Hello again Elliot. It seems that we have met again on this equal plane, where all super villains and anti-heroes meet and superheroes stumble around half drunkenly in the background. Well you know what that means: it's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.
You knew I was going to love this chapter anyways but let's talk first about what I didn't like/was sort of really confused by. Who tf died man? I am assuming it's the father because you hinted at that before and it's possible the old lady and the demons both got things messed up. It sounds like this is still being told when Kale is young and this is happening moments after God goes out the window. I'm thinking the invisible man combined with the mother in mourning bit, is because she still doesn't want to admit Kale exists. That's just how I read it but the lack of anything substantial makes it a bit hard to follow.
Moving on to a couple of points I did like.
It smelled of ginseng and herbs, like a witches cauldron if it were dressed for Chinese New Year.
~So appetizing. Just great that I just had breakfast and now I'm reading about blood and murder and ginseng. The most unsettling smell is the ginseng because I was looking forward to the murder and blood. This is one hell of a way to set the scene, just throwing an entire potpourri mixture at someone and then three paragraphs later killing someone. Maybe it's the continued absurdity and humor that draws me to your pieces but who will really ever know.
This one brought up questions too.
Adriel shoved his hands in his pockets, pulling out a lighter and a pack. “Nothing here’s flammable, right?” He asked Pax, glancing about.
“Would be a little more proper to smoke outside,” He replied, frankly.
~I'm just guessing here, but legit everything in that store is flammable Adriel. Oh you dropped your match on the ground, crushed it with your heel, but there was a bit of oil on the floor. There go the curtains and the table, up in flames in smoke and lead to the Mrs. Li saying bastard under her breath. The possibilities here are endless and if Mrs. Li hadn't come out when she did, the whole place would have been burned down. Pax's reply is particularly humorous, like 'man you probably shouldn't smoke in here but I'm not going to fight you on it because I want to make it back home without getting killed.' And that is essentially the vibes I get from all of the characters.
Well someone actually made it here before me this time and Lauren has hit all of the nails on the head. I think I'm going to be heading out now and I'll see you later, alligator.
Love,
Lizz
Queen of Everything
Points: 650
Reviews: 766
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