Lower yourself, and descend quietly, for here is a world in desperate balance.
Look upon it with respect, as it is an elder.
So quietly standing. But yet, we must remain critical. For an air looms around it, taking caution to not be corrupted by it's foul stench.
It's glory has fallen, along with it's foundation.
The river has split, and now, all that remains is The Sunken City.
###
Stand with me. Look at the tops of the buildings. Now trace the skyline.
The architecture, it shows that there was once more.
The eloquent carvings. The clock towers. The colors have long been gone, far beyond my days.
But then, look around. There's wires. These wires... there's something hanging. Can you see it?
They're bodies. Long since when, the Sovereign had run out of places to put the bodies. What'd they do? They hung them on the power lines.
Then, now just below us, have you not noticed we're standing on a river? This river runs to the horizon, to the ends of the Earth. Yet, if we peer down stream, you see something strange. A split.
The river diverges, then runs around the city. At the far side from where we are, the rivers pour into an endless chasm.
###
Has this been short to you? Well, my time was only somewhat longer. It's now that I part. Would you call me a poet? Why, they did. Then they took my heart; my soul. Now, I am null. A figment of the past; merely a body on the wire.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
I'm so confused with this one. Is it a poem? Is it a chapter of a novel? Is it a chapter poem? Poemception.
That said. it's only because I was so confused that I read on. I like the whole fast paced-ness of this, almost as though it's like a stream of consciousness from one person to another. I felt like I was there, having someone speak to me like this, telling me where to look, asking me why I couldn't see that we were standing on a river.
I actually liked it. But I still have no idea what's happening in it. Right now, it's more of a description than an actual story.
Still though, poemception.
Kasim.
Gah... there's supposed to be whitespace between most lines... Whatever. Don't feel like playing with this stuff right now.
(I may edit later)