)Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Hmm...so just a couple of random scenes it sounds like by the way that is written. I can only get a sense of the loosest of plot lines in here and beyond that I see pretty much nothing concrete in here. But it does flow pretty well and the dialogue seem to be pretty realistic so it was a fun little story to read regardless.
My bike screeches to a halt.
Okay that's kind of a very standard sounding opening line that's not the catchiest nor the dullest so its sort of in the middle there.
The tall, imposing Williams house looms overhead, the family Porsche lies right in front of me on the driveway.
Okay...now this gets a little interesting.
A boy reclines on the hood of the jet-black sports car, leaned up on the windshield with his arms propped comfortably behind his head. Dark sunglasses with a thick white frame rest on his nose…but other than that, he’s got nothing on but smily-face boxer shorts.
The boy sits up, and with a long, french-manicured index finger, lowers his shades.
His bright hazel eyes are rimmed with black.
Oh God. Not the eyeliner again.
Well that's certainly some great description right there although I wouldn't recommend reclining on the hood of a metal car in the sunlight because that will actually burn you when the metal gets hot.
“So, Todd-O, are we still on for tonight?”
He nods.
“Me. You. The mall. 8 o’clock. I’m so there.”
Sounds like some reasonably realistic dialogue.
A while later, a kid on his skateboard across the street looks at us, his jaw dropping and right eyebrow rising dramatically. Mrs. Peccadeddy’s cat Skipper had the misfortune of being dumb enough to sit in the middle of the sidewalk to watch birds…and eventually barreled over and landed upon.
Thus begins the epic battle between man and dust-bunny-eater.
Okay that sounds pretty interesting and there's a nice but of humor packed in there too which is always a nice touch.
“Welcome to Hot Topic. Do you prefer throat-slitting or strangulation?” The guy mumbles.
Customer service at its finest, this is.
Well that's some interesting customer service.
The kid sneers, then grabs my American Express and stuffs my shirt and nail polish into a bag and throws it over the counter.
Okay that seems to be some fairly standard fare.
Aaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall like I said not much happens but that's okay because it was definitely pretty funny and it seemed like a small scene form a larger novel where the characters are just lazing around. And it was pretty well written so great job.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 317314
Reviews: 4431
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