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Young Writers Society



A Fleeting Eternity - Chapter Thirteen

by Shady


The day suddenly seemed much hotter than it had when Ky was riding inside the carriage. Tadaaki kept the horses at the unrelenting trot they’d been traveling at, forcing Ky to maintain a slow jog to be able to keep up. The length of rope securing her to the carriage was short, forcing her to stay close.

She sprinted as close to the carriage as she could, giving her an extra second before the rope was pulled tight, and bent down to try to untie the knots around her ankles. It would be easier if she could simply work on the end tied off to the carriage, but Aleth had been careful to ensure that it was out of her reach. Her ankles would have to do.

If only she could get her legs free, she could run into the woods that lined either side of the path and disappear. Aleth and Tadaaki might be stronger, but she was quick, and would have the element of surprise on her side.

Ky developed a rhythm of nearing the carriage, bending down for a moment to work at the knot, and then popping back upright to keep pace. She was getting so close. She’d worked one of the knots loose, and had almost gotten her finger through a loop she was making in the second knot. She needed just one more –

She yelped as suddenly the rope went taut, yanking her off her feet. It surprised her more than hurt, until the carriage continued to jostle down the path, rocks digging into her back. Aleth stuck his head out the window and looked down at her with a faux pity. “You’d better either figure out how to get up, or tell me your father’s name, soon – if you want any flesh left on your back.”

Ky clamped her mouth shut. Aleth smirked and disappeared inside the carriage. She grunted as a large rock in the path dug into her back, stripping the skin raw. Ky used her abdominal muscles to throw herself forward, trying to get her footing.

Instead, she ended up on her right side, still being dragged along, small gravel scraping her arms and face as the horses never slowed their pace. She put her hands under her chest and pushed, hard, stumbling forward as she finally got half-way to her feet. She stumbled forward several steps, finally recovering her balance.

She took a deep breath and forced herself to keep running, unable to take a break to catch her breath after the exertion of finding her footing once more. Her entire back stung, and the arm of her tunic was torn, revealing scratched that dribbled blood onto the fabric. Sweat dripped off her neck and soaked the collar of her tunic.

She’d never been so exhausted in her entire life.

The muscles in her legs felt so tight. Her breaths came in puffs and gasps, and yet the exertion fueled her defiance. If Aleth meant to turn this into a battle of wills, he’d picked the wrong ego to challenge. She was just as stubborn as she was strong.

Aleth stuck his head out every hour or so to gloat or ask if she’d changed her mind, and each time he did he was met with a glare and a venomous silence. When the carriage pulled to the side of the road, Ky’s legs felt rubbery, making it hard to stand. She put her hand on the back of the carriage to steady herself, entire body trembling, panting as she watched Aleth climb out of the carriage.

The hot afternoon sun had soaked all of the layers of clothes she had on with sweat, not leaving so much as a single inch of her dry. The blood on her tunic had dried and crusted over, but there was still a smear on her arm from the sweaty tunic irritating the scratches.

Aleth wrinkled his nose as he approached and untied her ankles. “You stink.”

“Yea, verily,” Ky agreed sarcastically, still panting to catch a breath.

Aleth opened the chest strapped to the back of the carriage, pulling out the bundle of clothes Tadaaki must have stashed there for her. He thrust the bundle into Ky’s hands, along with a bar of soap and a towel, and then gestured over the hill to their left. “Go wash in the stream.”

Ky hesitated, looking between the stream and Aleth. Bathing had started out as – and continued to be – one of the most difficult parts of maintaining her persona. There was a small stream that twisted through the palace grounds and she would occasionally go for swims there, fully clothed, to clean herself and her clothes. But otherwise there didn’t seem to be a good way to balance pretending to be male with staying clean.

“I’m not going to peek.” Aleth rolled his eyes. “I thought we already established that your type doesn’t excite me. Now go. Wash.”

