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16+ Language Violence

Before The Dragon (Revamp) - Chapter 2.1

by ShadowVyper


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

The shouts of battle and clanging of armor overhead were muffled by the dirt between the troops above and the tunnel below, but were still clear enough to make Jerica’s stomach feel like there were slugs in it. She walked as quickly as she could in the narrow space, focusing her attention on not slipping on the damp stones under foot.

There were two metal doors along the tunnel, one about a kilometer away from the palace, and another about a hundred meters before the end of the tunnel. They silently unbolted each in turn and pushed them open, readying them for a quick exit. An explosion overhead shook Jerica to her very bones, and caused the small gravel on the ground to rattle.

She swallowed hard, trying to calm her racing thoughts. It was clear that Valeren was somewhere overhead; where, exactly, she hadn’t a clue. She’d only have a partial second to evaluate the situation once they opened the hatch – one, maybe two arrows, tops, before they’d need to retreat. She looked at Rekard.

He was close to her right, eyes wide and fearful in the dim torch-light. He cleared his throat when he saw that she was looking at him, and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. For a moment it looked like he was about to say something, but instead he looked back down the tunnel the way they’d come. “It’s not going to be easy to run.”

“No,” she agreed. “But we have the advantage of no armor. It’ll take them a minute to find a man small enough to chase us in his armor.”

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “We’ll be okay.”

“Yeah… I’m not worried.”

“Yeah, I’m not, either,” Rek scoffed. “Obviously.”

“Obviously.” Jerica turned her back on Rek and took a deep breath, wondering if he could see through her lie as easily as she could see through his. “I think this hatch is intended to open downwards. If you open it and step to the side, I can lift myself up and look for Valeren.”

Rek stepped forward, brushing his bare shoulder against hers. “Alright. I’ll stay over here on the side until after you’ve run.”

Jerica snapped her head around to glare at him. “No, you won’t –”

“You can fire past me with your bow if someone chases us. My sword is useless if it’s trapped behind you.”

She thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Fine. But you better be right at my heels.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes and nocked an arrow. “You ready?”

“Ready when you are.”

She stepped just to the left and hooked her quiver over her left arm, then grasped both the arrow and bow in her right hand. “Let’s go kill a sorcerer then.”

Rek stepped forward and reached upward to the hatch. There were several cross-bars on this one, and the opening was larger than any of the others had been – plenty of space to climb through with a weapon, rather than needing to pass the bow through first.

“One… two… three!” Rek yanked the hatch downward suddenly.

Dirt and grass rained down on them, small pebbles scratching Jerica’s arms as they fell. She leapt forward, grabbing one of the foot-pegs near the top of the hatch and pulling herself up as her left foot found one of the pegs around waist-height off the ground. She emerged from the hole up to her mid-chest, hurriedly trying to orient herself.

The scene around her was pure chaos. Nykerians darted back and forth shouting; cries rang out from somewhere off to the right, closer to the castle, and closer to the clattering of weapons crashing into one another. She saw War Lord Femola just ahead of her by about five meters, back turned towards her.

I’ll take the bastard out and end this here. She twisted towards him, pressing her right foot against the side of the tunnel to stabilize herself as she drew her bow.

“Sanguis!”

Her head snapped towards the left to find the source of the voice. It was just an enlistee, far enough away she wasn’t concerned. She turned back towards Lord Femola, only to find him facing her with a shield raised. She muttered a curse, twisting once again as a flurry of motion in front of her caught her eye.

Valeren.

He was tall, broad-shouldered, and grossly overweight. He waddled slightly as he came towards her, magnificent purple robes flowing as he walked and fingertips glowing dark cyan. He pointed towards her with his glowing hand. “Ylanmo—”

She loosed an arrow before he could get his incantation out. The tip struck the base of his jaw and cut through the flesh until it lodged itself in the roof of his mouth. He let out a guttural yelp – the arrow in his mouth glinting in the sunlight before becoming coated in crimson blood. She grabbed another arrow from the quiver and knocked it then sent the second shaft into his Adam’s apple.

“SANGUIS!”

Jerica reached for another arrow, looking back towards where she’d last seen Lord Femola. He was nearly to her now, shield still blocking any shot she might have had at him. The soldiers were beginning to press nearer to her, the nearby men all realizing that the threat was within their formation rather than in front of them.

