Published November 19, 2009
Cruel
He looked a little like you
and his eyes were something like yours
and even though I knew,
I ducked between the shelves
to trace the spines with trembling fingers
and pretend to read back covers,
to steal a dying moment of hope.
When I finally brought myself
to kneel and peep between the rows,
I saw him clearly.
He wasn't you
but in that moment
I could see you, fading, precious,
clearly in my mind.
***
I'm kind of uncertain about whether or not this poem is any good, so any feedback would be much appreciated. 
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140,613 Literary Works • 673,552 Reviews
Thank you very much, I really appreciate the feedback!
Hey there!
This is a very nice poem! It's quite simple and short, but the message that's in it is quite powerful and you can get the emotion through the words. However, I do think that you could do more with this as it is. At the moment, there isn't much imagery and the whole thing seems to read a little bit like prose. Part of me would really like to see this rhyming, but sometimes trying to fit poems into a rhyme scheme just messes them up completely.
What I think would be nice, however, is some more meat put into the poem. You have some good chances to slip some really nice imagery that could back up what you already had and add a little more to the poem.
However, this is only a suggestion!
~Amy
This is very good actually. It flows real well and the vocabulary is used great in the spots used,
I don't really have anything to correct. Yeah you're are a really good writer, keep working at it!
I liked the flow. I had trouble detecting anything out of place or wrong. It's nice and simple with no hidden meaning, and I would rate it perfect/perfect.