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18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Rejected

by Sauramon02


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

“Mika? Mika? It’s time to wake up sleepy head.”

“No let me sleep. I’m exhausted.” I said half-asleep.

“Mika! Come on girl-friend, you need to get up. Important things to do today.”

“W-what? Oh Liza why do you always have to get me up so early?” I said. I was laying their miserable while my head ached. I hadn’t been able to sleep for the life of me last night. I was constantly plagued by the nightmares of my past.

“Oh come on Mika! It’s your wedding day!!” Liza said.

“WHAT!! Shit!! I have to get ready and go! Oh shit! Am I late?!” I yelled afraid I had missed my own wedding that I had been planning for months. I had finally got everything ready and in order.

‘Hahha! You should see your face right now! Of course you’re not late. Who do you think I am?!” Liza said with fake hurt in her voice.

“Grrrr! Don’t make fun of me!” I growled with anger at her disrespect. I was very serious about respect I wouldn’t tolerate any disrespect. All lot of it had to do because what happened to me as child. And since then I am in tune with my wolf side.

“S-sorry, I meant no disrespect. I was playing around. Alright hop in the shower while I make breakfast for the bride!”

“Sorry Liza, I didn’t mean to snap. It was just…” I said in shame for the way I treated my best friend. She was like a sister to me, I knew better than to snap at her.

“It’s okay. I understand why you did it. So have no more worries. Go get in the shower and I help you get ready after you eat.” Liza said sweetly.

I hopped in the shower after I grabbed a pair of black jeans and a nice shirt. As I entered the shower I was immediately relaxed by the water. Water had always managed to calm me down whenever I was angry or upset, it was almost as if we were connected in some way. I quickly grabbed the soap and began to wash my hair then proceed to wash my body.

As I exited the bathroom fully dressed I smelled fresh pancakes, it made my stomach growl loudly.

“Man that smells good!” I said as I began to descend the steps. As I walked towards the kitchen, I immediately began to hear soft moans. I was confused so I began to walk forward slowly. When I entered the kitchen I was met with a horrifying sight.

“N-no.” I whispered as I saw my beloved fiancé thrusting repeatedly into my best-friend. The person that I thought would always be by my side as my sister. And the other who I thought would stick with me through and through. The one that I was going to marry that very day.

“M-Mika?!” Liza said with a shocked expression.

“H-huh? Shit!” My fiancé said.

“W-why?! Why would you guys do this to me?! W-why! What did I do to deserve this?!” I screamed trying to hold back my tears.

“M-Mika! I’m sorry Mika. I really am but I love him! And he loves me to! We were meant to be together!” Liza said with a bright smiling face.

“Mika? Mika its okay. It’s not what it seems. I can be with both of you!” My fiancé said with a fake cheery voice.

I could see his hate for me in his eyes. I was beyond hurt that the people I trusted the most lied to me. And then got together behind my back. I was also livid that, that those pieces of shit did that to me!

“You pieces of shit! How dare you! Who the hell do you think you are to go behind my back and ugghh, fuck in my house!! Get the fuck out before I rip out your hearts and make you eat them while you watch each OTHER DIE!!!! Grrrr! RARARARARA! GET OUT!!” I screamed getting more angry by the moment while my voice became more animalistic by every word I said.

Liza and my ex-fiancé showed frightened yet shocked faces. My ex got too big for his britches and decided to growl back.

“How dare us!? How dare you growl at and alpha and your alpha female!! GRRRR!” He growled loudly with an angry face yet his eyes betrayed his anger showing fear.

“Who? You guys?Hahaha! Damn that’s funny! You think you are ALPHA’S!!! You are weak! You can’t do anything! I’ve been running this pack!! You aren’t Alpha’s!! You are the low of the low! ALPHA’S ARE NOT SCUM LIKE YOU! THEY ARE HONORABLE! AND THEY RESPECT THEIR PACK!” I growled with immense anger. How dare they act like Alpha’s!? An alpha would never be so disrespectful and would not show fear. He hide’s his tails between his legs in the face of a fucking fly!

“Grrrrrrr! I James Leroy Wales reject you Mika Amora Dragon as my mate and future Luna of this pack now LEAVE!!” James said with a delighted smirk on his face.

