Published January 13, 2012
--- Note before you read: I found this poem I wrote three years ago in fourth grade, so it's not the greatest thing in the world but I was only eight then.(Ugh first love that year...) ---
Little Thing Called Love
It is my life to shape and change,
Not yours to do what you please.
So do just stop there, Mister Sir
And not walk all over me.
You're not my mother or my dad,
You're just another boy,
Like one with fake promises
Of happiness and joy.
I know you like me and that is sweet,
But I'm really not intrigued
By your looks, your grades and sports
You speak of so highly.
Me, I'm not a crazy girl
Who doesn't have a brain.
I tend to think before I act,
Especially in this game.
The game we play is called "love",
And it's very complicated!
"I don't think it has to be, though,"
Is what I've always stated.
If you stop and give up now,
And lose this match with me,
It's OK, you're not my type
They're plenty of fish in the sea...
Why would you even fall for
Somebody like myself?
I'm not the prettiest girl around
Or most popular on the shelf.
'Cause you are very handsome,
All the girls swarm to you,
With a winning smile and chocolate hair,
And beautiful eyes of blue.
You remind me of sweet times
Like someone from above.
Oh, what am I saying? What am I doing?
I think I've fallen in love.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hey Stars!
I like it.
First thing was 'and' at the beginning at a sentence, now maybe this rule doesn't reply to poems, but try to avoid using those words. Another thing was the very last sentence, did you make those extra spaces on purpose? That part confused me a little.
Hope this helps.
Aww I love it!
Thank you so much for reviewing and like I mentioned before, yeah I was little then. (Well I guess I'm still young now...)
Ooh! And what you said about Lord of the Rings is true! It will always have a special place in my heart.
---Shooting Stars
Aww its kinda cute. You're right, technically speaking its not the greatest poem but its alright. You can tell its written by someone young because of the cliche opinion of what love is, i.e it doesn't have any depth. Oh and I smiled at "Mister Sir", I thought that was kind of funny
With that said, there's some good bits. I think the last line is good and dramatic. I'm finding it hard to write a helpful, serious review, but cute poem
- Rachel. Oh and nice Avatar, just watched Lord of the Rings again last night 