This is Kaos here for a review!
So I love it when there are short things that contain punchlines. I say it a lot that I hate it when poetry focuses on the ending line or lines of the poem, but that's more of the case when something is long and drawn out. I enjoyed the content and the simplicity of that but I didn't really like the structure that you chose for it? I felt that it didn't capture the poem with the strongest potential or emotional impact and that you can do something else that has something stronger to it. Structurally, I think you can still do something with this poem without it having to just be standard, but I didn't find this to have more impact than you would if you just typed it out.
I'd suggest playing around with it in that aspect but I didn't really find many problems when it comes to the actual poem but I did want to touch on the meaning. I took it as the speaker often putting this other person (whom I'm assuming they have a romantic relationship with? It could also just be some other form, but that's how I interpreted it and applied it myself.) on a pedestal or acting as if the other person is better than them. It's something that's subtly put in the poem without having to be spelled out, so I liked that.
I liked this poem also because it happened to hit me hard on a spiritual level since I've experienced or seen these kinds of relationships whether they're romantic or platonic, happen before. It has a lot to do with self-worth compared to other people and I think you did enough with this just for it to be powerful and I'd say to keep the length the same. Short and to the point, though I'd like to see you play with the structure.
I hope I helped and have a great day!
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
Donate