I was shocked at first. My entire body felt as if it was covered in agonizing fire and electricity. I flinched in pain but somehow managed to continue to stand.

“And I Mika Amora Dragon accept your rejection James Leroy Wales as your mate and future Luna!” I said with complete and total confidence and with as much authority as I could muster.

I watched in satisfaction as he immediately dropped to the ground in the same pain I was in. I growled lowly at them in warning not to follow as I went up stairs and grabbed a few of my things and left.

------

As soon as I made it to my truck I immediately began to cry softly from all the pain I was in. The two people I thought would always be there for me had betrayed me. I had nowhere to go. I was all-alone in the world and I knew the pack wouldn’t follow me. They were all to busy kissing James’s ass to give a shit.

I tug out a map I had and began to look at all the places I could go. I preferred warm weather but I also wanted to get as far away as possible. I looked around but every place I looked housed packs that were very loyal to James. I knew if he began looking for me that his allies would rat me out. So I went to a place that I knew for a fact he had no alliances at. Australia, it was hot around that area but it held many amazing creatures. Plus I had wanted to visit their one-day anyways. I could start a new life, one where I could be left to myself.

So I planned my route to get there without being detected by James’s goons. I decided to go to Port Douglous. They were plenty of mountains and fresh water for me to survive alone without being disturbed. And it also meant I could live more freely without hiding my wolf-side. I could finally change into my real form. I had always had to hide it at James’s pack for fear of being abandoned but now I could live free.

As I went on my way, my tears began to dry and disappear. I was upset still and angry but I knew my life was getting better. I would be free and away from everything that would harm me.

As I drove I felt better. I began to jam to music after awhile. I thoroughly enjoyed my ride. I continued to drive through the night and onwards. I wouldn’t stop until I got. That way I would know for sure that he wouldn’t be able to follow me. I was exhausted but I kept going. Eventually I had to sneak onto a plane so I could make it Australia undetected. I was somehow able to sneak into the back with luggage. I had what little I took and shifted into a normal wolf and laid down. Before I got on the plane I had dumped my old beat up truck into the lake so that if he did find my trail that he would thought I was dead so that he wouldn’t be able to follow me to Australia.

After we took off I was a little restless because of the turbulence but eventually I was able to settle down and catch some sleep. Soon than I would have liked I was disturbed from my sleep by a whimpering noise. At first I thought I had just imagined it when I heard it again. I immediately got up, instinctively and began to look for the noise. My maternal instincts driving me to find the sound.

As I step closer the whimpering got louder and more urgent. I rushed to get to the sound. I eventually found where the sound had come from. There was a very young wolf pup that was being squashed by a bunch of suitcases. I immediately moved them off the pup and began to look them over to see if they had any injuries. I was met with a large gash on its right hind leg. I immediately growled loudly in anger, because it obvious it had been inflicted by an adult male.

The pup whimpered loudly and tried to back further into the plane. I whimpered back and laid down on my stomach to show the pup I meant them no harm. It stopped backing up but still whimpered lightly. I purred lightly and rolled on to my back to show the pup that I would cause him no harm.

The pup then yipped and made a wolf like giggle then slowly inched forward to me. I gave the pup a wolfy smile, and rolled back on to my stomach and slowly inched toward the pup. It startled the pup a bit, but they let me get closer and closer. Once I got close enough I examined their wound and then looked at them with pleading eyes to allow to address their wound.

Their little eyes widened at bit before it nodded slowly. I inched a bit forward and gently licked their wound. Careful not to hurt the pup any further but enough to accelerate the healing process. And on top of the normal licking and healing process. I had a secret weapon to heal it further to ensure it caused no further damage.

I gently moved away from the wound allowing some room for what I was about to do. I slowly let the process to change from a normal wolf to that of one with spikes on its back. The pup looked at me in a mixture of awe and fear. I looked back at the pup with a reassuring gaze as I ripped one of the spikes out of my back.

The pup was horrified at the display and again I gave them a reassuring look. I crack the spike into to parts. The tip of if and the rest of it. In the tip held the liquid version of an all healing cure. The other part of the spike had the cream version of the healing cure. I showed the pup this and the demonstrated it by sticking my tongue in the cream cure and rubbed it over the spot that the spike came out of. It immediately began to heal the spot leaving only a small cut left.