“Archers!” Lord Femola bellowed.

Jerica stepped off the peg she was standing on. Her back slid down the slime on the wall as she leapt to the ground. She met Rek’s eyes for the briefest moment. “Run!”

She turned down the tunnel and lunged forward. She slipped on the damp floor, sliding into the wall for a few panicked steps as she scrambled forward. She caught her footing and sprinted as fast as she could in the narrow tunnel.

Arrows clattered in the tunnel behind them.

“Rek?” she screamed over her shoulder.

“Good!” he called back. “Keep going!”

They sprinted until they got to the first metal door. Jerica got to it first and stepped to the side, grabbing the edge and slamming it shut the instant Rek was through. He grabbed the first cross bar and secured it in place as she grabbed the second one.

Jerica cackled, falling back against the wall and rubbing her face. Her heart was racing, chest heaving for air. She let her head fall back against the cold stone, trying to still the trembling in her hands from the adrenaline pumping through her. “We did it!”

“You got Valeren?”

She nodded.

He rushed forward, throwing his arms around her. “My gods, you’re incredible!”

She laughed again, patting his shoulder then stepping away. “I almost got Femola too, but I couldn’t get a shot.”

“Hey, you got what we came for.”

“True enough,” Jerica agreed, starting back down the path. “Let’s get out of here.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Jerica and Rek found Zaire just where they’d left him, and together the three of them started back towards the monastery, securely fastening each door and hatch they came to behind them. They walked with high spirits, congratulating themselves for a job well done, and got back to the entrance of the tunnel quickly.

“Teryn!” Zaire called as they approached the opening. “We’re back!”

“Great!” Teryn’s face appeared over the opening of the tunnel. “Hand up your weapons and I can help you up.”

Rek held his sword up for Teryn to take, then climbed up the pegs leading out of the tunnel. Zaire stepped to the side, out of the way. “After you, General.”

Jerica reached her bow through the opening, grabbing the spike to climb out.

“JER, NO!” Rek shouted.

She grabbed for her bow, but Teryn yanked it out of reach. “Climb the rest of the way out of the tunnel. Now.”

Jerica hesitated a moment, turning a suspicious glare on Zaire.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Zaire shouted.

“Shut up!” Teryn bellowed. “Get up here, whore, or I’ll kill him, I swear on the gods.”

“Rek?”

“He has my sword.”

“COME UP NOW I WON’T SAY IT AGAIN,” Teryn screamed.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming.”

A knot was stuck in Jerica’s throat, making it hard to swallow back the fear as she slowly ascended into the monastery. Teryn was holding Rek’s own sword against his neck. Rek looked at Jerica as she emerged, hands raised.

“Nice and slow,” Teryn ordered.

“Alright.”

“Get over there, on your knees,” Teryn said, gesturing at the ground. “Hands where I can see them.”

“Alright.” Jerica held her hands up. Her quiver still hung from her left forearm, resting in the crook of her elbow.

“Put the arrows down!” he screamed, eyes flashing with a mixture of fear and anger.

“Alright,” she said soothingly. “I can’t do anything with the arrows. You’re safe.”

“No one is safe until you’re dead,” he snarled. He whipped his attention back on the hole as Zaire emerged. “NOT YOU! BACK IN THE TUNNEL!”

Zaire’s gaze flicked towards Jerica.

“Does she look like she’s in control of this situation?” Teryn growled. “IN THE TUNNEL NOW, OLD MAN!”

Jerica nodded silently, setting the quiver on the ground just away from her knees as she knelt. She raised her hands again as Zaire lowered himself into the tunnel. Teryn turned his gaze on Rek. “Seal the entrance.”

Rek stepped forward slowly and obeyed, pushing the podium back into place on top of the hatch. Teryn stepped towards Jerica, pressing the tip of the sword against her neck. She lifted her chin, looking into his eyes.

He looked young, afraid and angry as he glowered down at her. His facial features were soft; naïve. He clenched his jaw. “You’re a monster.”

“Why are you doing this?” Jerica asked, making her voice as soothing as possible. “Let’s talk about—”

“I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!” Teryn spat. “You’re nothing but lies and hatred! The world will be better without you in it.”

“Be that as it may…” Jerica said carefully. Her head felt light, knot in her throat pressing against the tip of his blade as she tried to swallow. “You know what happens when I die…”

“I don’t care.”

“You’re young,” Jerica said. “Got your whole life ahead of you. There’s no point in sacrificing your own life to end mine.”

“My life is over no matter what I do,” he said, voice bitter. “If I don’t kill you, I’ll be executed. If I do, your aura will strike me down. That method seems faster – and with any luck will kill the old bastard down there too.”

“Think about what you’re doing.”

“Oh, I have,” he answered. He pulled the sword back, swinging it towards her neck. She dodged under the blade, whirling around to kick the back of his knees as she grabbed an arrow from the quiver. He brought his blade down towards her as he fell, desperately searching for a mark to sink the sword into.

She grabbed his sword arm, twisting as they fell so that he was only partially on top of her. She brought her left hand up, grasping the arrow for dear life, and plunged it into his throat with her bare hands. 


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Sun Sep 20, 2020 8:29 am
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Vincian wrote a review...



Hey Shady!! Another quick review for you :D hope you're still doing Team Tortoise at the moment :D onto the piece

For the first paragraph, I think it might be better worded this way:

"The muffled sounds of warfare above (<--this part you could add the shouts of battle and clanging of armor if you'd like) thudded on the earthen ceiling, every so often sifting dirt and dust onto Jerica and the others". What I like about this here is it gives a bit more action to the scene that directly involves Jerica (the sifting dust and dirt) with keeping the warsounds more on the background. Also, this would get rid of the passive verbage on the "were muffled" part.

Honestly, I liked this part! I have to say, the execution of Valeran felt a bit easy, but I honestly didn't mind. It was clear he was never meant to be a major character with how you described him in earlier chapters. I'm far more interested as to why Teryn betrayed Jerica and the others? Maybe Valeran's influence is more widespread than was previously thought, and he could be manipulating Teryn, even beyond death, if he's dead.

I wish I have a bit more information about why Teryn did what he did in this chapter, even just a tid bit to allude to the future regarding this. I read through some of the other reviews and, while I agree that it might have been a little rushed, I think it was less a problem with this chapter part and more a problem with how you set him up, like melli said in her review. I think a pretty simple solution, however, (instead of rewriting this chapter lol which is what you said you were doing) is just tie Valeran into Teryn backstabbing them and keep his presence around somewhat in the next few chapters. This would actually make him a force along the same lines as Jerica because of what happens to her when she dies.

I really liked the writing here. It was nice to see Rek's relationship with Jerica with their quibbles and stuff like that. Okay, HOPE THIS HELPED!! I will read more in the future




ShadowVyper says...


THANKS FOR THE REVIEW



Vincian says...


UR WELCOME

i hope u will have more to say on the revamp revamp chapter c:



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Sat Sep 19, 2020 10:01 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Ok, I'm gonna try and catch up with these so here we go!

but were still clear enough to make Jerica’s stomach feel like there were slugs in it.

Wow, interesting description, although I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you trying to show that she's upset or scared?

“You can fire past me with your bow if someone chases us. My sword is useless if it’s trapped behind you.”

A very valid point, but Rek you're not the protagonist here which means you might die so be careful!

I’ll take the bastard out and end this here. She twisted towards him, pressing her right foot against the side of the tunnel to stabilize herself as she drew her bow.

Pretty sure you're supposed to be looking out for Valeren here Jerica.

Valeren.

Ah, yep... there he is!

The tip struck the base of his jaw and cut through the flesh until it lodged itself in the roof of his mouth. He let out a guttural yelp – the arrow in his mouth glinting in the sunlight before becoming coated in crimson blood. She grabbed another arrow from the quiver and knocked it then sent the second shaft into his Adam’s apple.

Oh wow, that was way easier than I assumed it would be... he didn't even really fight back?
Also, wonderful description in this paragraph. Wonderful, but horrifying.

“Hand up your weapons and I can help you up.”

Hmmm that's always a suspicious sentence. Never give your weapons to the new guy.

“Shut up!” Teryn bellowed. “Get up here, whore, or I’ll kill him, I swear on the gods.”

Rats.

“You know what happens when I die…”

“I don’t care.”

“You’re young,” Jerica said. “Got your whole life ahead of you. There’s no point in sacrificing your own life to end mine.”

