Young Writers Society

Author's note:

First off, this will make no sense unless you've read the other chapters, oops.

The most basic of basic recaps since I posted the first few chapters last November:

CH.1: Jean took his twin sister, Annalise, to see something he discovered. A light. One that differs from the neon blues and twinkling oranges of the luminescent mushrooms of the underground. This could prove useful to their underground society that is quickly being enveloped by the darkness around them.

CH. 2.1: Annalise asked a seemingly snotty girl named Hura to see the discovery as per Jean's request. Wonder what that's all about.

Hey, look at that! I decided to make this story into a graphic novel, hence the script-like format.

So these chapters are written with barely any descriptions, sorry if this confuses you. I'm quite loose on the format and I don't really want suggestions on how to do it properly (it works for me!).

Please ignore grammar problems, I really want feedback on dialogue, characters, what you liked vs didn't like, and/or story content. Not really looking on how to improve descriptions either. Keep in mind this story will be visual.  Thank you for reading!!

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- Later at the crystal caves

- Jean: “About time you showed up, did anyone see you leave?”

- Annalise: “Common, Jean, you know me, I’m slick as a red-bellied skink. Besides I’m like the first person here. Other than you of course. Trying to beat the rest of us here and, most importantly, Hura for some alone time I suppose?”

- Jean: “Humph-yeah, yeah, yeah. Toy with your older brother’s emotions now would ya?”

- Annalise: “Excuse me, did you say ‘older’? We are literally the same age.”

- Jean: “You know I hate it when you use that word incorrectly, Anna… We are not literally the same age. I am two minutes older. (pause for expression) For a moment in these caves, I was an only sibling. I’d go as far to say those were the best moments of my life.”

- Annalise: *rolls her eyes*

- Jean: “But yeah, you caught me gravel in hand and shovel in mouth. I was hoping Hura would get here before you, and I before everyone else. I was half expecting you and Hura to arrive together. Were’nt you on harvesting duty with’er?”

- Anna: “Sorry to tell you it’s just me. She ditched me on the way back to get food.”

- Jean: “And she’s not back yet…Maybe she’s in trouble?”

- Anna: “She’s probably too scared to go out past curfew to sneak out with lover boy again. I mean she was on mudworm duty for a long time after you two got caught. That’s just plain embarrassing.”

- Jean: “What, digging for mudworms?”

- Anna: “No, getting caught for slinking it out with you.”

- Why are you so worried?”

- Jean (embarrassed): “I’m not! I just-“

- Anna: “Why do you even give her a thought, Jean, honestly she isn’t even worth that much attention.”

- Jean: “I only think about her three times a lumimare. That’s twelve times less than usual.”

- Anna: “You clearly don’t remember that she chose to stop seeing you.”

- Jean: “I remember just fine. It’s just-well, she seems different now.”

- Anna: “Longnosed yupps seem different when they become adults, yet you are wise enough to realize their poisonous bite will strike as soon as you look away.”

- Jean: “When did you become a lecturer?”

- Anna: “I don’t know what you mean.”

- Jean: “I’m just saying that your speech is giving me flashbacks to Gennit’s speech about the importance of dusting off your goggles and I’m paying about as much attention to you as I do to her.”

- Anna: “You have a very short attention span.”

- Jean: “It’s a curse.”

- Anna: “Anyway, I’m just trying to protect you. You stopped speaking for days after what she did. And judging how much you like to talk, that was extremely worrying.”

- Jean: “I thought I was playing it cool.”

- Anna: “If by cool, you mean kicking the walls of the tumbling cave in hope that a rock would fall on your head. Then yeah, you played it very cool.”

- Jean: “My foot ached for twelve lumimares after that.”

- (pause with a shot of the cavern)

- Anna: “It doesn’t look like she’s coming. I wasn’t expecting her to anyway. When will Yuoh and Lixton arrive?”

- Jean: “They were gathering some fire mushrooms last time I saw them. You know how much Lixton loves to eat.”

- Annalise: “yeah…” pause “I’ve been thinking,” Jean looks over to her, “ maybe we shouldn’t be showing them what we’ve found.”

- Jean: “Why would you say that?”

- Anna: “Well, I don’t know…”

- Jean: “Do you expect us to just keep this to ourselves?

- Anna: “That’s not what I’m trying to say.”

- Jean: “What are you trying to say?”

- Anna: “I don’t know…What if it’s not safe?”