The pup was in awe and relief rushed over their face. I was glad that the pup did no longer seem to be scared of the display or me. I gently walked over to the pup holding the tip of the spike in my mouth. I gave them a reassuring look and then went to their wound and poured the liquid onto the pup’s wound. It whimpered a bit because it stung a little but the wound started to close up rapidly leaving a small cut that no longer bled.

The pup yipped in excitement that its wound was healed and rammed straight into my chest rubbing against me and purring in contentment. I was shocked and first and stilled but then I purred back and rubbed my head against the pup. I felt a piece of my heart come back together.

I eventually laid back down with the pup curled into side. We slept peaceful for the rest of the trip. I planned to talk to the pup after we landed to see where the poor thing was going. I would be damned if I let the pup off on their on. I would do my best to help them and stay under the radar.

----

After a few more hours the pup and me woke to the sound of pilot saying that they were about to land. I gently nudged the pup to stand up and to follow me as I grabbed my things with my teeth and managed to slip the bag over my big wolf head. I signaled for the pup to grab their things but the pup just put their head down lowly. I nudged them gently giving them another wolfy smile. They smiled back to me then they slowly walked over to me and rubbed against my side.

My heart swelled with love for the pup. I began to rub my head against the pup. I didn’t want to leave them behind. I had only just met the little thing but I had already grown to love the little angel. The pup looked up at me with tears running down their little wolf face. I whimpered a bit and rubbed against the pup again.

I then decided to try and mind-link the pup. I reached in my mind trying to find the scent of the pup. Its scent was like fresh morning dew mixed with the fresh-bloomed flowers. I saw where the scent showed representation of what it smelled like. I reached out to it and cuddled the little ball and then showered it motherly love.

The pup immediately granted me access to link them. It yipped in excitement for out newly formed link and bond.

“Hello little angel.” I said sweetly.

‘H-hi.’ The pup giggled gently.

‘What’s your name little one?’ I asked softly.

‘Ryder.’ He said shyly.

‘Hi Ryder, my name Mika.’ I said sweetly to him.

‘Mika?’Ryder said.

‘Yes Ryder?’

‘Can I c-call you mommy?’Ryder said nervously.

‘M-mommy?’I said. I was shocked that he asked to call me that. I had always wanted a child but never thought I would have one. James had said he didn’t want a kid.

‘I would love if you called me Mommy!’I said cheerfully.

‘Okay Mommy!!’Ryder said then giggled.

I smiled when he had called me Mommy. I felt happier than I have ever before.

Alright then, little one we need to get ready to get exit the plane. Go ahead and hop onto my back and I’ll get us out safety.’ I said quickly through the mind-link.

‘Okay Mommy!’ Ryder said cheerfully as he quickly climbed my back careful of my scratch from when I had my spikes out.

After he was settled on to my back properly, I was careful to hide behind a couple of large suitcases near the exit so we could make a clean break into the forest nearby.

As they opened the back of the plane I stiffened for a quick second because I smelled another wolf but I quickly shook it out. I had a pup to protect and I wasn’t about to lose him. I waited as the workers had turned around and took off towards the forest. I ran like lightning to the forest making sure that my pup stayed on my back. All he did was giggle from going so fast.

After about 10 seconds I heard loud scream from male that sounded like a little girl when they screamed. I continued on though because as soon as I would hit the forest I would be home free. I heard several more screams before I was in the forest. As soon as my paws hit the forest my pup and I howled in victory.

We ran further through the forest feeling the breeze through our fur. We relished in the feel of the breeze in our fur and all the amazing smells that surrounded us. We ran and ran for what felt like hours. We ended stopping to get a nice cool drink of water by a stream nearby.

After we had a nice relaxing drink we laid down by the river a bathed in the sun. Loving the feel of the heat through our fur. We lightly snoozed ready to run when needed.

Dream---

“N-no! Why would you guys do this?! Why did you do this?” I screamed angry at the sight before me. I was back to the day when I caught my fiancé cheating on me with my best friend.

“Why? You ask why? Because we hate you! You are scum on this earth! You are a freak! Why would anyone care for you!?” Liza screamed back.

