Diamond Minds

Hi there! So I've skipped back a few pages to start my reviewing and this is the first one I picked out.

The title is what caught my mind first, and comparing it to the poem, I don't think it really fits with the rest of the poem, as much as I like it, I can't see the correlation.

"Stain on my vision", Love this metaphor, like your eyes are made of a material, but I would maybe use 'in' rather than "on", but that's just a choice I would make.
The last line of the first stanza is really quite powerful, but blunt at the same time and I find it that it reveals a lot about the narrator, and their emotional state whilst writing the poem.
I like the rhyming within this first one, it flows well and doesn't stutter when I read it.

"Drugs" carrying on the theme, which is good. And am I correct in saying that you are trying to create God in the phrase "All Seeing Eye"? As God is omniscient and he is always watching us. If so, well done because I love that line. Good that you are carrying on with the scheme, which is good to see!
Only criticism is that I can't see what form this is being written in, because the first stanza suggests that it is present tense that you are writing about, then at the start of this stanza you say "wouldn't" which is past tense, which may confuse the reader slightly.

The final stanza for me fell kinda flat after seeing the 2 great previous stanza's, it does carry on the rhyme scheme, but I felt it could have been more climactic! But that's just my opinion.


Well done with this, some work needed and some careful thought, but some nice little gems in here!

-Cosmo

Hey Seastormy! My name is Scarlett and I'll be reviewing your poetry tonight. ^^

Oh, wow. This is really good. I liked the rhyming, despite the fact that normally, rhyming lines puts me off a poem. But here, I think it works well. The flow is good, too. And I really like the concept. ^^ I like the idea of 'diamond minds' being sad and poisonous. It's an interesting way to describe something. I also like the reference to the "All Seeing Eye". XD Was that a LOTR cameo? XD

And now I don't have anything else to say apart from it's good, and I don't think you need fiddle with it. It's really, really good and I like it so that's a good thing. If your ever revise, rewrite or do anything else to it, please let me know. I'd love to come back and read it again! This is an interesting little poem. Thanks for the poetry! I hope this review helps, somehow. ^^

Remember; keep it up and never stop writing!

~Scar. <3

P.S. Flutter has a good point. Is this the drugs or the mind? Hmm... A very good question, indeed. ^^ I feel it's the mind, though I could be wrong. Correct me if I am!

I feel like I can relate to parts. The line

Drugs wouldn't make my reality go away