Prosperity (or A Promising Site For Development)

I liked the feel and imagery in this poem. Though you did warn about language, I don't feel like it adds to the piece in any way. I feel like it was more just randomly placed there. Besides that little thing I really liked it.

This is a little bare for me, but probably because my work tends to be overly liguistic - I like more flow. The poem seems a little short for the extreme range of emotion. I feel a little more expansion on the emotions of the poem would definitely benefit. Aside from that, I really do like the idea behind the poem...I'm sure a lot of people feel this way and you've put forth the feeling in a very interesting way. Even though I over-word my stuff, I do like a lot of the words you chose, and where you decided to place them, especially the last two stanzas.

your imagery is simply beautyfull, i can perfectly relate to the character who needs to go somwhere green, somewhere better. it is really a good poem, it flows and acts as one, creating a scene which is easily followed but yet has a deeper meaning

I was kind-of lost in this. I thought you put good word choice and placement in it.

I found the ending kind of funny: not because of the actual piece. The actual piece was powerful, and very serious. But as I read it, Tom Waits sang "when all the world is green". Perfect timing right there.

Anyways- onto the actual review.

It flows right through me, You say "it" several times throughout the poem, without ever actually making it entirely clear what "it" is. Is it the neurosis you reference later? Is it her? I think that this would be stronger with the actual meaning instead of withholding it, because it is, in a way, the subject of the entire poem.
This Urbane Landscape, Did you mean "Urban" here? "Urbane" means elegant, whereas "Urban" means modern.
This Concrete Jungle, Personally, I think that you could replace this line with something else-- we've all heard this phrase before, and despite the awesome imagery it brings up, it's a little cliche.
This Fucking Wasteland.

I feel it?in my brain;
Those damn microwaves, This line feels a bit disjointed to me. Not because of rhythm or anything, but the actual concept. I think that if you want to use this image, you need to elaborate so the reader can know the entire meaning that you're trying to portray.
Neurosis grips me,
Am I really here?

Look at the grateful, I feel like you place too many positive connotations with the word "grateful" here. You want us to resent these people, it seems, yet you give them a nice light here. I feel like there should be something about them being too easily satisfied in life, or ignorant, maybe even just simple-minded. Perhaps I read you wrong in your tone, but that's what I got from it.
See them commuting,
Those glass buildings;
Their false Renaissance. Really like this last line

It gets the better of me, (There's the "it" again )
I feel so Cold; Capitalizing "Cold" here and "Frightened" felt a bit weird to me. I think that while it gives some nice emphasis, you could instead italicize it or something. The capitalization kind of feels weird rhythmically, I think.
Cold and Frightened,
Is this all there is? Simple little line, but carries a lot-- nice.

Nice set-up for the next stanza... provides a great contrast.

I see her coming,
I see her loving,
She warms me up.
One day we’ll escape; I think that if you gave a (really) brief mention as to where you'd escape from, it would bring a lot more emotion to the line. I know that you've been doing that for the majority of the piece, but being articulate about it in this last stanza would bring a lot.
somewhere green. Nice simplicity, again. Evokes nice images, but allows the reader to imagine at the same time.

*thanks*

Thnks for the advice!

Hello there Since you're relatively new, welcome to YWS!

At first I really did not get what was going on in this poem. I think the major problem is the choppiness of everything. It made everything very robotic. What liked about it was the depth and how well thought out each stanza is, despite the choppiness.
Keep writing and good luck