Hello, Steggy here for a short review!
First off, I'd like to say welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy it here ^^
I like the kind of theme you have going on here but at the same time, I've read this type of idea in many other poems. How the speaker is talking about a character who wants to make a difference but has to go through many different obstacles before reaching her happy ending. This also follows the theme that anyone can make it through life if they try hard enough.
he heard a song in her celestial voice.
It called to her and for what it was worth,
She ripped her past and threw it in the hearth.
She rose up and went out in the rain,
let the drops wipe away all her pain.
I think throughout the entire poem, this is my favorite stanza. Because it seems to show the improvement that the character is going through, such as hearing the celestial voice calling her to the future. Even though there is a little description, this piece has that sense of sincerity. However, it wouldn't hurt to add some description in parts.
She was happy in her utopian world
Silently weeping, broken and hurt.
I like the beginning, also. Mainly because you set the stage of what is going to happen/foreshadowing a type of 'rebellion' on her life.
Overall, this was a nice poem. If I could suggest one thing, it may be just adding description or maybe even a backstory to the woman in the poem.
If you have any questions, let me know!
Steggy
Points: 25891
Reviews: 279
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