Love Never Changes

“No, 75 is too much. I won’t give a rupee more than 65,” I said. It was pretty hot in Ahmadabad and I was getting irritated because of the sweat. And on top of that I was being asked for 75 rupees for a hardly five km trip.

“Kya memsaab, this is the rate. You are new to the city that’s why you don’t know …”

I gave him the money.

“Now don’t argue and take 65.”

Without another word I walked away from the taxi to the entrance of a small lodge. I was reluctant to enter it but I entered anyway.

The place had a musty smell. Traces of alcohol and tobacco could also be detected. The receptionist, who was wearing a white shirt which had lost its whiteness due to the dirty environment, was chewing paan. I approached him.

“I need a room for today night.”

“That will be 400, madam,” he said taking out his register.

I was in my room after ten minutes. The room was no better than the reception. But I only had to spend a day here. After attending the reunion today I’ll leave tomorrow. Mummy did insist me to rent a better room but what is the use of wasting so much money when I was only here for a day?

I never wanted to come here in the first place. Everything in Ahmadabad reminded me of one person, Satya. When I came to know that he will be there for the reunion I made my mind to be there also. But was I ready to face him?  Maybe not. But I made up my mind to apologize to him for what I had done thirteen years back.

                                                                                                     ~*~

The banquet hall was another five kilometers from the lodge. And the driver again demanded another 75. This time I gave him the money without much ado. Maybe it was the urge to meet Satya that made me do so.

I reached an hour late so the party was in its full swing. Among all the faces I could recognize some of them. Oh how it feels when you come across your old college friends!

“Oh my god! Samira! Is that you? How nice to see you again!”

I turned back. It  was a familiar face just that I couldn’t remember who it was.

She saw the question mark on my face.

“It’s me! Apeksha! Hi!”

“Oh yeah I remember! You’ve changed a lot!”

“So have you!”

She made me meet many other people and soon we were all talking about what we all were doing, our marital status, salaries etc. but my thoughts were fixed on Satya. I tried to move my eyes around without anyone catching me so that I could locate him. I couldn’t. So he won’t come now?  Suddenly someone called out my name behind me.

“It’s been long. Isn’t it Samira Sood?”

Yeah! At last he’s here! I knew that was his voice. I turned in excitement.

And saw a totally different person standing in front of me.

Yes. At first I thought he was not Satya. He looked taller than I had expected him to be, he looked muscular and his face was well-shaped. But his smile compelled me to believe his identity. He was not the fat, floppy Satya I had known. Then that memory came flashing down on me…

“Hey lose some weight. Go to gym. I mean you are Samira Sood’s boyfriend,” I joked. We were returning from college.

He said nothing just laughed.

And there he was standing in front of me, smiling.

“See, I lost weight for you…”

I felt like hugging him that very moment. But ‘what would others say’ attitude of mine stopped me from doing that.

Instead I just said,

“You look really good…completely changed!”

“Yeah,” he said smiling.

We kept staring at each other not knowing what to say. My tense face hid the joy I had in me on seeing him. But along with that it also hid the guilt…

                                                                                                         ~*~

“My parents are against our wedding Satya…,” I said. I was frightened. It was the final year of the college and the next morning we all had our final exam.

“My parents too...,” his voiced cracked over the phone.

“So…what do we do now?”

He didn’t reply. He was thinking. I waited for a minute.

“There is only one way out Samira…”

“What?”

I knew he was he was hesitating but he said at last.

“We have to run away…”

I was shocked. Did I just hear him say that?

“Are you kidding? How can we run away? What will others say?  It will be so shameful for our families!”

“I know Samira but we have to. There is no other way…”

“But Satya…”

“You love me right?”

“Yes!” I said without hesitation.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes!”

“So please be there tomorrow at the bus depot after the exam gets over at one o’clock sharp. I am booking tickets for Delhi. I will be waiting.”

I didn’t say anything. I was speechless. But I loved him and couldn’t think of living without him. I made my decision even though a feeble one.

“Yes. I will come…”

“Promise?”

“Promise!”

                                                                                                                  ~*~

“What are you thinking?” he asked me.

Startled I looked at him.