A nice subtle way of introducing the mystery here.

She dodged under the blade, whirling around to kick the back of his knees as she grabbed an arrow from the quiver. He brought his blade down towards her as he fell, desperately searching for a mark to sink the sword into.

This particular part could be extended in my opinion to have us really feel for Jerica. It's a little more emotionless than some of the rest of the parts and I feel you could really increase the suspense and tension with some more insight into her. Perhaps her heart is racing or there's blood thumping in her ears? Or is she completely calm and collected and not worried at all?

Also, super excited that magic seems to be verbal now! I don't remember reading any of that in earlier drafts (although defo may have forgotten). It gives you a chance to develop the world a bit more and I'm psyched for that xD

That's all from me! I'll try to get to the next bit soon :)

Icy




ShadowVyper says...


Thanks so much for the review, Icy! I appreciate it! Yeah, the bit with Valeren has been pointed out to me as being too anti-climatic so I'm definitely planning on going back to revise that!

Also, you didn't forget, playing around with a verbal aspect of magic is a new thing I'm trying in this draft!



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Thu Sep 17, 2020 10:06 pm
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MissGangamash wrote a review...



Hey! Here for another review!

'clear enough to make Jerica’s stomach feel like there were slugs in it. - it's a very visceral description, I'll give you that. But I'm also a bit lost as to what feeling this is portraying? Fear? Disgust? Anxiety?

This chapter seems like it's meant to do a big 180 and she's been double crossed(?), but as I mentioned in my other reviews, I don't really know what the stakes are. I don't know what this war is about, I don't know what her side has to lose or gain. I don't know what the other side are fighting them for. I don't know what this Teryn has against her and what he wants to gain. I can't remember if their relationship was explained in the earlier chapters, but I think there needs to be a little something here to reiterate their relationship to emphasis that it is shocking that he now has a blade to her throat.

It comes across like you're aiming for drama but as I'm still unaware of context and the bigger implications of this scene, it didn't really hit me. Plus this has happened right after the quite underwhelming killing of the all powerful sorcerer that was completely unguarded and seemingly defenceless.

As mellifera has already mentioned about the arrows - my first thought was 'arrows are sharp, pretty sure she could do something with those', so it seems very odd that Teryn didn't think of this. I'm not a fighter and it seemed glaringly obvious to me.

Hope this doesn't come across too harsh, I try to give relevant constructive criticism that can actually be useful. It seems like you have a good idea of what you want to do with this story, it just needs some polishing and tweaking to get there.




ShadowVyper says...


Thanks so much for the review!



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Sat Sep 12, 2020 5:09 am
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EM8650 wrote a review...



Hey there.
OMG. I love this chapter.
you have just the right about of description to put an image into the readers mind.
They way you started the Chapter by saying,
"The shouts of battle and clanging of armor" is an excellent to get reader who are staring on this chapter to go back and read the previous ones.
However i would like to point out that armor is spelt like armour.
This is the first of your Novel / Chapter sequence i have read and i can't wait to go read the previous ones.
Overall magnificent work!
Keep it up!




ShadowVyper says...


Hi Em, thanks so much for the review! I appreciate it and I%u2019m glad you enjoyed it! Armor is actually the American way of spelling it ;)

Would you like to be added to my tag list when I post new chapters? No pressure at all!



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Fri Sep 11, 2020 9:58 pm
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mellifera wrote a review...



Shady!

You know what I'm here for, so let's get right into it, shall we?

but were still clear enough to make Jerica’s stomach feel like there were slugs in it.


oh Shady, I LOVE it, give me that viscerally horrifying description

An explosion overhead shook Jerica to her very bones, and caused the small gravel on the ground to rattle.


This isn't really an issue, just my personal opinion, but I think I'd like more if you described how the gravel shifting affected Jerica? Like: "An explosion overhead shook Jerica to her bones, and she had to catch herself from falling as the gravel rattled beneath her feet." I mean, if you were to do that (obviously this is more of a stylistic preference and you don't), I would remove "under foot" from the end of the last paragraph so you don't end two paragraphs with describing what's under her feet, but you know. Something to play around with.

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “We’ll be okay.”

“Yeah… I’m not worried.”

“Yeah, I’m not, either,” Rek scoffed. “Obviously.”


