a writer's statement.

by Serendipity

Published May 29, 2009

a writer’s statement.

rectangular rhythms fill these pages
underlining a deep cause,
drenched in blood, sweat or
just spilled ink.

ripped corners wear at my heart
torn feelings of lust and loss,
emotions incognito.

I write my words cutting through the lines of the page,
So every letter has to fight for recognition.
Some may overlap but only until their purpose made clear.

I write to stay alive.
I write to remind myself I am alive.
I write to tell my story
and to not tell my story.

and I don’t write for you I write for me.

Comments & reviews · 6
User avatar
Kaylyn
Review
Kaylyn wrote a review Review · May 31, 2009

I have to agree with the previous, the last line does seem a bit rushed. The last two lines of the first stanza seem a bit cliche to me. This poem definately has potential. I love the first line of the poem and can find absoluetly nothing wrong with it. Your other stanzas are fine from what I can see. Your third stanza is my favorite. :) So keep writing, good luck with your poem, and if you would like any more reviews, PM me.

~Kaylyn

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Juniper
Review
Juniper wrote a review Review · May 31, 2009

Hi there, June here!

I think this is pretty nicely written. I really like the bottom line of this, but the images of blood, frustration and angst that are used here kind of throws us off, because you've kind of got the potential here to make this absolutely unique. Having all of these overused themes to based on your bottom line kind of makes this seem worn out and overused.

The first stanza here is invariably my favorite; it's introducing this all, and we're not sure what to expect.

After the first stanza, we're pretty used to the ideas, dear, and kind of just swimming with the flow. Nice job on that, dear.


As April mentioned, the first stanza seems a bit rushed, but! It's almost as if you're hurrying to get that message out-- I find that most definitely rubbing off as positive rather than the slightest bit of negative.


Nice job on this. ^_^ Keep it up.


Juniper

User avatar
music
Review
music wrote a review Review · May 31, 2009

I loved it. It really describes the life of a writer. In contrast to what April *peanutgallery007* said, I actually loved the last part.

and I don’t write for you I write for me.

I would take out the and though. It sounds so much better without the and. Great poem.

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Red_Star_Girl
Review
Red_Star_Girl wrote a review Review · May 30, 2009

I am inclined to agree with April here, the last stanza is a bit rushed almost, like you wanted to finish it so didn't put an awful lot of thought into the ending, the rest of it is really good though.

For me there was a bit to much use of the words "I" and "and", sometimes when writing it is all too easy to express ourselves thought the word "I" but it can be more powerful sometimes if you take yourself directly out of it in the sense of using "l" and "me" and such :-) Just an idea though.


So every letter has to fight for recognition.



I really liked this line, it's powerful, and really good use of imagery. It sums up what writing is about, and to me suggests like every letter is just as important in the bigger picture.

Good work thought :-)

Star xx

peanutgallery007 wrote a review Review · May 30, 2009

Hello Serendipity ^_^

Okay, I found the last stanza to be sloppy, no offense. The line you stuck on the end of the poem was unneeded. Also, I would try to organize the last stanza a bit more...

but I loved this poem. It was so flat- out and and straight forward. I loved it.

Also! I loved the fact that your lines varied in length. A lot of times, people epically pail at line variation and control, but this was awesome. Perfect job ;)

I've written about this topic many times on my NaPoWriMo thread. Just in case you are interested.

Again, wonderful job, but I would work on that last stanza, and perhaps get rid of that last throw in line;

and I don’t write for you I write for me.

It just repeated everything else and seriously was not needed. It sounded too hasty for a poem, or for any type of writing for that matter.

~April



“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
— L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables