E - Everyone

Deapths

The dark rolling waves thumped against the side of the side of the barnacle encrusted ship side.

“Lower the main sail!” shouted the old grizzled ship caption. The rain beat on the dark oiled deck, sounding like bullets below deck. Tomas Wilcock sighed as put his hand behind his head. He was the newest member of the ship crew and was sent below deck while they secured the deck.

“I wish I could be out there,” Tomas grumbled. Walter Jem looked over from his bed.

“You know you aren’t qualified!” He sniffled blew his nose. He had been sent below deck because of his cold. He sniffed and rolled over, turning his back to Tomas. Tomas stiffened, and held still until he heard low snores coming from Walters’s bed. He swung his legs off his cot and slipped his raincoat and boots on. Tomas snuck up the stairs on the deck. The rain poured down in torrents, soaking everything it laid its wet fingers on. “Tomas! What are you doing lad! Get back below the deck!” He yelled over the roaring rain and waves. A wave slammed against the side of the ship, knocking it side, causing crates and the sailors to fall to the side. “Man the port bow! Hoist the sails! Secure the crates! Tomas! Get below deck!” Tomas’s face burned. “But sir,”

“Tomas!” Lightning streaked across the black crying sky.

“Wave! Off the starboard side! Secure yourself!” The huge black wall of water slammed into the ship. The sailors were swept off their feet, but they were holding onto something. All except Tomas. The water slammed onto him and lifted him off his feet. He slammed hard back into the deck and was pushed off with the wave. He fell from the deck and landed into the black water and sank, a stream of bubbles escaping from his mouth.

*-*-*­

The huge black shadow passed over her line of vision. Chaya moved a bit closer and came to a stop, her hair clouding around her. She swished her tail and opened and closed her gills. She swam closer to the surface, her brown and green hair trailing behind her.

“Chaya,” her sister bubbled. “We shouldn’t be this close to the surface.

“I know Imani. I just want to know what that shadow is.”

“Its probably one of those ape’s water travel things. Those primitive creatures still haven’t developed any means of traveling unless it includes using artificial means of transporting one’s self. They have no idea that we or the Welkinmaids exist.”

“I find them fascinating.”

Imani looked incredulously at her younger sister. “How? They have no special abilities, they are thousands of years younger than us, and, again, have no abilities!”

Chaya swam a bit closer to the swirling, choppy surface of the water. “Exactly! They have no special abilities, yet they still managed to find a way to travel across our seas and have started to develop a way to travel across the Welkinmaids sky.”

“I still don’t find how they are at all fascinating.” Chaya turned away from her sister and swam up to the surface.

“Chaya! You get down here right now! Chaya! Fine! Go and get yourself seen! See if I care!” And she was gone, desending into the depths of the sea, her purple tail becoming just a dot of color in the depths. Chaya poked her head up above the water and was slammed in the face by a wave.She resurfaced and pulled an orb of water she wrapped around her nose and mouth.

“Neptune must be upset today.” She jumped as a boom shook the sky and a flash of lightning lit everything with white light.

“Jupiter too.” Chaya turned to look at the wooden floater with huge whit sheets. She swam a bit closer and heard yelling and shouting. The floater rocked and almost fell in its side. A huge black wave cascaded over it. Chaya looked and saw a little man fall over the side and into her precious ocean. She dove beneath the wave and saw the ape sinking deeper, a trail of bubbles coming out of her mouth. “Why doesn’t he just swim?” Chaya wondered. She swam over to him and poked his face. His face was turning pale and his lips were turning blue. Chaya poked his neck and realized the ape had no gills. She moved the water away from his mouth and nose and created a little pocket of air for him. The ape gasped, and coughed, but didn’t wake up. Chaya took his arm and tried to pull him down, but he was heavy. She ran her hand along the apes back and the water hardened, supporting him so she could inspect him. She ran her hands along the bright yellow skin and realized there were snaps. She undid them and found a shirt, and under that skin that looked like hers. The ape let out a groan, and opened his eyes.

*-*-*

Tomas groaned. His head hurt, his chest hurt, his back hurt, but especially his head. He moved his arm, and realized her was in water. He could breath, but he was completely submerged. He opened his eyes to find a face looking down at him. It was the face of a woman, with hair that was... Green? Then he realized it started green and went brown. And her hair was unnaturaly long, probably reaching down to her knees. Then he made another startling discovery. She had gills on her neck. “I must be dreaming,” he thought. “Who are you?” He tried to say, but it just came out as a low groan.

“What?” the woman said her voice was clear as a bell. “Who are you,” he tried again but it turned into a groan right after ‘Who.’

“Who am I?” She asked. Tomas nodded.

“Chaya,” she answered. “Who are you?” She swam around him, but where her legs should be was a tail. His eyes widened. He sat up and realized he had no shirt on, and it was a bit cold. He wrapped his arms around himself and got a good look at the woman. She had long green –to-brown hair, gills at her neck and ribs, a top made of woven seaweed, and at her waist, scales started her green tail. “You’re a mermaid!” He yelled. He scrambled back and fell through the water. He swam up to where he was and realized the water had been supporting him. “How was the water supporting me?! And how am I breathing!?” The mermaid looked at him with glowing green eyes. “Who are you?” She asked again.