“Oh! Nothing, just wondering something…”

We hadn’t talked much in those three hours that we had been with each other in the party. He had not only changed physically but was a different person altogether.

“So what are you doing now?” he asked.

“Working in Mumbai with a business firm.”

“Married?”

I hesitated a little bit. I was a little reluctant to say maybe. I am thirty-five! Don’t you think I’ll be married?

“Umm….divorced actually.”

“Oh! I am sorry…umm…I hope I am not interfering by asking why…”

“No, it’s all right. Actually…he wasn’t very cooperative. I mean he had some other dreams. It didn’t suit me. Divorce was our joint decision.”

Silence floated between us. Satya decided to break it.

“So you came all the way from Mumbai for this reunion? Nice! So when will you be leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning. By bus.”

Silence again. This time I decided to ask him.

“And what are you doing..?”

“Infosys, Delhi…”

“Oh! You shifted to Delhi. That’s the place we had planned to go…”

I guessed I had said too much. And his face said he was also remembering the conversation we had thirteen years back. That was the last time I had talked to him. Since then we had not talked at all. We were talking to each other after thirteen long years!

I gathered the courage and spoke, “I am sorry Satya!”

He looked at me for a while. I expected him to shout at me and say stuff like Sorry? Do you even know what it means? Instead he asked me,

“Sorry? For what?”

Doesn’t he remember? Or has he forgiven me?

“I know I did a horrible mistake thirteen years back. I mean you loved me so much and I didn’t show up at the bus depot after the exam. I was really scared Satya. Scared of what others would say. Our families would suffer if we would have run away. And after that I didn’t have the courage to face you! I am really sorry. I know you must be mad at me; maybe you haven’t even forgiven me. I didn’t have a nerve to contact you after that!”

I said it all in a single breath. I wanted to complete it as soon it was possible. I didn’t even look at him while saying that. After I ended I looked at him.

His eyes were filled with tears. He looked at me with affection. He didn’t say anything

.

“But why didn’t you try to call me after that, Satya? Were you so angry at me? If you could have made just one call I would have explained everything.”

He was still staring at me. With the same face, same tear filled eyes. And he spoke,

“You did not come to the bus depot that day? Really?”

I was surprised and confused. Why was he asking me this? I answered him anyway.

“No. I didn’t…”

He was smiling now. And it was the same smile, the smile I used to love thirteen years back.

“I also didn’t show up that day Samira …” he said in the half-cranky voice.

“Wha…?”

“Because of the same reasons that you had!”

I was speechless. Was he really saying that? All those years we both had been living under the horrible misconception that we had hurt each other and now here we were standing in front of each other realizing that we had literally wasted these years without each other!

“Really?” I asked.

He nodded.

I was about to hug him when a thought came to me. Should we be together again? Is it right?  And I stopped.

“Umm…I should go now it’s pretty late!”

Saying so I left the party. I left him alone.

                                                                                                              ~*~

I had been sitting at the bus depot, the next morning, for the past two hours. The bus was late. I was fidgeting with my mobile phone. I wanted to get away from there as soon as possible. I was being a coward. Again. Yes now I was really hurting him. But I didn’t want this to carry on. We weren’t meant to be together. It was not possible. I had to leave him. All this would…

“Hi!”

I looked up. It was Satya.

“What are you doing here?”

“My bus for Delhi leaves in five minutes.” He said pointing to a bus.

He sat next to me. After a minute he said,

“So what now? You’ll leave for Mumbai, I’ll go to Delhi. That’s it right?”

I looked at him, a little confused.

“What do you mean?”

He smiled.

His bus honked twice.

“Oh! Guess I’ll have to leave now. By the way here’s your ticket. I bought one for you, like I had that day. The bus is leaving. I hope you are coming!”

I stared at the ticket. Then at the bus. Then at his hands stretched out for me to hold. Yes, he had always loved me. And I had always loved him. I was wrong. We were meant to be together.

I took out the ticket to Mumbai from my purse and tore it into pieces. Holding the ticket not only to Delhi but to the person I had always loved, I stood up gave my hand to his and we walked up to the bus together.

Our life was starting from where it had paused!