Published June 9, 2008
I want my writing to sparkle
and to leap off of the page.
It would disco dance and backflip
‘til my reader was engaged.
Words would visit the thesaurus
and then right before my eyes,
they’d find their super synonym
and metamorphosise.
To alliteration’s beatboxing,
syllables would bop about,
and while each phrase jigged into place,
punctuation would clap it out.
Whether stressed or laid-back,
words would work out to the beat,
and waltzing pairs of contrasts
would soon form their own conceit.
Different images collide
and find they can compare,
so similes and metaphors
soon glitter in the air.
Sentences would join together
in a lively conga line,
then, by themselves, form perfect
little groups of eight or nine.
My thoughts would throw a ceilidh,
reeling round my reader’s head,
then they’d zoom straight in their ears
and become their thoughts instead.
But some are only meant for me
and when back on Earth again,
my thoughts remain inside my brain
and I haven’t moved my pen.
I wish my writing sparkled,
I wish I didn’t have to think,
I wish the words would do it all themselves
and express my thoughts in ink!
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141,698 Literary Works • 675,577 Reviews
I think this earns a....
Bravo!
Seriously, very well done indeed. It captivated me, at any rate. Perhaps because I am a champion of loving a good, strong rhyme scheme. It's an art itself to master, and also intensely fun to write! Man, I loved this stanza:
Great- although is the last word a spelling mistake? I don't think there's an 'e' on the end....I am, of course not about to let you completely away with this without a constructive comment or two, so I would watch your rhythm in this. It wasn't a big setback in reading this, but to make it perfect, read it aloud and count out the syllables of each line, and devise a consistent pattern. The reader won't know what hit them, and it'll make those reviewers very happy indeed. Including me!
The theme was superb, and I was very engaged by the imagery and visual pictures of moment you created. The title was also great- as soon as I read it on the 'recent topics' board I had to read it that second. In Ireland we have lots of Ceilidhs and I love them. Sorry, you're probably thinking, get. back. to. my. poem. Eimear- and I shall!
The last stanza won it for me. All I've left to say is I've got very carried away by this and I don't mind it one bit. Well done.
*Clicks Gold star
Eimear xx