Ky walked down the hill, casting another glance back towards Aleth and Tadaaki. They were still marginally in view, but neither was looking in her direction. She knew there wasn’t a chance he’d let her go off out of sight – and she did need a bath, so this would have to be good enough for the moment.

She stripped off her sweaty clothes and got into the cool water. It chilled her as it swirled by, but the sensation of actually being allowed to take a proper bath once more was thrilling. Usually she either bathed without soap, or simply used the lye sediments that servants pretended was soap. It’d been years since she’d been entrusted with a real bar of soap.

She dried off quickly and dressed herself in the clean clothes from the bundle. She knelt on the bank and began wrapping her sweaty clothes the same way she’d wrapped the bundle the first time. She grabbed her copies of the Book and started to wrap them inside the bundle again, and then thought better of it. Instead, she glanced up the hill at Aleth and Tadaaki to ensure they still weren’t watching, and then unfolded the papers and began to read in the dimming light as the last rays of sunlight were dying in the sky.

Her eyes landed on the words she’d read over and over during her time at the castle. Bless those that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She needed to forgive Aleth – whether he deserved it or not.

She was a Follower, and she needed to act like it, regardless of the terrible treatment she was being subjected to. The Father surely knew what was happening, and He was in control. Aleth would get his just recompense. She just had to trust and obey.

Ky closed her eyes and silently prayed, begging for the strength and patience she would need to survive her time with Aleth. He might be able to separate her from Alcan and Rifkin and Broer – but the Father was something he could never take away from her.

“Ky!” Aleth’s voice cut the time short. “I don’t hear anything down there!”

“I’m here.” Ky’s eyes snapped open. She quickly folded the papers, and shoved them into her pocket, afraid that the sweat from her bundle would damage the papers if she wrapped them back up.

“Well you should be up here.”

“Coming!” She grabbed the bundle of dirty clothes and walked back up the hill.

Aleth was kneeling beside a fire he’d started in the center of the dirt road, back towards her as she approached. Directly in front of him was a stone cliff-face, and up the road to the left was a small clearing where Tadaaki was readying the horses for the evening.

She glanced between the men, wondering which one she should approach. Her instincts urged her to go help with the horses – it’d be the natural thing to happen now, readying the horses for sleep before she readied herself. And yet, a small voice in her mind figured Aleth would want her to go to him for orders. She took a deep breath and walked towards the fire, tossing her bundle of clothes down off to the right.

Aleth stood. “Come here.”

Ky hesitated a moment. Aleth raised his eyebrows, challenging her to disobey, and took a threatening step towards her. Ky instinctively took a step backwards, closer to the cliff, trying to distance herself from him. Aleth stepped forward swiftly and grabbed her wrists, slamming her against the cliff, and then pinning her hands over her head.

He stood uncomfortably close, using his own body to keep hers pressed against the bare rock behind her. She cowered, entire body tense, eyes fixed on the shoulder of his tunic. “What do you want from me?”

“I want control,” Aleth hissed. He squeezed her wrists even tighter. “I want complete and instant obedience. You will do exactly what I say, exactly when I say it, and it will be so natural that you don’t even think before obeying.”

Ky fearfully looked up at his face, tears welling up in her eyes. His pupils were dilated, teeth clenched, brow covered in sweat as he glared down at her. She looked away again. He shook her, forcing her gaze back towards his face.

“You’re mine now,” he said. “You’re my little pet, and you can consider this the training period, to get you housebroken. You’ll find I’m not a cruel master if you obey – I don’t kick my dogs for the fun of it – but if you think you can defy me, I will discipline.”

Aleth held her for a moment longer, then released his grasp. She stood trembling, rubbing her smarting wrists, fear cutting off whatever comeback she might have had. She didn’t want to be his. She didn’t want to be trained. All she wanted was a warm meal and a good sleep.

“What’s in your pocket?”

Ky’s eyes snapped back to his face. His gaze was locked on her right pocket.

