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16+ Language

Being Female

by ScarlettBlacck


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Waking up, I need to put my armour on.

Cracked and chipped I attempt to superglue the parts that are failing apart.

Waking up, I need to take deep laboured breaths.

Which honestly does little to quieten my anxious breathing.

I stand in front of the mirror repeating a prayer,

A mantra, as if I am casting a protection spell.

A cry for a peaceful place to dwell.

It goes like this: I am not your doormat,

This body that you have mistaken as yours is not yours to hold.

I am the sole owner of this property.

In simple English this body is MINE ALONE so back off!

It is not your personal punching bag,

And it was definitely never meant to be your frustration rag.

Waking up, I take a deep breath.

I look at my breastplate as if i just escaped death.

It  holds angry holes from where a father’s greedy eyes lasered through.

Who needs telepathy when your facial expression does little to hide 

the sickening fantasies of you grinding my bones into disposable powder?

Powder that becomes nothing but a by-product of your lust filled one sided pleasure which some 

how is seen as a measure of your man-hood past time leisure.

Waking up, I grip my blood-stained sword.

Evidence of the battles I’ve won but somehow feel like I have lost,

Because my sisters who should be celebrating our victory are claiming it was the “slutty outfit I wore which made me whore’

“ or that I cant handle a simple joke, so what it was a gentle hard poke... right?’”

So very quickly I learnt that maybe my idea of a ‘joke’ is alien to society the same way that the word respect is.

According to my dictionary, ‘joke’ doesn’t not reference to sexual violation or degrading.

It seems like in your ‘dick-shit-nary’ joke is a verb meaning enforcing your man-less dominance.

Attempting to prove that my “No, I’m not interested" does not exist in your lacking vocabulary.

Your version of a ‘joke’ is dissecting my self-esteem,

Stripping it bare in front of your friends so you can try smoothen the creases that my rejection 

created in your ego and pride.

Your version of a ‘joke’ is sexual humiliation that is mockery, because your sorry ass feels entitled 

to what doesn’t belong to it.

After a long day I returned and I strip off the heavy armour,

But not before checking the door is locked three times,

And rushing to secure my windows making 

sure that they closed shut from the inside,

Because in this world “too safe” doesn’t exist especially for girls and women.

I kneel by my bed post, and don’t get me wrong I am not religious,

But life has brought me to me knees too many times, so I figured if '  going down'is a requirement 

attached to being woman then let me go down to speak.

Let me speak into the universal council not as woman but as spirit because the stamp written 

silence is carved on women’s lips so that the skin still burns when she attempts to speak out.

I ask God:

If you made a woman’s body a temple then why do men greedily destroy her walls before the 

temple is fully built?

I ask the woman who came before me, whose spirit stand tall with no guilt in the universe as if 

freedom was only found after death :

If ‘woman’ is a blessing then how come I hold the title with such shame regretting my own 

breath? 

Somehow the word  female feels like chains,

And the word virgina has given me a life sentence to 

slavery's mark as if I'm Cain's.

Just tell me in which point in time, did being a woman become an unspoken crime?


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User avatar
10 Reviews


Points: 277
Reviews: 10

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Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:24 pm
GigiNicole17 wrote a review...



You did an AMAZING JOB!!!! Being a girl who's experienced the very tough issues you discussed, you conveyed my feelings perfectly. I think it was better without the stanzas, because it gave the poem a new type of rhythm and tempo. I think it's especially important that we see many more writing works like this, not to say that all guys are villains, but to raise awareness. Great job!






Thank you so much for the encouraging words. Not all men are villains true, but I wish I met less villains you know. I will be more creative on the next one thank you again %uD83D%uDE04%u2665%uFE0F%uD83E%uDD17



GigiNicole17 says...


No problem!! I know a villain when I see him...I'm looking forward to seeing even more works from you!!!



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319 Reviews


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Reviews: 319

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Tue Feb 12, 2019 1:30 am
MJTucker wrote a review...



Hey there ScarlettBlacck! Glad to see you're tackling such a huge and important issue in your work :) Let's jump right into it!

Waking up, I need to put my armour on


This body that you have mistaken as yours is not yours to hold


I look at my breastplate, which holds angry holes from where a father’s greedy eyes lasered

through
Ew.

Those are only a couple of nitpicks, but hopefully it was helpful nonetheless!

Overall Thoughts

I loved the way you used the metaphor of armor to deal with the constant vigilance that women and girls have to constantly employ to protect themselves. The constant use of imagery and metaphors tonight really solidified the point you were making and added a special touch to your poetry, so excellently done on that point!

However, I think that one thing that you were lacking here was stanzas. That's such a crucial part of poetry—that separation between lines that gives the reader time to breathe is something that absolutely cannot be neglected in your poetry, and you were missing that aspect here.

Additionally, you seemed to be lacking rhythm towards the ends. Your sentences got longer and longer, and it kinda lost the feeling of a poem. You had very good thoughts in general, but I think a bit more work needs to be done to format these and make it both aesthetically appealing and something that draws the reader in instead of turning them away.

And finally, there were some other grammar mistakes that I didn't quite catch, and I didn't want the entirety of my review to be minute grammar details like that. It's worth a readthrough, though, to make sure that your grammar is as good as you can get it to give your poem a more refined and polished look.

Hopefully this review was helpful and not too harsh! Like I said, I really love the message and the way you chose to tackle this problem, so I wanted to give you all the feedback I could so that you could make it even better. Good work on this, and I look forward to seeing what you do with it!

~MJTucker






Thank you for the honesty i tried editing it and adding more rhythms. I hope it makes sense and is more enjoyable after the edit. Regarding the stanza part, I'm not sure why it doesn't reflect i have been attempting yet failing in trying to put paragraph spacing i even tried using html still nothing my spaces disappear it is frustrating. Could you advice me on that?

with gratitude
S.B



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82 Reviews


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Reviews: 82

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Mon Feb 11, 2019 12:02 am
Horisun wrote a review...



This poem was great, I love the words, and the soul in it. I didn't see much problems with it in general, however, "Let me go down to speak." had a period at the end, including some other sentences, but many others had no punctuation what so ever. There were also a few missing comas, and some sentences that didn't flow as nicely as others. I'd read it through a few more times, in your head and out loud, to see if it makes sense.
I hope you feel better about all the stuff you said in the poem soon, and welcome to YWS! I hope to see more stuff from you!






Thank you so much, I will work on the punctuation and edit the piece, my biggest weakness has always been punctuation and grammar. I always wanted to be a writer however these weak points had me opting to study maths in varsity. I am determined to fix up my writing and
again thank you so much for the input, I have been here for less then 3 days but this community is so amazing!

xoxox




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