Can she get better with time?

Hey!

Had to reread this a couple times to really understand what and who this was about, which made it a lot more fun to read! In two stanzas you introduced a person, told me who she was, what her problem was, that she was trying to fix it, and that a mishap happened. Amazing!

There she is with burning eyes,

Loved this, immediately grabbed my attention

her patience slowly crossing the line,

These types of metaphors where you don't properly set up the image but assume it and lead on it is great imo. You never introduce that there was a line or anything, but that it was crossed, loved it! The entire poem is built around this idea of more just putting the reader into the girl and letting them ponder as to what actually happened.

There she is with loss of words,

Great, but I think it should be "a loss of words" or "at a loss of words" (like the idiom), it seemed unnatural to me.

almost turning herself into a mime,

The metaphor is amazing, you're really good at those! But this was a little long, it broke the nice punchy rhythm the poem had. Maybe removing "herself" would work better for the rhythm.

facing critics as sharp as swords,

Again, love the metaphor.

Can she get better with time?

Perfect ending I gotta say. From the start I was thinking "this is a girl who has some worries, but on the whole is impatient and angry, but beneath that there is a layer of softness and gentleness that she is trying to bring forward", then when I read that final line everything just clicks and gives a little eureka moment to who she is as a person.

Overall, very nice, loved it!