“Nothing,” Ky said quickly, reaching down to smooth the pocket. She could feel the edge of the paper barely peeking out above the top of her pocket.

Aleth’s right hand darted out, wrapping around her neck and slamming her against the cliff once more. To her surprise, he didn’t choke her. Instead, he reached out with his other hand and snatched the paper from her pocket, then released her, turning his back as he unfolded it and tipped it towards the firelight to read.

“A Follower,” Aleth said slowly. “Well you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

Ky stood behind him, watching tensely as he looked through her few scraps of paper. It’d taken her months of work to get her own copy of the Book. Few people had even a fraction of the number of verses she’d copied down, and it would take ages to get her hands on another copy if he took these from her.

“It’s a pity you don’t know how to read…” Aleth said slowly, voice smug. “I’m sure these would be important to you if you knew what they said.”

As suddenly as he’d snatched them, he tossed them into the fire.

“No!” Ky dove forward as the flames instantly engulfed the paper. She’d risk burns for the sake of getting the verses back.

Aleth lurched forward just as quickly, throwing his arm out to block her path. His forearm slammed against her chest, hand curling around her side and giving her a swift push backwards. By the time she’d recovered her balance, the paper was nothing more than a flake of black ash in the edge of the fire.

Aleth bent down next to the fire pit and picked up a plate of food he’d put together.

Ky stood in a dazed silence, staring at the remains of the Book, a deep rage throbbing through her on a visceral level. She’d felt as angry as she had the day Borrond stabbed her father, all those years ago. Every fiber of her being screamed for revenge. She didn’t need safety; didn’t need his good favor. She needed to make clear what she thought of him.

Without a second thought, she lunged towards him. 


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Wed May 13, 2020 5:01 pm
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mellifera wrote a review...



Shady!!

If only she could get her legs free, she could run into the woods that lined either side of the path and disappear.


disappear into the trees and live amongst the woods. become a local myth. at least Aleth doesn't have a dragon and isn't actually kind so I wouldn't want him to find her.

She’d never been so exhausted in her entire life.


Aleth is,,, the worst. this is not new but I need to assert it once more (even though I complained about it last time).

Aleth opened the chest strapped to the back of the carriage, pulling out the bundle of clothes Tadaaki must have stashed there for her. He thrust the bundle into Ky’s hands, along with a bar of soap and a towel, and then gestured over the hill to their left. “Go wash in the stream.”


I'm very, very suspicious of this and why he's letting her go to bathe out of sight. I know he has some way of keeping her from running but I don't know what it is >:(

“I thought we already established that your type doesn’t excite me. Now go. Wash.”


but we also established you don't care??

Instead, she glanced up the hill at Aleth and Tadaaki to ensure they still weren’t watching, and then unfolded the papers and began to read in the dimming light as the last rays of sunlight were dying in the sky.


she's,,, reading while is peril? I'm glad she does have a source of comfort to turn to, especially right now, but right now still doesn't seem like The Time?

She was a Follower, and she needed to act like it, regardless of the terrible treatment she was being subjected to. The Father surely knew what was happening, and He was in control. Aleth would get his just recompense. She just had to trust and obey.


I think this is the first time you've ever shown religion in one of your novels and I'm very curious to see how it's structured and how it works!

Ky hesitated a moment. Aleth raised his eyebrows, challenging her to disobey, and took a threatening step towards her. Ky instinctively took a step backwards, closer to the cliff, trying to distance herself from him. Aleth stepped forward swiftly and grabbed her wrists, slamming her against the cliff, and then pinning her hands over her head.


OH BUT NOW WHAT'S SHE DONE??? SHE DID AS YOU ASKED ASKJDNALKFNAF

“You’re mine now,” he said. “You’re my little pet, and you can consider this the training period, to get you housebroken. You’ll find I’m not a cruel master if you obey – I don’t kick my dogs for the fun of it – but if you think you can defy me, I will discipline.”


anyway, he's disgusting and horrible.