I was hurt by her words. She had meant the world to me yet, she betrayed me. And then she tried to make it seem okay!

“Liar! You are the scum! You are the one that fucked my fiancé, my mate!! You had the nerve to do that! You are the trash that doesn’t burn! You defied the Moon Goddess and slept with another’s mate while we were mated! So don’t come after me!” I screamed anger filling my body.

“W-what? But he was not meant for you! You do not deserve him! I deserve him! I deserve the Luna tittle! I’m the one who he cares for! Y-you are j-just…” She said with her voice beginning to shake.

“What? What am I?” I asked aggravated.

“You’re a hybrid!. A hybrid that got her parents and pack killed. You are trash. So many died because of you. Your just used goods. No ones going to want you!! You will be alone your whole life. You will be despised by all.” Liza screamed loudly with venom in her voice.

I was immediately shocked because of the words she just said. I was hurt to her, her say such things. I was reminded of memories that I wanted to keep down and away. I broke down crying while all the memories of that time came rushing back at me.

Dream over----

I was awoken to the loudly whimpering of my pup as he tried to wake me. He had tears streaming down his little face. My heart squeezed at the sight of my baby crying. I changed back to my human form quickly and wrapped my arms around my baby. He changed to his human form as soon as he entered my arms.

“What’s wrong little angel?” I asked worried.

“Y-you were c-crying.” He said as he hiccupped.

My heart squeezed so much harder as I found that my baby had been crying for me. I squeezed him tighter into my chest while purring lightly to calm him down. It seemed to have a effect in calming him down.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t cry baby boy. I’m okay, I just had a nightmare that’s all.” I said reassuringly.

“B-but mommy you were in so m-much p-pain. I c-could feel it.” Ryder said while hiccupping a bit recovering from his previous sobs.

“It’s okay baby. Hey, look at me little angel. See I’m okay now. Were both safe and sound, so have no worries baby boy. Anyways, are you hungry baby?” I said with a gently, soothing voice.

“Okay mommy. Um I am hungry. Can we go eat mommy?” Ryder said in cute little voice.

“Of course baby, what would you like to eat?” I said encouragingly.

“Um, can we get McDonalds mommy?” Ryder asked with pleading eyes.

“Um, hmm?” I said a little unsure. I wanted to get my baby some food for him since it would be easier to eat but I was a little worried. I was still unsure because I didn’t want to be found by James but then again. He would have thought me dead since my truck is in a lake. And on top of that my mark had disappeared so he wouldn’t be able to feel where I was.

“Alright little angel. Lets get some proper clothes on us and then we’ll head to McDonalds.” I said cheerfully.

“Okay mommy!” Ryder cheered happily.

I smiled at him before I began to dig into my bag and pull out some clothes. I grabbed a large shirt and pair of shorts. I grabbed a smaller shirt for my little man and put it on him tying the bottom on the side in a bun. I then grabbed another pair of shorts and ripped some of the bottom off so that it would look better on him. I then tightened up the inside clip and made it so that it was nice and snug on his little body.

I then got out my brush and brush both my hair and his. I was careful to not pull to hard and to quickly and gently get out the knots. After I thought we looked decent enough I picked up my little angel and began to walk through the forest to the sound of the road. We traveled quickly to the road since my little pup was hungry. After we got to the road I sniffed out a McDonald’s that was only a mile away.

After I looked for any cars, I zipped across the road carefully making sure Ryder was secure in my arms. After we made it across the road and into another forest and walked a couple of feet into the woods and then I put Ryder onto my back and made sure he was on properly and ran quickly to the McDonald’s. I had made sure to bring my stuff with me when we began our run. We quickly made it up McDonalds and straightened ourselves out before we walked in. We were immediately greeted with the delicious smell of greasy food. Our stomachs immediately growled and we looked at each other then began laughing hard.

“Baby boy before we eat, do you need to go to the bathroom?” I asked.

“No mommy. But you can go I’ll be out here waiting for you mommy. Can I go ahead and order mommy?” Ryder said sweetly.

“Alright. I know I won’t be able to change your mind. I’ll be in and out before you know it. Go ahead and order. If anyone asks say your mommy’s going to pay for it.” I said warily.

“Okay Mommy!” Ryder said cheerfully.

