Published December 1, 2006
Take an axe
And cut me deep
Cut me cut me
Till I scream
Give me pain
Make me cry
Test my patience
Till I die
Hit me hard
Give me wounds
Torture me torture me
Until I swoon
And so they say
This is life
I ask my self
Where's my pride?
If i committed
A sin so bad
Give me death
Let them be glad
I am a sinner
Hear My Plea!
Take my blood
And set me free
But if you can
Help me please
Forgive me, forgive me
Give me peace!
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140,588 Literary Works • 673,542 Reviews
Samar--
Welcome to the YWS Poetry forums.
The good news is: I commend your understanding of rhyme, where the Enter key is, and how to capitalize a letter. Combining these elements must truly be a rewarding experience.
The bad news is: this is irreparable navel-gazing that could not hold the attention of the most self-pitying users. It could not pass off as poetry in any sane universe.
Take some time, read what has been posted here, and what recieves good reviews before contributing this type of junk any further.
All the best,
Brad
Hey Samar!
Welcome to the site.
That was a nice poem,but I felt the rhyming was forced.
In this para the words cut and me was used too often and it sounded very childish.
I think 'myself' is one word.
The poem needed some more puntuations instead of only exclamation and question marks.And every letter ofeach line doesn't have to be in caps.
The ending of the poem was good.
Keep writing and posting it in here.
Enjoy!
-Anii.