- Jean: “You are always playing it safe.”

- Anna: “We have to play it safe. If we make one slip up, we could be killed. Don’t you realize that?”

- Jean: …

- Anna: “I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

- Jean: (turns away from her) “It’s not your job to protect me, Annalise.”

- Anna: “Yes it is, Jean… I’m worried about you every moment you spend out in those crumbling caves. About whether or not you came back from your latest excavation, or if something happened to you. If something happened… How would I know?” [another shot] “I know how important it is for how important it is for you to dig those tunnels and clear cave ins-but… I miss you. ”

- (Jean looks down and closes his eyes in a pained expression)

- Jean: (turns his head back and walks towards her and lays a hand on her shoulder) “That’s why we needit’s so important we take this risk; if we don’t, we might as well be dead. We’ve potentially found an unending source of light. Maybe things will go back to the way they used to be…before the cave in of Illum, ya know?...The mushrooms are dimming by the minute, the luminroots go outdim just as fast as we can hang them upon our walls, and without their light… I don’t know what’ll happen.” (they share a look and Jean looks past her and his expression changes to excitement) “Yuoh, Lixton, you guys made it!”

- Lixton: “Uh-heck yeah we came, buddy. We wouldn’t miss out on a good old-fashioned adventure.” He puts his arm around Yuoh’s shoulder and shakes it enthusiastically.

- Yuoh: “Calm down, Lixton!” he turns to Jean “Sorry we’re late, it took us forever to shake Gennit off our rocks.”

- Lixton: “And you know how much I like to take my time enjoying my diner. - wait- (draws jean and Yuoh into a huddle and whispers) is that Annalise over there? (face blushes) I didn’t realize she was coming.”

- Jean: “(whispers) What do you mean by that? Of course she’s coming along!”

- Lixton: “(embarrassed) oh right, sorry… it’s just-“

- YUOHH: “(whispers) I believe Lixton was trying to say something more along the lines of: ‘I didn’t realize my one true love is accompanying us this evening. If I had been aware, I would have taken the time to dust off my lushes locks so she may be willing to be held by my muscular arms.’ Am I right?” (Lixton punches Yuoh on the arm)

- Jean: “You better watch it, Lixton, that’s my sister you’re talking about.”

- Lixton: (looks down embarrassed) “Sorry.” (Yuoh snickers softly in the background)

- Annalise: (standing with her arms crossed and with a slight anxious look) “Are we going to get a move on, or are you guys going to gossip like largemouth toads all night?”

- Yuoh: “Alright, alriiight. No need to nag, Annalise.”

- (they all walk towards Annalise, Jean stays behind)

- Jean (looks back and stops): “Wait, Hura isn’t here yet.”

- Lixton and Yuoh look at each other worryingly and Yuoh pulls Lixton down so they were face to face.

- Yuoh whispers to Lixton: “Yo-he’s still talking about Hura? How long is he going to be obsessed with her?”

- Lixton: “It’s only been less than a lumensefew Lites since….well you know.”

- Yuoh: “Yeah, but look at him, he’s whimpering like an orphaned dustrat.” They look at him. “Pathetic.” Yuoh says.

- Lixton: “He doesn’t look like he is.” Lixton looks back to Jean and Yuoh pulls him back down and points to Lixton’s heart.

- Yuoh: “Lixton, you’re looking at it all wrong. He’s not whimpering out here.” He points at his mouth. “He’s whimpering in here.” He points to Lixton’s chest. (pause while Lixton points to his own chest and furrows his brow) I think we should give him a talking to. As friends who know better.” They both turn back with their arms over each other’s shoulders. “Jean, look. We know Hura is pretty and all that, but-“

- Lixton: “She steals my willow shrooms, ALL THE TIME.”

- Yuoh: “well that and-“

- Lixton: “She’s too pretty for you.”

- Yuoh: “that’s not what I was going to say-“

- Lixton: “-Her and Unitide are like, best friends now.”

- Yuoh: “will you let me speak-?”

- Lixton: “And Unitide is like the ugliest harvester in existence and nowhere near as attractive as you.”

- Yuoh: “Calm down, Lix. Quit trying so hard you’re going to hurt yourself.” Lixton (sweating) looks as if he’s panicking with his jaw clamped. “Take a seat over there and cool off, okay?” Yuoh composes himself, “anyway, as I was saying.”

- Jean and Annalise are not even listening, but are talking to each other quietly. Yuoh: “Uhh-hello?”