If the last two "Yeah"s had been there alone, I think it would have been fine (because they're essentially mimicking each other right now), but I'd suggest changing to top one? Even just to "of course" or changing it into a nod instead. Then there isn't so much repetition with "yeah".

wondering if he could see through her lie as easily as she could see through his.


👀

“You can fire past me with your bow if someone chases us. My sword is useless if it’s trapped behind you.”


A GOOD AND LOGICAL POINT. +5 points to Rek.

She stepped just to the left and hooked her quiver over her left arm, then grasped both the arrow and bow in her right hand.


I am probably misinterpreting this because I'm terrible at visualising, but how is she doing this if she already nocked an arrow?

Rek yanked the hatch downward suddenly


I mean, is it suddenly though if he said he was going to do it on three (also, SUDDENLY, we've talked about this shady how could you do this)

She saw War Lord Femola just ahead of her by about five meters, back turned towards her.


OH I vaguely remember him but also OH NO

I’ll take the bastard out and end this here. She twisted towards him, pressing her right foot against the side of the tunnel to stabilize herself as she drew her bow.


GO JERICA

She loosed an arrow before he could get his incantation out. The tip struck the base of his jaw and cut through the flesh until it lodged itself in the roof of his mouth. He let out a guttural yelp – the arrow in his mouth glinting in the sunlight before becoming coated in crimson blood. She grabbed another arrow from the quiver and knocked it then sent the second shaft into his Adam’s apple.


!! I love the detail?? Weird thing for me to be saying about someone getting shot in the throw twice, but you know I love my gruesome descriptions, and I'm happy to see that you're really punching with them in this draft even more than you were before.


I do want to mention though? Valeren was built up in the first chapter as being a counter to Jerica's power/ability to scare people, and though you did kind of knock that down when you said he wasn't nearly as powerful as Lord Biryn, this still seems like a dissatisfying conclusion to this particular thread. I know you have to tie it up quickly, but I would paint it then, from the beginning, as a sorcerer who could disrupt their (the Atraians) forces and be a problem, but not as a foil to Jerica. You showed Jerica's strength well and why she's feared by the Nykerians, but all we get to see Valeren do is poof some smoke and then die. You could paint it as the Atraians being averse to magic (though practical enough to know they need to use it to their own benefit, in the sense that they have Lord Biryn) and not wanting the anomaly of a magic-user coming through to throw the fight in any way, but I think the emphasis on Valeren being this super tough, strike-fear-into-the-hearts-of-men image doesn't fit with his purpose in the plot.


fingertips glowing dark cyan


the dark incarnation of alliyah

Her back slid down the slime on the wall as she leapt to the ground.


This sounds...really wonky? "She slid down the slimy wall until she hit the ground" is fine, but this makes it sound like Jerica's back is like, disconnected from her body or something lol.

She turned down the tunnel and lunged forward. She slipped on the damp floor, sliding into the wall for a few panicked steps as she scrambled forward.


Repetition of forward! I think the last sentence would be better served as "She slipped on the damp floor, narrowly catching herself on the wall as she skidded for a few steps, before she righted herself." Or, you know, however you would choose to go about that.

Ylanmo—


I know I'm going back, but I actually realised I think this is the first time you've written magic as a verbal incantation?? MAYBE I'VE GOT A TERRIBLE MEMORY but I feel like whenever magic was brought up, there was never verbal components? (this is still Vim, yeah?) It's really cool to see you're starting to experiment with it here!

“You got Valeren?”

She nodded.

He rushed forward, throwing his arms around her. “My gods, you’re incredible!”

She laughed again, patting his shoulder then stepping away. “I almost got Femola too, but I couldn’t get a shot.”

“Hey, you got what we came for.”

“True enough,” Jerica agreed, starting back down the path. “Let’s get out of here.”


This is a very sweet moment (that I'm not accustomed to in your particular works 👀) and I greatly approve of it <3

“Great!” Teryn’s face appeared over the opening of the tunnel. “Hand up your weapons and I can help you up.”


what a suspicious thing to say? they haven't need to not have their weapons at any other point in the tunnel? I have a Bad Feeling

She grabbed for her bow, but Teryn yanked it out of reach. “Climb the rest of the way out of the tunnel. Now.”


hmm

“COME UP NOW I WON’T SAY IT AGAIN,” Teryn screamed.


