Runaway

That was absolutly superb! Utter brilliance and genius. Congratulations!

It sounded so pretty yet there was a touch of sadness shall I say, about it. All round, a beautiful piece.

I honestly liked it....
It sounds like something that most people are ready to do...or am I the only one? I think that it is very serious and the fact that you gave the tree's, the sky, and the grass personification made the poem very good. The way that it just reached out to me made me want to break down and cry. I read through the whole thing and you kept me into it the whole time. You did have a few typos and you were in the need of some punctuation, but that doesn't really matter. It is the group of words that matter. Are you telling them about the punctuation? Besides, it is better that the people read it in their own way, they can interpret it better. You are a very talented writer. Keep it up!

Hey! Awesome job! There's only two little things that I would suggest,

[quote="Sincerly_I_Write"][u][b]and then she was gone[/b][/u]

the others whispered about her
some claimed she was already dead
one said she wanted to die
the third said she wanted free
to fly away[/quote]

For that little part I got a little confused, so maybe instead of "the thirded said she wanted free" maybe "then another said she wanted to be free"
I'm not sure how you meant it, but theres that.

Another thing is maybe a little more punctuation, as in comas. But that's it, everything else is really good!
~M

Yayness, Poetry! XD

Anyway, the only thing that I could spot that nobody mentioned was that you need to work on you stanza spacing. For example,

She chose to walk alone

the others watched in a distance

she wished she were a bird

so she can fly away

the others whispered about her

some claimed she was already dead

one said she wanted to die

the third said she wanted free

to fly away
seems a bit too long compared to the rest of the poem. Asides from that, good job!

Oh, and welcome to The YWS!

Edit: You also need to capitalize the first word in each line.

She chose to walk alone
the others watched in a distance
she wished she were a bird
so she can fly away
the others whispered about her
some claimed she was already dead
one said she wanted to die
the third said she wanted free
to fly away

<Need Punctuation>

some say she wished to hard
some say she wished to long

<'to' should be 'too'

but one autumn day
they woke
and found
that she was gone

<Punctuation>

the trees stand witness
the sky would never tell
the grass didn't move
and the ones who witnessed it said.....

<Punctuation>

at the break of dawn
she walked outside
opened her arms to the breeze
and we closed out eyes
and then she was gone

<Punctuation>

one autumn day
she left us all alone

<Punctation>

blood shed tears and pained memories

<Odd?>

no one had ever guessed the reason she has left
but one autumn day she opened our eyes
and taught us how to see
what was right in front of us

<Punctuation>


Unless you couldn't tell, you NEED punctuation, capitalization, and spelling! Please, go back and edit this. Without proper grammar, your poem seems sloppy. I can't even comment on the content of the poem which I found to be interesting. Please, go back and edit this. It will do you and it a great amount of good.

Hello! I think that your poem tells a wonderful story! There were a few minor spelling errors, but other than that, i think it could be one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read!

Keep Writing!

Wow that was pretty good! It is so emotional, and it has a hidden message within it.. the only part i can critique is:

"Some say she wished to hard"

"Some say she wished to long"

The too's are wrong.. you said to, but its too..

other than that, its great!