Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
She stood there, staring into the darkness that surrounded her. Their laughter still echoed in her mind as she searched for a way out of this livid nightmare. She sank to her knees, drawing her legs to her chest and starting out in the blackness. Pain throbbed in every part of her body, her heart beating senselessly against her chest. The noise of screeching tires surrounded her and every once in a while a bright, blinding flash of white light would appear before her eyes. Tears welled in her hazel eyes, spilling slow tracks down her dirty, dust-stained face. The face of a boy appeared before her, offering her a hand, willing to help her from the deep abyss. There was something about him that was achingly familiar. Her heart twisted as she took his hand, watching as his white hand stood out against her tanned wrist. He pulled her to her feet and brought her close, wrapping his arms around her. The smell on his skin, a light jasmine with a hint of rosemary, attacked her senses, sending shooting pain throughout her skull. Her hands jumped to her head as she screamed; the darkness shattering around them. Fresh tears poured down her face as clear white light shone down on her. Very slowly, she peeled open her eyes inch by inch, looking up to see the boy was gone. What happened? She thought, slight panic welling inside her. Where’d he go?
Around her was a field of dark green grass. A short line of trees stood several feet away from her, a tricking brook heard in the distance. Birdsong was light in the air and the whine of a horse sounded not too far away.
“Emra!” a voice called to her.
She looked around, lowering her hands from her face and digging her nails into the soft earth. Confusion and panic welled inside her as she saw no one. Am I going insane? She wondered.
“H- hello?” her voice sounded croaked and aged.
“Emra!” the voice called again.
Sudden anger seized her. She shot up and spun around, unable to understand.
“Who’s there?!” she yelled.
“Emra it’s me! Please wake up! Please! Wake up wake up! It’s not supposed to go like this! I’m sorry please wake up!”
“I am awake! Where are you?!” Emra screamed back.
“She’s not breathing!! Please! Please someone help me! Em please wake up!” the voice was all around her now, sobbing in its hysterical voice.
“Who are you?!” Emra became hysterical herself.
She clenched her fists to her side, her pale brown hair falling around her face in silky strands. Squeezing her eyes shut, she hung her head and begun to cry, wishing for this nightmare to end. Suddenly her eyes popped open and she ran for the trees, grabbing the lowest branch she could find before swinging herself onto it. She climbed higher and higher until the branches began to sway under her weight. Seeing the top so close, she couldn’t resist. She reached for a higher branch just as the one that held her snapped. A scream was torn from her lips as she clung to the upper branch with one hand.
“Help!” she screamed, “Help me! Somebody! Anybody!”
“Emra?! Emra where are you?!” a second voice, unlike the first, called.
“Over here!” she yelled back.
“Hang on I’m coming!”
“I can’t!” Emra sobbed, “I’m slipping!”
The branch began to splinter in her hands, making leaves and twigs rain down on her head. Another sob escaped her throat as she fought to hang on. Finally, after three pain staking minutes, the branch broke. She screamed and shut her eyes as she fell, plummeting down to the earth. She tried to brace herself for when she hit the ground, but the impact never came. Opening her eyes again, she found herself lying on a soft bed in a lavender room. A young girl sat besides her, shaking her shoulder, tried gray-blue eyes staring into her’s.
“Emra…Emmy its okay. I’m here. It’s all okay.” Strands of hair fell in the girls face as she clambered into the bed with Emra, taking the shaking girl in her arms.
“Who are you?” Emra sobbed, putting her face into her hands.
The girl stiffened and pulled away, her eyes wide and wounded, “Y-you don’t remember me?”
The girl’s face dissolved into a thousand different parts as the room began to fade away. The screeching of a car filled her head and bright white lights flashed in her eyes. She felt something slam into her body, the impact throwing her back several feet. Pain throbbed through her rib cage as her head slammed into wicked sharp asphalt. Then, she knew no more.
Hours later she woke to begin the horror all over again.
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Hey, there! RagingLive here to review for the Grinches!
1) First off I'd like to say that this was some of the best writing I've seen for a prologue. It has a continues flow of dialogue that keeps you hooked and nearly falling off of your seat.
2) The ending makes you long for more because you're drawn into Emra's emotions and can practically read her thoughts.
3) I love how you're so descriptive! The entire first paragraph is so addictive you just have to read more. Most writers can have a few problems with thrusting a reader head-long into a story or prologue, me being one of them, but you pulled it off beautifully! Congrats!
I absolutely MUST read more so when you publish it I plan on being here!
Signing out for now!!!
~RagingLive
Thanks so much!
Just passed by!
Man, I liked this one! The story's really thrilling and it kept...spinning somehow. Spinning in a good way! It was exciting and your writing was vivid. I made me emphasize with this narrator. Mysterious story, and perfectly resolved in the end! Wonderful! Wonderful! I loved your emotion and wording here!
Just a few things...
I was just a little confused.... starting out? Or staring
the 'senselessly' part was a bit off since you've mentioned that 'pain throbbed in every part of her body,' therefore, rendering the senseless part unnecessary.
..... A trickling brook..
That's it! Hope this helps! Gosh, you've really got potential. Keep it up, friend! *salutes thee*
Keep on Dreaming!
-Sybil (WaltzingDreams)
Thanks!
~Sillia
This was wonderful work! I loved your descriptions and writing style. It painted a really good picture of the surroundings and your writing really did a great job of portraying the character's emotions. Also I like how the story is constructed. For example how you clued in that there was a car accident in the dream and the ending. I loved it and I can tell this will be a great read.
-Redbox275
Thank you!
Sillia
Ok.. seriously speaking- I loved this. The idea may sound mainstream or cliché but it is true. I really liked reading this.
The rhyming scheme was good and it flowed well. I honestly liked how you ended this but I just wish that this poem was longer.
Thank you for a great read and hope to read more of your work.
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Not marked as a review.
Oh dear! hehe its not a poem its a the prologue to a story!
Sillia