I don't think you need to say he screamed since the dialogue is already in caps which, you know. Usually suggests screaming, in my experience. (I might also put a period or exclamation mark between "now" and "I" and just an exclamation mark at the end with no dialogue tag)

I can’t do anything with the arrows.


I mean,,,,

She brought her left hand up, grasping the arrow for dear life, and plunged it into his throat with her bare hands.


,,,you could stab him with it



so those rangers are really trustworthy, huh?


I think one of my main thoughts was that I would have liked to see a Little hinting of Teryn's pending betrayal? Just something small, like him watching Jerica oddly or avoiding eye contact or something. I know there's a natural aversion to letting the reader in on any sort of plot twists, but building groundwork for them are usually ingredients for really good twists (someone described it as "the point of a twist is to enrich a story, not to feel superior for outsmarting your audience" which is not as applicable here because I don't think you're trying to outsmart anyone, but like, being able to guess a twist is not a bad thing is what I'm trying to say? I know it FEELS like it is, as a writer, but it just means you've set up a good foundation for it to be believeable)

this was a very long-winded explanation for one simple critique, I'm sorry you have to read a novel just to see a review on your own xD


ALSO I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE JERICA-EXPLODES-IF-YOU-KILL-HER THING!! I'm very excited because it feels so fresh again. NOT EXCITED FOR JERICA TO EXPLODE, TO CLARIFY.


Anyway! Hopefully some of that rambling was helpful! you know I'm always here for brainstorming if you have any questions about anything I said!

I hope you have an awesome day, and Happy RevMo!

Image




ShadowVyper says...


Thank you so much for the review! Super helpful, as always!

Arghhhhh I missed the suddenly lol. I actively resisted using it in like 4 different places because I remembered, I REMEMBERED you saying to nix it, and then slipped up here xD

I... ahhh... so I was envisioning something like this:

Image

Where the arrow is nocked but she's holding it with one hand?? Do you have a suggestion to make it clearer??

And yes! Incantation! So... I am still experimenting with my magic system, but I'm trying to develop two separate ones? So like... sorcerers actually use incantations and summon evil spirits to do their bidding, where the Vim is just harnessing the natural energy of the universe. So generally sorcerers are really feared and also looked down upon, where Rangers are like hey okay yeah Vim this is useful, not toying with the spirit realm here, we all chill, if that makes sense? Still working on trying to develop it, but, yeah, trying to work it into this draft better!

I fully agree with what you said about Teryn needing more foreshadowing... I... might have had a random idea while I was writing this chapter to have him be a traitor which I didn't originally have planned lol I'll definitely go back and edit a bit on the next revision!



mellifera says...


Arghhhhh I missed the suddenly lol. I actively resisted using it in like 4 different places because I remembered, I REMEMBERED you saying to nix it, and then slipped up here xD


HEY but that's four times you dIDN'T use suddenly and only once that you did! and honestly like, I'm guilty of it too (and also it's not ALWAYS bad, I use it for transitions sometimes or like, tonal shifts).

Where the arrow is nocked but she's holding it with one hand?? Do you have a suggestion to make it clearer??


I mean, possibly "She switched the bow over to her right hand, keeping her finger over the relaxed, but nocked arrow"??? Again, I mean that genuinely when I say I'm garbage at visualising things, so it could be clear to everyone else and I was just like Image

omg that's really cool!! I'm hyped to see how you play with that!!!

ahaha what a mood though. sometimes things just hit you on the spot! that happens to me all the time, especially my fantasy projects.

<333



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Vil wrote a review...



First Impression
Holy sh--

What I Dislike

The shouts of battle and clanging of armor overhead were muffled by the dirt between the troops above and the tunnel below, but were still clear enough to make Jerica’s stomach feel like there were slugs in it.

While detailed, I think this first sentence is unnecessarily long.

You have "Yeah..." at the start of three sentences in a row.

What I Like
Death.

Lots of death.

Gory, bloody death.

Me likes :)

Characters
Jerica is still my favorite. I kinda want to know more about the dead sorcerer who's name I already forgot. Teryn needs to die, and Zaire is pretty interesting.

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!




ShadowVyper says...


Thanks for the super speedy review! I appreciate it!




Defeat has its lessons as well as victory.
— Pat Buchanan