I quickly went to the bathroom and while I was washing my hands I heard a commotion outside.

“Mommy!!” Ryder yelled out in a frightened voice.

“RYDER!” I screamed as fear and anger swirled inside me. I was met with the sight of a man holding my babies arm to tight and in his face. I was beyond pissed that this male touched my baby.

“Get your damn hands off my baby!” I yelled holding back a growl as there were humans present. I immediately tore his hand off my child and pushed him away.

“Baby? Baby are you okay? Let me see your arm baby.” I said trying to stay calm and sooth my terrified pup.

“H-he scared me mommy. And he g-grabbed my a-arm really hard.” Ryder said still scared. I whispered comforting words, which seemed to calm him quiet a bit. I looked down at his arm and he had a large bruise on his arm which made me growl. I was able to suppress it enough so the humans didn’t hear but the wolf in front of me heard well. I saw the look of fear on his face as I glared up at him.


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37 Reviews


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Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:05 am
Louisiana15 says...



The use of personification is wonderful! I love the metamorphosis from human to part-wolf to true-wolf; it adds considerable emotion to your work as each form pertains to a certain emotion or event. I see the human form as weakness, comfort, and fear; the part wolf as anger and concern; and finally, the true wolf is confidence, protectiveness, and fury.

The raw storyline, the fear everyone in a relationship has, is so moving because no one wants to be cheated on, no one wants to be betrayed, and no one wants to be alone. I feel like this story can relate to everyone's lives and not necessarily as literally spoken, but also metaphorically, symbolically, etc.

By mentioning that Mika was being blamed for causing deaths, my curiosity sparked and I really do want to know about her past. Her past is so understated that one must wonder what happened to have caused her to have the emotions she bears and react the way she does.

Adding Ryder was genius--human innocence in the perfect form while also revealing the lives of wolves: the she-wolves care for the young with fierce intensity. Characterization can be made with the explicit detail you provide for us, yet is incomplete from the ambiguity.

This was great!




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37 Reviews


Points: 1634
Reviews: 37

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Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:05 am
Louisiana15 wrote a review...



The use of personification is wonderful! I love the metamorphosis from human to part-wolf to true-wolf; it adds considerable emotion to your work as each form pertains to a certain emotion or event. I see the human form as weakness, comfort, and fear; the part wolf as anger and concern; and finally, the true wolf is confidence, protectiveness, and fury.

The raw storyline, the fear everyone in a relationship has, is so moving because no one wants to be cheated on, no one wants to be betrayed, and no one wants to be alone. I feel like this story can relate to everyone's lives and not necessarily as literally spoken, but also metaphorically, symbolically, etc.

By mentioning that Mika was being blamed for causing deaths, my curiosity sparked and I really do want to know about her past. Her past is so understated that one must wonder what happened to have caused her to have the emotions she bears and react the way she does.

Adding Ryder was genius--human innocence in the perfect form while also revealing the lives of wolves: the she-wolves care for the young with fierce intensity. Characterization can be made with the explicit detail you provide for us, yet is incomplete from the ambiguity.

This was great!




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Thu Sep 13, 2018 9:59 pm
AstralHunter wrote a review...



Salutations!

I'm a sucker for fantasy fiction, and I admit, as soon as I saw "shifter", I was interested. Now, when I review something like short stories, I usually read the whole thing first and then comment, but since I'm slightly pressed for time, I'll work through the story and comment as I go instead. Don't worry; I shan't repeat things unnecessarily.


It's immediately apparent that you don't yet have a proper grasp on where exactly commas are needed. They're the most common punctuation mark, not only because they're used often, but also because they have varied uses. For example, a form of address is always flanked by a comma (unless it's at the start or end of a sentence), and it often separates clauses, though what kind, you'd be wiser to look up yourself than rely on my very limited knowledge on the matter. As I said, I shan't repeat things if it's not needed, so note that you'll have to revise your entire story when adding the missing commas.

I can tell you're not comfortable with exposition either, since you present information in a rushed, unnatural manner. Though I agree you shouldn't take forever to establish the setting, characters, plot, etc. readers will notice if you force your characters to say things. Take your time and incorporate information organically, regardless of whether it's through dialogue or narration. Take Mika's and Liza's names. Sure, it's likely that Liza would speak Mika's name when trying to wake her, but in reality, names are used very rarely when we're in a familiar setting, especially if we already have the other person's attention. Wait for a more convenient time to introduce characters by name, rather than thinking, "Oh, I must reveal my characters' names as soon as possible!"

