16+ Language Mature Content

Omens Of Disgrace - Chapter Seven

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

Well. It's over two months late, but here it is none-the-less. The next chapter! So yeah. Scarli got major writer's block, but now she has a new computer and heeeeello muse! Why am I talking about myself in third-person? Nevermind. Anyways, here's the chapter. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2106, approx.

Chapter Seven

Kaj waited while Devon stared back at him. He hoped the older man wouldn't do anything stupid. Then again, he probably wouldn't considering he was, er, tied up at the moment. Kaj told himself he wouldn't take advantage of that, and decided to remedy that. He set to work on removing the gag, tossing it aside once the knot was undone.

"You take me prisoner, tie me up, gag me and drag me through the forest, then a village," Devon began, voice growing in volume with every word, "and then leave me with a pervert, and all you have to say is 'we need to talk'?" The older man snorted, wincing as Kaj brushed his fingertips over his right side. "Honestly, I'm insulted."

"Insulted?" Kaj asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's what you have to say? I would have thought you'd be more colourful after your snappish comment a moment ago."

"Oh," the older man ground out, "so you heard that? I was wondering; thought you weren't listening to a word I said."

"You can't judge a book by its cover, Devon."

Devon glared at him, eyes narrowed dangerously. Kaj stared back, impassive--at least, to the older man's eyes. He tried to throw up that fascade of impassive soldier, but he wasn't sure it worked. "I don't give a shit about judging things," he snapped. Kaj frowned at him. "Well, what did you want to talk about?"

Kaj shook his head, moving to the side and taking a seat on the bed so he could reach Devon's wrists. "I talked to General Ollen," he said, taking a moment to study the rope binding the other man's wrists before he began to tease the knot apart. Devon was tensed as when he place one hand on the other man's shoulder to keep him steady. "He told me that the Emperor did indeed have a son." He hesitated, unsure how to continue. Devon shifting uncomfortably made him finish off the rope and move away. "But according to Ollen, the boy was assumed dead over twenty years ago."

He watched as the other man shifted until his arms were no longer behind his back, wincing as he covered his side. Devon glanced towards him as Kaj went to go find the pack he was sure Baraq had left behind for him somewhere. "That's not very reassuring," Devon said, smothering a groan. "Did he say anything else?"

"General Ollen said he saw the boy once, when he was the Conquerer's prisoner," Kaj replied, finding the pack and digging through it. He glanced towards Devon, noted the way the other man held his ribs and winced with every movement. "Said the boy wore servants clothes, but followed the Emperor everywhere. Ollen says the kid had the prettiest eyes he'd even seen."

Devon stared at him, shock evident on his face. Clearly, he hadn't heard this before. Kaj had a feeling he probably hadn't even known Saeron was there. He watched as a frown crawled over the other man's face, bringing worry lines and creases into sharp relief. "I don't remember any of that," he muttered, and shifted his gaze away from Kaj's.

"Maybe the memory was taken from you?"

Kaj watched as Devon's head jerked up and the other man's frown deepened. Devon shook his head and shifted further back on the bed. He watched as the other man settled in to lean against the foot of the bed and a soft grunt. "Even if it was," Devon muttered, rubbing his side gingerly. "Why would someone take it from me?"

"Shouldn't you be asking who?" Kaj gave him a meaningful look before turning his attention to the bag. He pulled a satchel bound with a thick strip of leather out of the pack and set it aside, reaching in to pull out another satchel. He could feel Devon's eyes on him, curious and wary. Kaj picked up the first satchel and strightened up, turning back towards where Devon sat on the bed. The candlelight flickered, suddenly casting half of Devon's face into darkness. "I would think it'd be pretty obvious, Devon."

Devon glowered at him, the low light casting shadows across the walls, and glanced away. He remained tight-lipped as Kaj moved to join him on the bed, hesitating only slightly before he sat down. He placed one of the satchels off to the side and turned to the second one. Kaj frowned as he began to slowly unwind the leather from the satchel. After a moment, when the satchel was untangled and the contents spilled across the bed between then, Kaj sighed.

