For Him

I like the snow a lot.
But it's bad cause our country has no snow this year.
I hope there comes snow though....

Well of to your poem....I like how you use such strong words.
It really fits in this one.

I can felt it in my heart how you feel about this.

My favorite line is ''True hope and joy and laughter''

Because all those three things are the truest that can excist.

Well the only thing I can say is that I hope you don't quit with writing
poetry because you are great!

Lots of Love; Catie.

Hi!!

I really enjoyed this piece and with some elbow grease and work, I think this will turn out to be an excellent piece of writing. I loved the imagery with snow, frost bite, and ice. It was a vivid stanza, but I think the stanzas before and after it feel a little forced, possibly just a personal opinion, but they don't seem as free flowing. The line "I spoke of myself to be mad" was a tad confusing, as I am not quite sure what you are implying here. Overall excellent work!

Thanks for the great read,
Tiffany

Hello! I really enjoyed your poem, particularly the metaphor of the ice/snow/frostbite (although I think that to make your poem stronger it needs to be integrated more into the idea of your poem. Connect it more to what is going on.) I really can't spot many grammatical errors or punctuation mistakes. The ones I do see are in your last stanza:

Because of him,

I am able to experience true bliss.

True hope and joy and laughter.

(...)

worthy of mere existance.

First of all, "existance" is spelled wrong; it should be existence. The rest of the mistakes are punctuation ones, which are quite common and very easy to fix.

I am able to experience true bliss.

True hope and joy and laughter.

After that first line, you need a comma or a colon or a hyphen to connect the two phrases. They are connected ideas, so they should be connected in writing. The usage of the period cuts off each phrase so they are individual sentences, which makes your flowy-style of a poem harsher sounding. However, because of the period, you probably want a pause, so I suggest using a hyphen or a colon. The colon is because you are listing things afterwards that relate (ex. I like: apples and grapes and berries). That works here. The hyphen sort of cuts off the thought but still makes it all one sentence, which I think could work quite well here.

Those were the only things I noticed here; nice job! You delivered an effective, bittersweet poem. It was very well done. Sending virtual hugs over the internet!

I like it. it seems to come from a place of empowerment after a troubling relationship. we all think we are immune to such things until it happens to us. You really captured the retrospective disdain we have for our past selves that we would allow someone so unnecessary into our lives but we also know that it has made us who we are. I really like the flow of the line from "though a trip through the snow" great alliterative composition and the continuing lines work extremely well "frostbite" and "white ice" this was very succinct and very good

Hello there, SARAHJO!

I'm RSTorres and I'm here to give you your review Do not fret because I usually only give positive reviews.

I connected with this poem in a deep emotional level. The fact that the imagery you have written here was so vivid is a great way for you to know that you are doing something with your writing right. I mean, the best kind of writing are the ones where you can give your readers the picture you are trying to create.

Your flow and grammar usage is great and I have no comments or critiques to give you about them. Your rhyme scheme is impeccable and I believe you are a talented writer. I like how well you use the pauses here.

Overall, you did a superb job and I sincerely hope to read more work of yours in the near future.