Published November 19, 2011
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140,831 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
I really liked this piece, it flowed really well and had great imagery. The only thing I don't like is the title, I feel like you would get more readers if you had something else. Just because a title is a very important thing when writing poetry, it needs to pull the reader in, it kind of has to be like the introduction in a story when your trying to hook the reader. Ideas for new titles:
Lesson's of My Mona Lisa
or maybe
The Shattering of My Mona Lisa
Overall great job I really loved this!
Peace,
Snickerdooly
Alright, I love your poem overall! It's refreshing to read something this well written. I love your word choice, and for the most part, the flow is great as well. As you wrote at the end, the combining of the two poems is a little rough. When reading through, you can specifically tell the two poems apart. I think if you were to mix them up a bit more it would improve the overall flow, but you would have to swich things up a bit to make it work of course. Good Luck on that, and keep writing!