To continue with that topic, Mika's background was described in a clumsy fashion. Forgetting about your wedding is at least still reasonable (my father and his best man both overslept, though, unlike lucky Mika, here), but the parts about not tolerating disrespect, alluding to childhood traumas, and already revealing her lycanthropy? Revealing all of that this early is bad enough, but within a single paragraph and without any prior introduction, this just feels horribly forced and cringy. I don't mean to come across as offensive, but there isn't a subtle way of telling someone their storytelling needs considerable revision. The pacing is off completely, so I recommend reading other stories, especially published novels, to get a better idea of how to introduce information.

...The infidelity is unexpected. And I don't mean to say that it was a good twist; it was generic, had no leading up to the moment, and has a justification that makes no sense. Liza and the fiancé could be in love, sure, but what made them think it was a good idea to have sex: A, in the bride's kitchen, B, on the morning of the wedding, and C, while the bride is in the shower? During moments like these, you want the reader to be distraught or enraged or the like, but not only does the reader not care about Mika (it's much too early for that), it feels like a parody of such scenes, which is more likely to cause the reader to laugh than feel whatever emotion you intended.

Hmm. The dialogue is bad. That's all there is to it. We're supposed to remain positive when reviewing, and while I certainly shan't be negative or insulting (that's never acceptable), I can't sugarcoat this. I suggest you unlearn what you assimilated regarding dialogue and relearn from a more appropriate source. Pretending this isn't bad would be a disservice to you, because sometimes, you need a person to make you aware of the reality of things before you can improve.

Actually, it's better if you just take a step back and reconsider everything about your style. You don't need to scrap everything, since there is loads of potential here, but how you implement them is what will make the difference. In all honesty, this seems like you've taken the worst clichés of animes and condensced them into a single work. Let's work off the supposition that this is indeed the case: Animes aren't inherently bad or cringy or painful to watch, so if you base your style off that, your writing wouldn't be either. However, many animes are lacking in their execution, and it seems as if those are what influenced you the most - again, working off the assumption that this is your inspiration. We all need to start somewhere, and you've at least taken that first step. Your next ones are research; research what is good and what is bad, and extrapolate from your findings what you ought to and ought not to do. Only once you have a sound foundation should you start building.


I read the remainder of the story, rest assured, and there is potential here. Plot holes abound, but I shan't even get to those yet. Just focus on improving your basic skills: grammar, punctuation, pacing, and dialogue (this one is actually fairly complex, but I mean basic dialogue, here). Once you've got these covered, you can then focus on more advanced skills. For now, though, there would be little point in that - with the bonds between the werewolves causing physical pain if severed and the bizarre shapeshifting, it's easy to tell that you have creativity. Just start with building the elementary skills, and the rest will follow soon enough.

~ Hunter




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Sun Aug 26, 2018 7:43 pm
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1nspire wrote a review...



I only read the beginning of this piece, but from what I saw it was a great start! I like the way the characters have clear personalities and everything is well described. I'm not very familiar with this genre, but I'll try to give you some tips.

The main piece of advice I have is to make sure you proofread and edit a lot. There were a few grammar mistakes, which is normal, especially when you're working on a long piece like this one. Here are a few quick grammar edits:

"I was laying *there *miserably" instead of "I was laying their miserable"


"I yelled, afraid" instead of "I yelled afraid"


Change "I had finally got everything in order" to "I had finally gotten everything in order"

"A lot of it had to do with what happened to me as a child" instead of "All lot of it had to do because what happened to me as child."

I would also suggest rewording a couple sentences just to make everything flow more.
For example:

"As I exited the bathroom fully dressed I smelled fresh pancakes, it made my stomach growl loudly." This sounds a little rushed. I would recommend something like "When I exited the bathroom, I was greeted by the smell of fresh pancakes; it was enough to make my stomach growl.'

That's all I have for suggestions. I hope this was helpful. Great work on this piece, and I hope you have a great day!





If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
— Woodrow Wilson