Even though we meet everyday,
My heart keeps seeing you in a different way,
And when you say my name,
The butterflies tickle me once again,
It's so confusing and I don't know that,
As time flew,
Have I loved you?
In the midst of cloudy blues,
I sit by the window thinking of you.
Cappuccino, cool breeze and rainy showers,
Remind me wholesome memories of us together.
I don't know why I think of you,
Like a soothing jazz, completely new.
I must be going crazy,
And controlling my feelings is not easy.
You're that rain when you have that guitar in your hand,
As you bloom my songs to life, earlier bland.
You could be the music and I, the words;
Platonic or not,
We could be the best partners.
After this spell you've put on me,
How will I face you when we meet next week?
It'll be after a long time since we met,
I know I've missed you, should I confess?
I can't hold back anymore,
Will you stay by me?
I love you.
-Ava
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Thank you for your reviews. I edited all the typos and thanks again for pointing them out
Hey there! What a sweet and tender poem. I sure love, love poems. Especially short powerful ones like this. Let's jump right into the review:
Simply, this poem seems to be about you, deciding if you should confess your love to someone who means a lot to you. We see this in the very end of the poem, when you say this:
We have a very nice build up to the end of this poem. One thing that I loved, is that this entire poem is an internal reflection of how you feel. Go through the development of these feelings, which seem to grow through the poem. It's almost as if at the beginning of the poem, you didn't even realize that you love this person. But then you reflect on missing them, and wanting to be with them always, which brings you to this realization that these feelings are so much more than just platonic friendship. Earlier in the poem, you described this person, as being a "soothing jazz" which I absolutely loved! I love music examples like this. I can hear the jazz music in my head and see the calm scene, perhaps a piano, playing or saxophone too. It reminds me of one of my favorite movies which features a lot of jazz music. But anyways, I just picture of the scene and I can so well imagine the feeling of loving this person who makes you feel so safe all the time.
Everything that you do in your poetry, which I really love how you ask these questions, for example, when you ask, "how will I face you ". This adds an extra level of maturity to the poem, and makes me really feel connected to the words. Overall, I loved reading this, and I love the calm serene, feeling that it brought me. Keep on writing an a fantastic day!
Your friend,
Ellie
this is so beautiful. this, this is why i love poems. they make the words come alive.
Poems can make me feel soo many emotions. and this poem made me feel love and desperation and i don't know if it is only me but i feel fear in this piece. Like, fear of not being accepted. and friends to lovers is my favorite troupe but its also scary.
things not ending well scares me. i know i am such a pessimist. but i hope Ava's confession is accepted gladly. i hope they also love Ava and its so awesome to confess to someone in the form of poem.
if someone writes a poem for me, i am gonna melt. like seriously.
Even though we meet everyday,
My heart keeps seeing you in a different way,
this is the beauty of love. even when u spend a lot of time with your loved one, its never enough.
(seeing you in a different way) i think this means that even though you already love them, whenever you see a different or new version/side of them. you fall more deeply.
I must be going crazy,
And controlling my feelings is not easy.
oh god. i love love. this shows desperation.like you are dying to tell them and holding it back hurts.
so, the conclusion is that its so pretty that it hurts.
beautiful portrayal of feelings
i honestly loved it
Hey! Thank you for reading my poem and finding time to review it!
And I cannot agree with you more, I'm a pessimist too and the biggest overthinker. I'd melt if someone confesses me through poems, it's the intimacy, bond and the emotions that can be rendered through poems and nor does it leave any room for misunderstandings. Thank you once again for reviewing my poem <3
Hiya! Nadja Here C:
I wanted to write a review for you, because this piece is amazing! I can tell this was written with so much emotion, I can almost see Ava infront of me. I myself am currently in this situation <3 this resonates with a lot of people, and that is why I really enjoyed it.
I also liked that you use music to talk about the feelings Ava has, like when you mention:
"You're that rain when you have that guitar in your hand
As you bloom my songs to life, earlier bland."
Like this person gives Ava a new life.
I really liked your use of figurative language, espicially when you write this:
"You could be the music and I, the words;"
we really get the feeling of this perfect bond that Ava feels towards the other person.
There were some bits where I was a bit confused! (don't take this the wrong way!!)
in the sentence where you write:
"Will you stay my me?" did you mean 'by'? if you did not that's fine!
Thank you so much for this piece!
- Nadja <3
Hey! I'm AJW.
And honestly this may not be a normal kind of review but..
I LOVED THIS PIECE.
I myself have been dealing with a situation similar to what you've written and it just seemed to have spoken to me. It is beautifully written with references to music.
I also love the mention of Jazz. Firstly because Jazz is it's own kind of chaos when written and each time a Jazz piece is played, it is entirely different. Second, I loved it because you mentioned that it is a soothing kind of Jazz. Which reminds me of a song from La La Land named Mia and Sebastian's Theme. I highly recommend the song and the movie. They are both beautifully made.
I can also tell that this was written with a lot of thought and emotion. This is more than just writing for fun. This is something personal that you seem to care a lot about.
Anyway that's all, and I hope you have a lovely day! =]
Hello! Leya here just to give a quick review on this lovely piece!
Just in time for Valentine's Day, at that. Lets get started.
I'm a sucker for anything romantic, and this caught my attention right away. I wanted to point out first what I loved about this poem: I enjoyed your use of language and the way you described how hard it is to keep the feelings in, to keep them hidden, to go unseen or unrecognized. How you don't view them as a friend, how you want to be more, and how you're mind goes through the process of figuring it out. Lovely job with that!
Now, for improvements: I noticed that the punctuation is a little inconsistent in this piece, as some lines have commas after them, and some don't. Also, I don't mean to be nitpicky, but I found this error:
This is a super small fix, and I'm sure it's so small that it just went unnoticed, but the 'b' in 'breeze' doesn't need to be capitalized here. I couldn't find anything else to critique on here!
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem! I also think you posted it at just the right time of year!
Happy Writings! ~Ley