“What’s in your pocket?”


SERIOUSLY

Instead, he reached out with his other hand and snatched the paper from her pocket, then released her, turning his back as he unfolded it and tipped it towards the firelight to read.


HMM I WONDER WHAT HE WILL DO WITH THIS PIECE OF FLAMMABLE PAPER

Without a second thought, she lunged towards him.


I WANTED A FIGHT BUT NOW RIGHT NOW

unless Tadaaki is also fed up and helps her but I suspect that Aleth has pitfulls in the instance of being attacked or killed that would make the murderer's life a living hell. On the other hand, a story about two servants murdering their master on the side of the road and escaping to try to start a new life and escape the law would be VERY EXCITING and I would LOVE TO SEE IT. I doubt very much they will overpower him though.

IT IS A DELIGHTFUL CLIFFHANGER THOUGH so I have to hand it to you!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT (the pattern of stuff like this though does lead me already to the conclusion that she's not winning this fight and will just face more abuse, but the cliffhanger is still good)


I also really like the ending paragraph describing Ky's anger. It's very good and raw and powerful, and I like how all that she's kept quietly contained is just snapping now. This is a breaking point, the last thing she held onto, and you described it very, very well.


I WILL BE BACK TOMORROW FOR MORE SHOUTING

I hope you have a lovely day <3




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Sun Mar 01, 2020 2:20 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



I see Aleth is AS CRUEL AS EVER.

You did an excellent job describing how Ky is feeling during the trek. It was very descriptive and well done, an the poor thing is just a mess. I also appreciate that she tried to escape, even though it backfired.This, once again, shows how sharp Aleth is. Most things don't get past him.

I don't know if Aleth really WANTS to know who her father is or is just using this as a means to flex his authority. Eithe rway, I DO NOT LIKE HIM. I feel like it might be a little bit of both? He understandably wants information, and therefore as much info as he can get on his own staff, but I also don't see why he would care so much about Ky's background still that he'd risk injuring her. Or even allowing her to find a way to kill herself on the road. All it would take is a large rock to knock the lights out of herself.

I am MIGHTILY impressed Aleth would serve her with her own things. That seems like an order he'd give to Tadaaki, and maybe Tadaaki would even notice the Book copy, foreshadowing what's to come. Still, I feel like her physical pain was left forgotten as the water (let alone the soap) would probably sting a bit, and her old clothes are probably no longer salvageable, from the how her experience on the trek sounded.

I just LOVE how you played this Book up though. You really did such a great job working this in so smoothly, and this is such a dramatic moment for her to lose it so swiftly. We definitely can afford to dwell on her personal feelings on the matter and less about how rare the Book is -- that kind of information can be spared earlier on when explaining why Ky was copying in the first place. That way, we come into this scene with that kind of understanding of its significance.

Also Aleth slamming her into the cliff -- OW?! Her back's chewed up from the trek and he just SLAMS HER INTO ROCKFACE LIKE THAT'S NOT GONNA HURT.

I am very concerned with how often Ky just disobeys or pushes her boundaires, like that has yet to work out for her, but she keeps doing it. I fear for her life now that she's lunging at Aleth like this. Honestly though, this also makes Tadaaki's presence REALLY useful because we can see firsthand the stark differences in treatment from Aleth. If you follow orders, you'll be fine likeTadaaki is -- he might not like it, but he's fine. If you disobey or anger him, you'll be broken like Ky. I would imagine she'll eventually *pretend* to accept her fate and just follow orders until her opportunity comes round? Unless it's against the Book to serve a master? I'm just worried about her constantly barreling nito trouble like this and falling for the next punishment so easily. It hasn't really worked out in her favor at all. ;_;

i HOPE SHE'S OKAY.




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Tue Feb 18, 2020 8:10 pm
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keystrings wrote a review...



Hello Shady C: I know I’ve been lagging in giving you reviews for this story, but I am definitely still continuing along!

I must say I always like the adventure side of most action/adventure stories, mostly because I absolutely enjoy getting descriptions of the surroundings, like the world and nature and towns and structural things. Here, the reader gets a little insight, with the fact that there are decently made common roads, save the rocks, and that there seems to be some random streams or rivers that trickle throughout the land. Environmental stuff is cool. <.<

Continuing from there, we get to the characters again! Ky has certainly fallen into a hardship, being dragged to somewhere she doesn’t want to be in, literally dragged at some points, which oof, but she does seem determined to try to get her way out of this scenario, eventually. I have a feeling though an escape probably won’t be happening too soon in this story, as I’m sure getting to the castle/new area is going to be an important thing for plot reasons. Something like religion can make a character seem more developed, and I do feel bad for Ky that her beloved papers were burnt to crisp just like that.

The only two characters really in this chapter are Aleth and Tadaaki. Aleth, of course, is this novel's traditional bad guy - he seems to care so little for Ky, doing all of these terrible things to an adolescent for no apparent reason besides wanting information, on her father and where she is from. I am curious to where this could be going, in why this info from Ky is so impertinent to Aleth. Tadaaki I’m still not too informed about, but he doesn’t seem like he will willingly stray from what Aleth wants him to do, which does not bode well for our protagonist.

Hmm. I can understand that Ky is feeling all sorts of strong emotions towards Aleth but lunging at him isn’t going to end well, oof. I think this was a good chapter though!




Shady says...


Thanks so much for the review! The fact that you're still interested to keep reading means a lot, and I appreciate this feedback! <3



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Sun Feb 16, 2020 7:38 pm
2Stareyes says...



HOW LONG TILL THE NEXT CHAPTER?!?!




Shady says...


Haha, I appreciate the enthusiasm c: Glad you're liking the story! I have another chapter that I'm ready to post, but I don't want to over-run the Green Room, so I'm waiting on a second review on this one before I post it. Hopefully soon!



2Stareyes says...


Please please post I need the next chapter today!!! I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!



Shady says...


Aha... I guess I did leave this one on a bit of a cliffhanger. Okay. I'll post the next chapter (which, I must warn you, also leaves a bit of a cliffhanger at the end) but that's all I'll post until at least this one gets out of the Green Room <3



2Stareyes says...


The green room? Ok thank you thank you thank you!



Shady says...


Thank you for the enthusiasm c: I just tagged you on the next chapter I posted!



2Stareyes says...


I just reviewed the new chapter! What is the green room?



Shady says...


Thank you! <3

So if you look at the top of the screen on the right side there's a green tab that says "Green Room" and that's where all the works that get posted go. It's intended to draw attention to works that don't have much feedback yet. So all works stay in there until they get 2 reviews, and then they get moved out. It's not really fair for me to clutter up the Green Room with multiple chapters when there are so many authors on this site, so I try to only have 1-2 chapters at a time in the Green Room. c:



2Stareyes says...


ok I asked people to review chapter 14 so that you can post more.



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Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:55 pm
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2Stareyes wrote a review...



I'M GOING TO KILL ALETH!!!!!! (Me after reading each chapter storms around the house cursing Aleth while my siblings watch on in wonder)
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her bible!! That man is a big fat bully and thinks he is so smart! If he hurts Ky one more time!!!!

My thoughts:
Ky:
OH MY GOODNESS YOU GET HIM GIRL! She has changed so much since this story began! She has come out of her shell and is really brave now! I cant believe what she puts up with!

Aleth:
THAT JERK! I would like to strangle him! He has no right to treat Ky like that! He is a first rate bully and a idiot! Discipline? DISCIPLINE NO He means abuse not discipline!

Takaaki:
He needs to protect Ky from Aleth the idiot! Or else Ky should kill him too!

Thank you for such great writing it keeps us on the edge of our seats! PLEASE WRITE MORE SOON!!!!





Look closely. The beautiful may be small.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher