Hi Sam!
So as far as prologues go, I'm not really sure I generally like them because they're not always necessary in my opinion. I think obviously it's something I'll have to make judgement on after reading the rest of the story but as this is rather short you might want to think about including it in chapter one. I'm only saying this because in this week's Squills Article (the YWS newsletter) I did a Mythbusting article which talked about using prologues which you can look at if you want. Now, onto your piece, I'll start off with what I liked. I think this is pretty intriguing for a prologue, I mean sometimes prologues can be quite info-dumpy but this was concise and straight to the point which is great! It leaves me wanting to read on and I think you should definitely continue this story.
As for improvements, this piece is really short so I'm probably going to talk more about what you could add in to this than what could be changed. So right now I don't really think there's enough about how this character feels. Perhaps he's feeling really trapped or confused or shocked- but I, as a reader, don't know this because it's not mentioned! I really think this is an important detail to include because it lets us empathise with this character and it just gives us a clearer idea as to what's going on.
I feel that there's quite a bit of telling, not showing in this piece. For example,
Sam made sure not to make haste movement, from what he could tell, he was a prisoner.
'from what he could tell, he was a prisoner' is a very small little bit to explain this situation. When you're writing, you want the readers to figure out things really, not the characters. So instead I think you need to talk more about why he thinks he's being kept prisoner. Is he in a really dark, cold room? You mentioned something about chains which gives us an idea of it, but just more things like that to explain what's going on is great rather than just telling it.
Lastly, this kind of links to the above point I've just made, but more descriptions! Of everything! Talk about what the place looks like, smells like, sounds like. Really try and put yourself into this room that your character is in and explain it. Maybe even more description about the character too, just anything so the reader has something to picture in their head because right now it's feeling very empty.
Overall, I think you've got the foundations to make a good prologue/story but now you need to add in the meat of it! Think details, descriptions, maybe even add in a bit of dialogue between the prison keeper and the character. Also, as this is in the first person, it's a great opportunity to really go into depth about how they feel. Are they scared? Alone? Write about it! Anyways, I hope this review helped, feel free to PM me with any questions you have or if you'd like another review on anything.
Keep writing!
~ArcticMonkey x
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