friends,”

John could see a quiet argument starting between several of the officers standing on the battlements. None of them wanted to die, but John had just killed there Duke and a good Duke at that.

“You just killed someone who was a friend to almost every man here,” yelled down the man who John guessed was now in charge.

“To create an empire some people have to die,” said John, his patience was wearing thin, “Open the gates now or I will begin killing you one at a time until there is someone in charge who will open the gate and let this lands new lord in,”

Again John could see heated arguing but this time he also saw a man quietly walk up behind the man who had been talking to John and slip a blade into his back.

That seemed to end the argument, the gate began to open, John walked forward, his shield still set around him in case any of the soldiers got any ideas.

Three men where waiting on the othersider of the gate, one dressed in armour stepped forward.

“My lord, sorry for the delay, some members of the castle had difficulty with the change of sovereignty,” he paused waiting for some sign of understanding from John.

With a nod John indicated that he understood exactly what the man had meant.

“I am Squire Gerith Kilarn,” he said bowing, “This is housecarl James, in charge of all the servants in the castle,” he said indicating an old scrawny man, with only thin white hair and a deeply wrinkled face.

“And this is, was, the Duke Advisor,” he said pointing to the third man, John knew immediately that it was the magician.

Looking at the housecarl John said, “Have the dukes rooms cleaned, and all his belongings removed.” John then turned his attention to the magician, the housecarl understood that he had been dismissed and hurried to do as his new Lord had commanded.

“You should rest before the evening meal. I will wish to talk to you then.” Said John, the man nodded thankfully, it would take almost a day for him to fully recover.

Turing his attention back to the Squire John asked, “Are the men at arms going to be a problem?”

Shacking his head Gerith said “No my Lord, only a hundred of these men were the Dukes, the rest are men under my command. The Duke sent word to his Barons that an enemy was approaching. The lands of Kilarn are only two days ride from here and Baron Payan sent me with his men to reinforce the Dukes castle until the other barons could arrive.”

“And who was the man you, quietened?” asked John, looking carefully at the Squires eyes.

The Squires face remained impassive but his eyes displayed his worry. “He was the castle's Swordmaster,”

“What would happen to you should I be killed and another Duke be elected?” asked John, he could guess but he wanted to make sure that Geirth understood that his life lay with John remaining alive and in power.

To his credit Gerith didn’t hesitate in answering “I would be hung for treason and murder,”

John stood quietly looking at Gerith for another minute before talking again.

“Go and tell the towns people that they can return to there homes and make sure its known that I am now in charge, if I tell one of your men to do something and he disobeys I will assume that he and all the other soldiers are rebelling. So keep the Dukes men out of the castle.”

Bowing Gerith said “I will send them to inform the Barons of the change in leadership,”

He left to pass out the new orders, leaving John to admire his new castle. It was all grey stone and large walls but with its size the rooms must be huge and John would make sure that they were all well furnished.

A small boy came scurrying out of the large double doors that John guessed lead to the main hall.

“James has assigned me to be your guide,” said the boy, a fearful look on his face, he couldn’t have been more them twelve years old. He had light blond hair and strong green eyes.

“Is there anywhere you would like me to show you my Lord?” piped the boy.

Smiling John said, “Yes, could you show me where the Dukes rooms are, I would like to have a word with the newly widowed Lady,” The boy clearly didn’t understand the second part of what John had said but he still bowed and said, “This way my Lord,”

Leading him through the large doors John saw that he had been right, beyond the doors was the great hall, with large rising pillars rising up along the walls and stretching across the high ceiling. Only a few tapestries adorned the walls but the raised table at the end of the hall was of rich golden wood.

This place had a lot of potential thought John, already reordering the hall and its furnishings in his mind.

The boy lead him through a side door and up several flights of stairs, when they reached the third floor the boy said “This is the Dukes,” he quickly corrected himself, “I mean your floor my Lord, all the rooms on this floor are connected. Only those with your permission are allowed on this floor.”

“Thank you……”

“Derrick,” supplied the boy,

“Thank you Derrick, would you mind waiting here for a few minutes,” asked John,

Going red again Derrick said, “The housecarl said my duties in the kitchen were to wait until you dismissed me,”

The former Duke apartments where mostly dull, they were plain in the typical soldiers fashion, with only the essentials. The main room had a square strong table with four wooden chairs, they were practical but not something John would want to spend long hours sitting in. Otherwise the room had very little in it.

Walking through the apartments John saw a group of servants moving piles of clothing and other personal items out of different rooms. Seeing the housecarl John approached him.

“Remove all the tables and chairs but leave any books or writings, I prefer lavish furnishing to the practical. I am sure that in some of the guest rooms there must be a few good padded chairs and a decent table.”

“Yes my Lord,” said James

Just as James was leaving the room a tall lady walked into the room, there was no mistaking her as anyone else. She was defiantly the Dukes widow.

“How dare you,” she screeched, “Get out, get out, get out,” she yelled over and over again.

“Hold your tongue or I will remove it,” roared John, the Duke widow jumped back her whole body pressed against the wall, shacking she was so tense.

“The king will kill you,” she said in a quiet voice, no more then a mumble.

“Will he now, I would love to see that giftless fool try and kill anything with even half my power,” said John his anger still vibrating in his voice. His temper had always been quick to rise.

John calmed himself down before replying.

“If I hear you speak without my permission again I will have you given to the criminals in the city dungeon, do you understand?” John said, making his voice as cold as possible.

He could see her visible cringe as a chill ran up her spin.