“Tomas. Tomas Wilcock.”

“The water was supporting you because I wanted it to, and you are breathing because I created a pocket of air.”

Tomas gaped at her. “How!?”

She took her hand and moved it around her and a current of water swirled around her. Tomas’s jaw dropped even lower. “Can’t you apes do anything like that?” That shocked Tomas out of his stuper.

“Apes? Excuse me; I am a human, not an ape! And no we cannot do anything like that!” Tomas said indignantly.
“So that’s what you call your spiecies? Heu-mon?”

“No, human.” Tomas said gently.

“Umun?”

“No, Hu, man. Say it with me. Human.”

“Human,” Chaya said.

“Yes,” Tomas smiled. “Can, um, can I have my shirt back?” Goosebumps started to creep up his arm.

“Oh, yes, um…” Chaya looked down and saw the shirt get carried off by a fish. “Um, I have this?” She held up his yellow coat. Tomas slipped his arms through and buttoned it up.

“Look, it was amazing meeting you and everything, but I really need to be going. My crew will be getting worried.”

“Alright. But, if you ever want to find me again,” she leaned in and whispered something in Tomas’s ear and pressed something into his hand.She swam with him up to the surface. “Goodbye Tomas Wilcock. I’ll see you again.” She kissed his cheek with a flip of her tail, she was gone, descended beneath the waves.

*-*-*

Three months later, Tomas stood on a deserted stretch of beach, fingering the pearl Chaya had given to him when she had saved him during that storm. “When you want to see me again, drop the pearl into the water. I’ll be there, I promise.” He ran to the docks and took a rowboat. He rowed out into the clear blue water, and, making sure he was completely alone, dropped the pearl into the water. He waited, and just as he started to think it was too late, he saw a flicker of green. His eyes widened, and Chaya pooped her head up out of the water, a smile stretched across her face.

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
BlueSquare
Review

I felt that this short story was very captivating and interesting. I felt as I was a spectator, right beside the action in the story. The characters had very unique personalities and appearances. It was very intricately described, with little details to help you understand everything that was going on. If I had to rate it, it would a 5/5. Good work!

Thank you so much! :D Glad you liked it!

User avatar
WaterCheetah Comment

this story makes me feel like I am there I the story and I like how you use so much detail in the story and wow... I just can't say anything else right now.. I am speechless

Oh my gosh! Thank you so much!

User avatar
Xreigon
Review
Xreigon wrote a review · Fri Jul 12, 2013 7:59 pm

This is a good start of a cute little story. You did a good job of creating interest in the mermaids, and I since don't know what Welkinmaids are, that interested me and gave a me a desire to read more to see if it was explained.

I do have a few nit-picky comments, however. For one thing, you cannot use the same word twice in a sentence. It does not let the sentence flow properly, and it sounds odd. So, you may want to change something in the sentence, "He was the newest member of the ship('s) crew and was sent below deck while they secured the deck." You have used the word deck twice and that makes the sentence sound quite repetitive. You ought to change the sentence structure, so that you don't say basically the same thing over again. It could even be a simple as taking out the first "deck".

Also, your first sentence is kinda screwed up. It might have been on accident. Sometimes I repeat myself too. You said "side" three times in the same sentence. It says, "The dark rolling waves thumped against the side of the side of the barnacle encrusted ship side". That makes no sense. This sentence has the bones of being a good sentence, but you ought to take out "the side of the side of". It makes way more sense that way.

The last thing that I will say is that this story has the potential of being a powerful short story, and if you fix a few errors and try to create a general flow in your word choice, it will give it even more power. Good start, though!

Thank you! Yeah, I just realized how messed up my first sentience was! Thank you for pointing that out to me! It should had said The dark rolling waves thumped against the side of the barnacle encrusted ship. Welkinmaids are a creature I made up and I'm working on there story now. It should be up soon.

User avatar
TwinkleStar
Review

hi, I'm here to review. This is really good. It takes the reader into another world and also into the minds of the mermaids and the little boy. Your started was pretty good, with the description of the storm. My favourite line here was 'The rain beat on the dark oiled deck, sounding like bullets below deck.' It added realism into the fantasy world which I was soon to discover as I read on.

I absolutely loved how you described the scene of the waves crashing onto the deck, and the dialogues helped keep that serious atmosphere the entire time it lasted. I also liked the way the two mermaid sisters argued over the topic of what they call 'apes'. that was funny. one sister doesn't want anything to do with them, while the other is mesmerised by the way the humans go about their lives, travel.

It was pretty cool how she made that air pocket for him to breathe in and the funniest part was how he reacted. their little conversation had been my favourite part yet. Overall, I think you're a pretty good writer. Your imagery is just as good. keep at it and good luck in future stories! =]

Why thank you! If you would like to read more on this topic, I'm writing another short story along the same the same lines as this one but with the Welkinmaids I described.



Overripe sushi, The master Is full of regret.
— Buson