z

Young Writers Society



A Home That Never Was

by trashykawa



Hiraeth  (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past


My life's been leading

up to this moment.

Up on the railing,

the cool metal kissing

my skin.

.

Last of the sun rays,

warmth washing over my face.

.

The breeze playing with my hair

it hums, it sings of longings deep buried.

And I can almost hear you singing for me.

.

I am happy, even as the light recedes to darkness

for the stars are already twinkling, I long to become them.

.

Tonight; it is lovely,

your memories hug me,

they kiss me.

And I feel at Home, a Home I have never known.

.

Beneath me is a world:

of metal, and men,

of dirty hands, and

poison rivers

that overflow with their brothers' bloods.

Rivers that carry your blood.

.

Above me is Home; a Home I do not yet know,

a home from where you call for me,

The heaven where I long to be.

.

.

.

Letting go isn't hard.

Falling doesn't hurt.

The further down I drop,

the closer I get to you

and the closer I get to home. 

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Points: 306
Reviews: 4

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Fri Jan 04, 2019 7:45 pm
AmberSunset wrote a review...



This honestly makes me speechless! What am amazing poem! One of my favorite parts was how you put a definition at the top of the poem. I feel like it really added to the poem. The entire focus of it was so touching. I could feel the poem. It wasn’t like reading a boring paragraph. I felt what the poem was trying to say! It was truly amazing. The poem was grammatically correct. The word “Home” was capitalized almost every time. I do love the emphasis on it, but there were two “homes” that were not capitalized. I am not sure if they were meant to be or not, but I believe they should all be capitalized. However, that is nothing to be concerned over. I don’t think I could critique it in any other way! I absolutely loved this piece! Keep on writing! :)




trashykawa says...


you spotted good; those two homes were meant to be capitalized (i'm very sloppy with my capitalization, but i'm learning :)

I'm glad you liked my poem, and thanks for the review!



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34 Reviews

Points: 74
Reviews: 34

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Wed Jan 02, 2019 12:36 am
Swetachowdhury0 says...



Wow, just amazing..... Don't have words to describe but it is really amazing... Hats off to you....




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461 Reviews

Points: 7451
Reviews: 461

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Wed Jan 02, 2019 12:24 am
Horisun says...



First off, I just wanna say, this poem was amazing! I loved it! Honestly, I don't think anything could be done to improve it. Your making my job hard here! I guess congratulations is in order.
As always, keep writing.
And happy new year!




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5 Reviews

Points: 124
Reviews: 5

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Tue Jan 01, 2019 11:08 pm
MariaDaCat wrote a review...



Dear hiraeth,
This is beautiful. Everything you make gets better and better. I can't wait until your next poetry piece. Personally, I think next time you could make "Home" have a lower-case "H", but I know what you mean by it. Really, you are my favorite poet and I know others can agree. Keep it up!
Your fan,
MariaDaCat





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