"At least let me check those ribs for you," Kaj said, picking out a wad of rolled up bandages. Devon cast him a suspicious glance but let him do as he'd requested, wincing only occasionally as he pressed on a tender spot. When exhaled and pulled back after several minutes, setting the bandages aside. "Well, the good news is you haven't broken anything."

"What's the bad news?" Devon asked, eyeing the medicinal supplies scattered across the bedspread.

"Your whole side is bruised," he replied, noting the way Devon's eyes darted about. He started gathering up the supplies, making sure to count them carefully. "It's going to be sore for a while, so take it easy." He glanced up, catching Devon's eye just as the other man happened to glanced up at him. "Did Baraq hurt you? Throw you into something?"

"He pushed me and I stumbled into the foot of the bed."

Kaj gave him a long, considering look and then shook his head. That did sound like something Baraq would do, and considering his second-in-command's behaviour towards Devon, he was hardly surprised. His jaw clenched and Kaj stood up abruptly, swiftly gathering up the last of the supplies and shoving them into the satchel. "He does lose his temper ocassionally," he muttered, ignoring the way Devon rolled his eyes. "I think I'll go talk to him."

"Don't."

Startled, Kaj looked up. Devon's expression was determined. He gave Devon his full attention. The older man shuffled towards the edge of the bed and stood slowly, and a little stiffly. Kaj waited until he was on his feet before striding over to the pack. He shouldn't listen to his prisoner, shouldn't let this man get under skin. But it was too late, wasn't it? Devon had already done so, and there wasn't much he could do about it. Kaj wasn't sure what to think--or feel--and considering they'd only met a few days ago... Well, that just seemed to put thing into perspective. No matter how attractive he found him, no matter how much Devon pushed--or didn't push--him, Kaj was not going to give in. Last time he did that, he'd ended up with a dagger in his chest.

Devon, when he looked, seemed to be confused. Or preplexed. Kaj really couldn't tell. He hadn't said it, but he'd definitely implied it. The Conquerer had probably taken Devon's memory. In fact, he'd probably taken more than just that one memory. It was hard to tell, and Kaj's sense of magic was a little frayed at the moment. Besides, he really wasn't that keen on digging through other people's heads in the first place, let alone Devon's. Who knew what he'd find there.

He turned away after a moment and the satchel he held back into the pack. Behind him, he heard Devon fiddling with the other one. That was fine by him. It was just food anyway, and he figured the older man was probably hungry. He let him rummage through the food, readjusting and shuffling about everything in the pack. After a moment, he pulled a pair of pants out of the bag, followed swiftly by a shirt and then a jacket. When he turned back, Devon was attempted to lift his shirt over his head without much success. Every time he lifted his left arm, he winced. Kaj exhaled and shook his head, crossing over to the bed swiftly and placing a hand on Devon's arm.

"Easy," he said, letting the clothes in his other hand fall to the bed. "Let me help."

With some struggling and a little force, Kaj got him out of the shirt and had it tossed into a corner of the room. Devon grimaced, falling to sit abruptly on the bed. Kaj left him to it, snagging the shirt from the bed without looking too closely at Devon's chest. The older man's side was a mess of blue, green and purple. There were even a few spots of black and yellow. Some of the bruising looked to be a few weeks old. What had happened to Devon before he'd escaped Belasi? Kaj wasn't sure if he even wanted to know. Perhaps later, but right now? He'd leave it be and just let Devon do whatever.

"Why are you even bothering?" Devon asked suddenly, and Kaj jerked back round to face him. The older man was scowling at him, and that scowl darkened when his gaze drifted downwards. Kaj jerked his eyes back up to Devon's face. "You don't even believe me."

Kaj glared at him. "If I didn't believe you, would I have told Baraq and Silus and the rest of my men that I wasn't going to sell you?" he demanded, leaning towards him. Devon backed up, wincing when the movement made his side twinge. "Would I have kicked Baraq out into the stables? I could have let him fuck you, use you as he thinks you have been, but I haven't." He shook his head and turned away, picking up the shirt. "Even a child could see you haven't been with a man."

Obviously Devon was sure how to take that, considering the silence now. Kaj held the shirt out to him. Hesitantly, the shirt was taken from him and Devon began cussing. He waited a full minute before he head Devon exhale somewhat angrily.

"I could use some help," he was finally asked, though the tone seemed a little sullen.

Kaj waited a couple more seconds before he turned back, still angry but willing to help the man. Of course, he couldn't help it when his eyes strayed. Even bruised and sullen, he had to admit Devon was attractive. And why the hell was he even thinking about that? Devon was the enemy. And, of course, he stared as he took the shirt from Devon and helped him put it on. How could he not? He wasn't sure if Devon noticed or not, but he wasn't going to mention it--or comment--unless the Belasian mentioned it first.

"I was going to make you sleep on the floor," Kaj began, but then he glanced towards where he knew bruises marred Devon's side. "But you're injured, so you can take the bed." He waited a moment until Devon was looking at him before he continued. "I gather you can take it from here?" When Devon nodded, he left the man's side and went over to the window. He stared out over the sun-drenched marketplace, eyes on the flag flying at full mast above the holdfast's walls. "Take the chance to get some rest. We probably won't be staying in an inns for a while after this."

There wasn't a response from Devon, but Kaj assumed that was answer enough. After a moment, he heard a grunt and then the sound of shuffling clothes and blankets. Devon had taken the bed, like Kaj had suggested. That was fine by him. He probably wasn't going to sleep well at all now. Not after what he'd spoken with General Ollen about. Saeron Ollen was a soldier, yes, but he was also a very wise man, and he had twenty years experience on Kaj. The Conquerer was moving on Verlisia, and he wasn't doing it alone. Apparently, he had Harvati's military on his side--he had taken over the kingdom--and then there was Droa.

Kaj was pretty sure that was going to be a bad thing, and bad things usually meant everything was about to get really shitty. Droa had a reputation, and it wasn't a pretty one. They were so screwed if Daeron was actually going to invade. Kaj knew the Verlisian Queen was dying, but had that news spread beyond the kingdom? It was entirely possible. After all, there were Verlisian spies beyond the border. Why wouldn't there be Belasian? Or even Droan spies? The war was about to take a turn for a the worse. Kaj hoped he had chosen the right side, else he was definitely going to die in the near future.

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
Snowery
Review
Snowery wrote a review · Sun Sep 14, 2014 8:24 am

Hey Scarli! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this chapter, I've been a little busy lately.

This is going to be quite a short review, mainly because there aren't really any problems with it or more accurately any real improvements that I can suggest. Though really it stands as testment to how good your writing is. :D

I would like to leave some pointers on the progress of your overall novel instead. So far what's been great in this story is the lovely sense of flow. Changing chapters or even viewpoints is an easy and smooth experience and isn't jarring like it sometimes can be. You say that you've written this chapter almost two months after the previous one yet it still has that seamless feel about it and really if you hadn't had told us I would never have known.

The characters in this story are great, I feel like I've got a really good feel for most of them, especially Kaj. Even Tirani's brief viewpoint was great and I felt that in that one chapter I got to know him fairly well. The only character whom I feel that I haven't really connected that strongly with is probably Devon, strangely enough. I don't know why, maybe it's just me or something but I'll just mention it anyway. I just don't feel that I know him as well as I do with the others. Maybe as the chapters progress though that will change :)

Another key element I would like to mention is pacing. Although the individual chapters themselves have great pacing within them, I feel that at this point or at least fro this point there should start to be a change of pace, even if slightly, to provide some variation. You've already begun to do that with this chapter by providing some movement with the camps moving settlements which is great. I would say that it's a good idea to continue along that vein. So far most of your chapters have been internal contemplation and/or conversation, it's great to have a little more movement, like in this chapter, to change up the pace and add variety.

I wanted to finish off by commending you on something which I thought you did great this chapter, and that was being able to describe the setting, or helping the reader “see” the setting while our point of view was effectively blind. I thought you did an amazing job! :D I felt like I had a really good grip on my surroundings and environment even though technically I couldn't “see” anything. I felt that you really made great use of showing through other (and often forgotten) senses. Great stuff!

Keep up the awesome work and happy writing! :D :D

Silverlock

User avatar
megsug
Review
megsug wrote a review · Mon Jul 28, 2014 2:57 am

Scarlett~
I haven't forgotten I'm your sage ;) It's been a while, so I'm not sure if I remember everything, but I'll do my best to give you a decent review. I've also skimmed through these other reviews. Hopefully I won't repeat anything.

It's so nice to have these characters back :3 I hope you're not just teasing us and won't post another chapter for another two months ;n;

I, actually, like Rosey, had trouble keeping everything straight. I think you need to have a reread because some things were hard to understand because the wording was really funky.

"I don't remember any of that,"

Okay, stupid question, and this may just be how late the hour is for me but when he says he doesn't remember any of that doesn't he mean any of this:
"Said the boy wore servants clothes, but followed the Emperor everywhere. Ollen says the kid had the prettiest eyes he'd even seen."

I read this part at least three times, and I still wasn't able to really grasp what was going on.

Just a side note, these are the kind of sentences you need to look for when you reread:
When exhaled and pulled back after several minutes, setting the bandages aside.


My big issue though is that Kaj's feelings toward Devon (and I'm not talking about his attraction but the fact that he actually seems to like Devon) seem unfounded, illogic, and rushed. I understand wanting to move on with character interaction, but you have to slow down. Perhaps I've forgotten a conversation between Kaj and Devon that would have warranted this sudden trust, but I don't think I did. It's kind of offputting as it is right now.

I do love the interaction between Kaj and Devon though. xP I just think that it needs a little more development before we reach this point.

I'm excited to see what goes on next. Let me know when the next chapter is out.

See ya,
Megs~

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Rosendorn
Review

Hello.

Haven't read any previous parts. Just going off what I see here.

This was actually interesting, and it was enough of a snippet I find myself wanting to read more. However, this could be an artifact of me jumping in so late, I was very lost as to who was in the room, who was speaking, and generally struggled to keep everything straight.

Knowing who's there and where they are is important when you're dealing with a multiple person conversation, and you can do that fairly easily as every person's speaking. As they speak you can have them lean against something, or move, or generally behave in a way that characterizes them and makes the scene come to life.

Right now, the voices come out of nowhere, and it's difficult to really get a grip on what the place looks like. You might've described it in a previous chapter, but that doesn't mean you can't keep using your setting to your advantage. Having people use it not only characterizes how they use a space, but also helps readers keep track of who's who.

This was, however, a very interesting concept and I'm looking forward to seeing how it turns out. The dialogue flowed along smoothly and the prose was similar, although it honestly could use a touch more characters using the scene so voices don't come out of nowhere.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have questions/comments.

~Rosey

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ANADIR
Review
ANADIR wrote a review · Sun Jul 27, 2014 10:10 pm

Welcome to the near future! You can come in here and die. (Is still trying to add bad finishes to other peoples work) Hello there! You've got an interesting chapter here! I have to admit that i haven't read the rest of the chapters yet, so I might screw something up because I'm too lazy to read the other ones...yet. So you don't have to forgive me, but i just thought i should let you know. XD

So, I especially liked the way you started this chapter out. I think I'll take a leaf out of your book and start posting a word count in the front so people don't end up missing school because they're trying to read my 10 page chapter. XD And c'mon, what self respecting author DOESN'T talk about themselves in third person sometimes? :P

Your story seems sound so far, and I haven't spotted any major (or minor) plot holes, so gratz on that. Of course, there were a few grammar mistakes that really don't matter and nobody really cares about, but I just thought I should mention that so I don't come off as too friendly. (Say no to strangers.)

""I could use some help," he was finally asked, though the tone seemed a little sullen."
In that sentence, I would replace "He was finally asked" with "He finally asked" Because you really don't need that linking verb there. HE IS UNWANTED.

That was pretty much the extent of your mistakes, and I am eager to read the rest of your story! Write on!!

TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OF AGAINNNNNN (But this time we have a stylish new rocket to do it with.)



I hope that when I am gone, someone still reaches for me like I reach for them
— Leya