Annalise places a hand on Jean’s shoulder and they nod heads as if agreeing on something. “Alright, we’re leaving.” Annalise says.

- Yuoh: “But I was about to give an awe-inspiring speech to Jean.”

- Jean: “Don’t worry, Annalise already straightened me out.” Yuoh scrunches his shoulders angrily and Lixton pops up his head in the background, confused. Y:(>_<) L:(O.O) [

- Jean looks visibly embarrassed, “Hey,” he walks over to them “I appreciate it guys.”

- Lixton: “Did you hear what we said?”

- Jean: “Well-“he circles his hands as if trying to come up with something. “I’m sure it was… supportive.” They give him a look and Jean puts his hands up defensively and they follow Annalise out of the room. Lixton and Yuoh look at eachother, Lixton still confused as to what’s happening, Yuoh with his shoulders slouched and an annoyed expression.

- ( climbing through a tunnel, revisit some of the other scenes from the first chapter)

- (they go across an underground river with Jean leading the way)

- Lixton: “Wait a second.” He stops and looks around. “This tunnel leads towards the chamber of monuments.”

- Jean: “So what?”

- Yuoh: “Scared of getting in trouble, Lixton?”

- Lixton: “Yes-I mean no- I mean…” He scratches his head “I thought that area was strictly forbidden that’s all”

- Jean: “It sure is, and the best part of that is, no one can catch us…” He climbs over a rock, “Since no one’s there to begin with.” He turns and helps Annalise over while Lixton is speaking.

- Lixton: “There may not be anyone there now, but” He looks around wearily. “We could be followed.”

- Yuoh: “you clearly don’t know who’s in your company.” He gestures to himself and makes a confident, sly smirk. “I think I’d know if we were being followed.” He climbs up some rocks, “I can hear a Slumoth’s wings fluttering from three tunnels way.” He holds up three fingers, his expression is arrogant/ waiting for a challenge.

- Annalise: “Right. The scouts only go as far as the crystal cave anyway. Besides, there hasn’t been any known escapes recently, so I’m assuming the guards think everyone’s asleep by now and decided to take the night off.”

- Lixton: “Well, what if they didn’t and they saw us.”

- Jean: “Don’t worry about it, bud. No one in their right mind would sneak out when they weren’t supposed to.” He smirks.

- Yuoh: “If you were so worried, why’d you even come along?”

- Lixton makes a slight pouting face.

- Lixton: Looking at Yuoh. “I dunno, I just go along with whatever you do.”

- [in the background]Yuoh puts a hand on his chest (or makes a heart with his hands sarcastically) and appears moved. Lixton smiles/laughs endearingly.

- Annalise: “It’s too late to turn around. You should have had your doubts before at the crystal cave.”

- [more shots of them moving through caves until they reach the chamber of monuments]

- Lixton: looks up in awe at the mural at the back of the chamber. Two beasts swirl around each other in apparent harmony. On one side of the room, statues of magnificent animals sit proudly and small statues of animals flow from underneath. On the other side, mountains, plains and waterfalls create a miniature landscape “Whoaaaa. Looks at those creatures! How do people think up this sort of stuff?” He points to the mountains, “What are those things?”

- Jean: “Obviously their just stalagmites, look.” He pointed at slowly dripping water. “What else would they be?”

- Yuoh: hanging off a statue of a bull-like creature. “Hey Jean- this place is cool and all, but is it what you were going to show us ? Cuz, not to brag, but I’ve already seen it.”

- Lixton: “You went here without me?” Yuoh shrugs.

- Annalise: Goes over to Yuoh “Get off there! You’re going to break it!”

- Yuoh: “ugh…Whatever. It’s practically falling apart anyway.”

- Jean: “Guys, common this way!” Yuoh slides off the beast.

- Annalise gets a better look at the creature, and, squinting, looks it in the eyes. Annalise goes over to Jean. [shot of the dog head seen earlier with Annalise in the background.] [next shot, it crumbles into pebbles]

- Annalise heads towards the tunnel but hears something from the chamber (rock falling) looks back to the tunnel, then towards the sound. “Did you guys hear that?”

- Jean: looks back “Common Annalise, this isn’t the time for worrying.” She walks into the chamber wearily. Looks around then at the statues. They are all still facing forward except for one, the bull [the beast of aria]. Get a shot of its face. Annalise and the bull make eye contact. Annalise looks confused and slightly disturbed. She hears another rock fall and looks towards it for a second. She looks back and the statue is facing forward again. She sees a head duck down behind some rocks. Annalise walks towards the head.