“I expect to see you and your daughter in the hall this evening, you can arrange with James as to which room you want your stuff moved.” John said as he moved away from the Duchess.

“I,” she took a deep breath, “I don’t have a daughter,”

She whimpered as turn quickly turned on her, “Then who is that,” he said pointing to a young woman in a servant uniform.

“she certainly isn’t a servant, she stands too tall and hasn’t got a clue what she is supposed to do. If she truly isn’t your daughter then I should have her removed since she is of no use as a servant,”

When John saw that the widow wasn’t going to admit it he continued.

“She has the same light brown hair as you and, unlike anyone else iv seen in this castle she has soft brown eyes. You are the only person in this room with those eyes,”

Walking over to the young woman John grabbed her hand, holding it up he said, “These are the hands of a woman who has never had to spend the entire day scrubbing pots and cleaning cloths,” John ignored the young woman’s pleas and promises that she was only a servant, he kept his eyes locked with the widow.

“James,” said John rasing his voice.

One of the servants quietly walked over to a rope and pulled on it three times. It obviously part of a system to call servants, John would have to remember to learn the code of pulls.

James arrived within less then a minute, there must be a servant’s passage in the walls, James didn’t look like he had just climbed three flights of stairs.

“Yes my Lord?” he said bowing,

“Take the Dukes daughter and get her out of those servants’ cloths and into something of her own. Im sure you have her belongings hidden somewhere nearby,”

As James shuffled her out of the room John said.

“We will have a word about you trying to hide her later, but let me assure you again that my intention is not to harm anyone,” James gave a stiff node in reply before disappearing into the next room.

“The rest of you out for now, I wish to speak with the Dukes widow alone,”

The Servants rushed out closing the door as they left.

They both stood in silence for several minutes until John said “I am, sorry for killing your husband but he would not give up him province without a fight,” actual sorrow could be heard in his voice.

“Do not try and make excesses for what you did, you killed a good man and nothing you say will lessen your punishment in death, when you are judged in the afterlife for your crimes none will stand in your defence and no power you have will save you from the punishment you disserve,” her voice of filled with anger and sounded as if it was about to break.

“What is your name?” asked John, all trace of sorrow gone, his voice was calm and clear.

Standing straighter she said, “I am Anna Elwood, daughter of Duke Zealer and widow of Duke Payan,”

“How old are you?” asked John suddenly curious, she didn’t look anywhere near as old as the Duke,

She had a thoughtful look on her face as she tried to figure out why John would ask such a question and in what way he could use it.

Finally she gave up, she couldn’t see anyway he could use her age to his advantage, he could ask any servant in the castle and they would gladly tell him.

“I am thirty two years old,”

“And your daughter?” asked John,

Anna’s face suddenly turned hard, “You leave her alone,” her voice had become just as hard as her face.

John wanted to say, “Or what,” but he rained in his urge to scare her, he had no reason to hurt anyone else, not unless they forced him to.

“Your daughter is perfectly safe, I am not stupid. If people started to hear that I was killing young woman they would be less likely to except my control,”

John turned away from Anna and started towards the door, he didn’t want to stay in the same room as the Dukes widow for any longer then he had to. Her cold accusing looks felt like knifes to his heart, slowly cracking his composure. Opening the door he turned back and giving Anna one last warning.

“Do not try and arrange my death or fuel ideas of revolt against my rule, it will only lead to more deaths,”

Before she could reply he left.

John found Derrick sitting on the steps dozing.

“Take me down to the kitchens,” said John,

With a nod Derrick set of down the stairs, John a step behind him.

The kitchens were huge. They had obviously been built to feed thousands in the event of a siege. Two large fires dominated one side of the massive room. Both with large animals slowly rotating on large spits which were been turned by unfortunate kitchen boys, almost thirty people were rushing about trying to prepare the evening meals. One for the men at arms garrisoned in the castle and another for the people of rank, the smells were intoxicating, the rich aroma of the cooking meat, mixed with the warm smell of spices.

John almost couldn’t wait for the evening meal but he wasn’t stupid, he knew that some servant with misplaced loyalties to the dead Duke would probably try to slip something into his food.

“Who is the head cook?” asked John,

Derrick pointed to a large man standing over several other people who looked as if they wished they were anywhere but in the kitchens.

He wasn’t a big man but his face was flushed red with anger and John could see he had a temper to watch. His hair was thinning out and he had a round belly, but neither did anything to lessen his aura of command in the kitchens.

John quietly walked over to the group he was yelling at, the man abruptly stopped talking when all the kitchen staff he was reprimanding turned completely white, turning around he saw John.

Over his shoulder he yelled, “Back to work you lazy sods,” then up at John he said, “and what is it the new Lord wants down in my kitchens?”

“I would just like to make it clear that if, through some old loyalty to the former Duke, you or one of your staff attempts to slip something into my food, or in anyway try to poison me, I will make you sit and watch as I roast each and everyone of them on those spits,” Smiling coldly down at the cook John asked, “is that understood?”

Small beads of sweat had formed on the cooks brow, “Of course my Lord,” he said bowing, fear obvious in his voice, and why shouldn’t it be, John had only given them reason to fear him since he arrived here.

The conflict that had been going on inside Johns head for months and still he hadn’t been able to end it. The more people who knew what was happening the greater the danger that it would all fall apart.

The cook had rushed off while John had been thing, probably to try and stop what ever it was he had planed.

John let out a sigh, all he wanted to do was sit down and rest, but there was little chance of that happening anytime soon.