Time Is Almost Up

This is a really good poem. I'm inferring this poem is talking about racism, and this is not an easy topic to write about. However you made it sound really nice. I don't think you should change anything in this poem. Fabulous job!

see i am not a deep person, but i can totally understand this poem. i know people ask that question everyday. i love the poem

Shyblueishflower wrote:Forget about the darkness
And forget about stars
If you were really focused
You would see the world is really falling apart(The thing about this line that i don't like, is that you used the word "really" , after using it in the line above, as well. You might want to consider re-phrasing)

Every moment someone dies
But every other moment starts a new life
Who would want to bring a life into this place?
Where everyone is race against race(This sentence doesn't quite make sense. I think you mean: "Everyone is racing against a race" , or along the lines of that. )

Children are tortured like Amber was
Others are left and abandoned by us
Nobody deserves not to be loved(You mentioned that everyone deserves love, yet in the line above, you claimed that 'WE' (Including you) abandon children. Rephrase?)
But there are those who just want a hug

Enough with the games
It's time to focus
Don't you see the end is near?
Time is almost up

Forget it
I’m through with this
I've tried to help you enough
But before I go
Let you be warned
Time is almost up

Good one, keep it up!

wow, I really liked it. It held so much truth and honesty. I really like your style of writing, and the topic was chosen well. I just want to say to be careful with the syllables in the first paragraph, it can ruin the flow you've got there. But other than that I really liked it

I liked it, the flow could use some work, but if I got things correctly, you're talking about racism? Correct? My schools doing an annoying crackdown, but it's really just causing more racism when everyone makes fun of it... or it's really effective and just making me notice it. Anyways, I like it, and keep uploading your stuffs. I don't have much else to say, so... that's it!

--Skis