For Glory

by Sieanna

Published March 11, 2016

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For Glory

In the north west of China In the town of Lijiang a boy around 16 waited for his mother to be done making dinner. For tonight was a feast for not only for them, but for the Chu’s too. Gui has never met the Chus before neither has there parents for they were from the south of China. His brother came out of large wooden house and saw his brother Gui for the first time for today since he was very busy with chores. “Gui, mother has finished making lunch. The Chus will be here at any time. Are you not excited to meet the new family from the south?” Gui looked at his brother Rong and signed that no he wasn’t excited at all for the visit of the Chus. Maybe neither parents nor his brother had heard the rumors that they were ‘heathens’. He had heard they were Taoist and did not believe in the five constant relationships. “Brother, I have asked you a question,” Rong stated, waiting for an answer. Gui looked at Rong in surprise for he had forgotten he was there. “I'm sorry Rong for not answering yes, I’m excited for the Chus to come.” Rong smiled and nodded as he looked beyond the courtyard his smiled grew wider. Gui wondered what he was looking at and turned his head to where Rong was looking and saw the Chus.

He saw a lady who seems to be the mother. She had dark black hair was neatly in a bun. She also had a simple red cotton dress. She was very slim along with the rest of the family. He also saw a beautiful slim girl with other cotton red dress on except her hair was down and long and blackish with highlights of dark brown. She was being carried by a man assumed to be the father of the family. He had a long baggy shirt on with baggy trousers.

Rong and Gui were the entryway to their wooden house. Rong smiled and greeted the family very politely and bowed his head. As Gui looked at the girl he noticed two things. One is that the family seemed to be very poor by the way their clothes were and the second thing is that Gui noticed that the girl’s feet seemed to be bent, He could only assumed to be bounded, he hated it.

Rong led them inside the house and Gui followed the family closely behind He was greeted by the smell of food. When he looked at the table he could see cooked duck, yams and a good sized fish along with some tea for everyone. Once the Kaos introduced themselves to the Chus the father of the Chus sat down and put the girl down next to him and everyone began to dine. Gui looked around the table and first tried the duck his mouth instantly filled with flavor, It was very oily and fatty, It didn’t have that much meat on it, but it didn’t make it any less delicious. After lunch was finished he realized that the other family only ate the vegetables and no meat what so ever. The girl named Hoang told her father something, but I couldn’t clearly make out what they were saying.

“Excuse me, but my daughter wishes to get some fresh air and practice her Taoism meditation.” Rong narrowed his eyes and the rest of the Kao’s had a look of either surprise or confusion. Rong chose to speak up, his voice deep “did you just say, Taoism Mr. Hasky?” The father had a look of sheer confusion. Clearly he has not sensed the hostileness in his voice as he spoke “yes Taoism, the meditation really helps clear your mind.” Gui looked at his brother Rong, and knowing what happened to him, he would not take this lightly. “So you do not have the five relationships?” Gui asked, He did not like where this is going at all. Mr. Hasky walked out with his daughter to take her to practice the Taoist meditation leaving the mother to explain the Taoist ways and how anything else is bad, and how she was glad she met more Taoist like them.

The father of the Kao’s seemed a little taken back “I think it’s best if you guys leave now.” The mother could sense the hostility in his voice and took in the looks of the family members before her. She spoke calmly as she got up and told her husband and her daughter that they spent their fair share of time there and it was time to leave. Mr. Hasky could sense the sadness in her voice and didn’t question it and scooped up her daughter and quietly left the beautiful courtyard.

Gui looked at his brother Rong for he looked lost in his thoughts. Rong waited for his mother, and father to clean up the table then he looked at Gui, “Gui, come with me outside, please.” Gui looked at his brother and nodded as both of them walked outside Rong could not help but wonder about the Taoist family. The girl she was bounded. Just like ‘her’ the girl from his past. He remembered her very clearly, and how she betrayed him, tricked him.

*FlashBack* Rong smiled at Al, and smiled at her and she smiled back. Rong looked at down and wondered if this was the right time to ask her for her hand in marriage. “So, Al I was wondering. Would you take my hand in marriage?” Al gasped as she saw the ring in his hand. She and him both knew it was forbidden for their social status for she was a simple commoner while Rong was a nobleman. Al smiled, but there was a flash of regret in her eyes. Her smiled quickly faded, and she looked away from Rong. “I can’t. You’re. You’re a neo-confucian.”

Gui looked at Rong and decided to leave him to his thought. As Gui continued he wondered if he would ever see them again. He did not care for them nor despise them. Then again he wonder what was so good about Taoism? Over half of his home village has turned to Taoism for true happiness and finding their own path in life. He could not understand why though. It was decided then would learn about Taosim and what makes it so superior to neo-confucianism. Gui thought for a moment and thought that no one knows confucian better then the Chus that have moved in.

He went to their house, and saw it was very small hovel. He looked and saw Hoang sitting alone outside in a mediation form taking deep breathes in and out. Gui choice to watch for a little before calling her name very softly not to scare her. Hoang opened her eyes and had a look of shock on her face. “What are you doing here Gui? Has someone sent you looking for my father?” Gui said no as he proceeded to sit next her as she walked closely. “Teach me about Taoism please. I wish to know what is so taking to be a taoist then a neo-confucian.”

Hoang didn’t say anything and just nodded her head and told Gui to just breath. As for this meditation didn’t have any poses to do or ways to do it. You just sit and relax and breath. After they were done Gui looked slightly flutered he didn’t understand what he had learned. He didn’t feel any different from before and only thing that was different was he had a kinda dizzy fuzzy sensation going on. Making him feel loose and unaware. Before Gui could leave hoang had called him back “U-um hey, um Gui can you take me on my bench please?” Gui looked at her surprised then remembered she could not do a simple task such as that. He left her propped up on the bench and he left.

Once he got home he did not see Rong around. Maybe that was a good thing for now. Gui thought about what maybe he had learned that day. After that Gui visited Hoang every day. While Rong was wondering where his brother everyday around noon. He soon gave up trying to find out since Gui refused to tell even under the commandments. Hoang and Gui became close, but yet still not friends. Hoang has tried to befriend him, but there was always a barrier between them that he kept up at all times. After this Gui and Hoang has had secret practices together while his brother, Rong tried to find inner peace on his own. Their parents never found out about it. Either has Hoang’s parents, but they would have been fine with it.





` Finished 

Comments & reviews · 2
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garrettmilner Review
garrettmilner wrote a review Review · Mar 14, 2016

Hey Sienna,
I really liked your story, especially the part when he had the flashback. I noticed a lot of punctuation errors though. At the end of names, capitalization and such. Also I was wondering is Al pronounced like the name AL or Ai because AL doesn't seem very Chinese. Remember to capitalize the religions too like Taoism or Neo-Confucianism. I liked the way you put food into the story, like including duck and fish. I wish you could have put more about the girl too: Was she from another town? Did he see her again? Things like that. Other than that a very good story!
From Garrett

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na3f
Review
na3f wrote a review Review · Mar 13, 2016

Hi Sienna,

I have a quick review for you! Just wanted to say that this was a really interesting short story for me to read. I didn't know much about Tao philosophy, and to get an authentic look at conflicting families was really refreshing. I also really enjoyed the descriptions you used, they painted a very interesting picture of the people and the places they were in - you have a real knack for being descriptive so bravo to you!

I would suggest proofreading your work once or twice as there were tiny spelling/grammatical errors that popped up throughout the piece. It was inconsistent which I think alludes to the fact that you are more proficient in writing that the mistakes suggest! I have a few examples below that I hope will help.

"In the north west of China In the town of Lijiang a boy around 16 waited for his mother to be done making dinner"

I feel that the semantics of this sentence is incorrect; it might flow easier if it were: "...waited for his mother to finish making dinner."

In the following sentence: "Gui has never met the Chus before neither has there parents for they were from the south of China.", the tense is incorrect (has is present tense, and had is past tense), and is missing a comma in my opinion.

It might read better as: "Gui had never met the Chus before, neither has there parents for they were from the south of China."

The following sentence was slightly confusing to me: "His brother came out of large wooden house and saw his brother Gui for the first time for today since he was very busy with chores."

The repetition of the words "his brother" makes the perspective a little convoluted, I had to re-read it again to understand it. Perhaps switching up the wording may help smooth it out.

The following system changed perspective: "The girl named Hoang told her father something, but I couldn’t clearly make out what they were saying."

Previously the main character was referred to as "he" but in this sentence it becomes first person. Again I think proofreading your work would iron this out, but it's definitely something to watch out for, and an easy mistake to make!
1
Anyway that's my critique for now. Hope it helps, thank you for sharing, and keep writing!



Why is my dog your fig father????
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