- Annalise: “Hello?” she goes over and she finds Hura who looks angry at being caught. “Hura? What are you doing here?”.”?” She looks around “Were you following us?”

- Hura: pouting, “Maybe.”

- Annalise: suddenly uncomfortable, unbelieving, “why were you… hiding…?”

- Hura: “I don’t like talking to any of you face to face if I don’t have to.”

- Annalise: “Uh-huh. Is that all?”

- Hura: “…I was curious alright? And I can’t stand to see Jean again after-” Annalise looks annoyed.

- Jean: popping out from the tunnel, “Annalise, you won’t believe this-” he stops and his expression changes. Hura meets his gaze. “H-hura?” He goes over and helps her to her feet with an awed expression, Hura seems uncomfortable but complies. They hold hands for a moment too long and Hura pulls her hands away. Annalise appears annoyed.

- Annalise: “She’s been following us.”

- Jean: ignoring Anna, “It’s good to see you again, Hura.” Hura looks away shyly and Jean smiles. “I think the last time I saw you, you were being dragged off by TuiaGennit.”

- Hura: “Well, you know how she is.” She brushes a strand of hair from her face. “A harvester and a digger together, and alone? That’s against protocol.”

- Jean: “I never cared what the rules said.” Hura looks away and he smiles.

- Annalise: whispers “Yeah, you never cared, but someone couldn’t overlook the rules.” Hura glares at her.

- Hura: “I didn’t want to leave you like that.”

- Jean: Jean smiles sadly. “But, you still did.”

- Hura: “I did what was good for my- I mean- for both our sakes.” She looks flustered. “If we had continued to see each other, the consequences would have been… severe.... like get your fingers crushed by rocks severe. TuiaGennit told me I need to concentrate on my work or I’ll be condemning everyone to darkness and starvation.”. I was only trying to protect myself.” Jean looks down then to Annalise.

- Jean: “I was willing to keep trying despite the risks.” Shot of Jean looking at Hura and Hura looking away ashamedly.

- Annalise: Trying to change the subject, “Why don’t you show me what you saw Jean?

- Jean: “Oh-yeah of course.” Hura takes a step forward.

- Annalise: to Jean only “Why doesn’t Hura just stay behind?”

- Jean: “She can come if she wants.” He looks behind him sadly while walking towards the tunnel. Hura gives Annalise a snide smirk.

- Annalise goes through the tunnel and gasps [the once dark cavern is now fully illuminated] Jean squints and shields his eyes.

- Anna: “Look at that! The light…grew!” Jean smiles at Annalise mischievously.

- Hura: “WHAT IS THAT??”

- Yuoh and Lixton are near the entrance [Lixton is peaking through the entrance of the tunnel]

- Yuoh: turns around“There you guys are! What took ya so long-“he sees Hura and his expression changes. “Oh, ok, so Hura’s here now. That’s a thing. Uhh- hellooooo Hura, long time no see...”

- Lixton: (has been covering his face with his hands the whole time) “Are they back, Yuoh? My eyes hurt too much to open.” He reaches for Yuoh, “be my eyes.”

- Yuoh nudges Lixton: “Obviously their back-“ notices his hands. “What are you doing Lixton? Stare into the light like a man.”

- Lixton: shakes his head

- Yuoh: “Quit doing your impression of a wholly toadsneer.” Yuoh goes over to him and pulls him to his feet.

- Lixton peeks out and shades the light from his eyes. “Ok ok. Look, I’m staring right at it now, like a man. Are you satisfied?”

- Yuoh: “Not until you go towards the light.”

- Lixton: “No way!...” they exchange a look. Lixton looks at the light “Okay, but only if you go with me.”

- Hura: “This is why I tried to avoid all contact with you guys.” They all stare at the light for a few moments dumbfounded.

- Annalise: “Let’s find out what’s creating all this light and take it back to the Centrumbole…” looks around as if embarrassed for saying so much/being the center of attention. “uhh. Don’t you think?” She looks at Jean. No one moves.

- Jean: takes a step towards the light. “Common guys, it’s not like it’s going to hurt us…” He puffs his lips with his hands on his hips. “Probably….” He looks at them and smiles. He begins climbing the pile of rocks and the rest of the group wearily makes their way towards him.