Chapter One- Pollen Party

by RyiaGreene

Published September 7, 2013

E - Everyone

In Faery Tales: Faerie of Fate

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"Hurry up or we are going to be late!" That's the first voice I hear upon waking. It was Jade, the only fairy in the forest who had a spare key to my house. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me tell you who I am.

My name is Willow and I'm a fairy. No, I'm not your Tinkerbell stereotype fairy. She doesn't really exists. I'm just your average six inch fairy, with short layered white blond hair. Oh not to mention I have gorgeous azure blue wings sticking out of my back.

I live in a forest like most fairies. It's a magnificent forest and is very abundant in both animal and plant life. It's name is Litha. It's a large forest filled with tall red oak trees and is covered in a fine layer of soft moss. It's home to many other trees as well. From pine to ash, even willow trees grow here. Rivers of crystal clear, blue water 0][]weave all throughout the forest. It has been said that this place has been untouched by humans for at least 100 years. They used to live here long ago, but I'm pretty sure they have become extinct now... Anyway, I should probably let you get back to the story.

"Willow, would you hurry up!" I heard Jade yelling at me from my living room. I walked down my winding stairs to meet her. The staircase was made from an old twisted oak branch. I walk into the room to see Jade resting in front of my pebble crafted fireplace. I yawned and walked over to my couch before falling down to rest on the mushroom cushions. I stretched out and tousled my hair before looking in Jade's direction.

She sure seemed pretty impatient, she kept tapping her foot against the floor. I wasn't sure what was important about a Saturday, its supposed to be a day for being lazy and sleeping in. But for her to show up as early as she did I knew it was important.

"Willow you can't be loafing about! You need to be getting dressed." She moved off of the fireplace and came over to me. She pulled me up from the couch and rushed me towards the stairs leading back up to my room. "Now get up there and make yourself look presentable!"

"What's the huge rush for?" I asked her as I walked to my sea-shell basin, "It's a Saturday, we should just be relaxing. I hate being rushed." I scowled at my Jade through the reflection of the mirror.

A few minutes later we were headed out of the house. I chose to wear my favorite spring dress. It was a long flowing purple dress made from a calla lily, and showed off my curves in a nice and appealing way. We took off flying towards a clump of oak trees about a mile from my house.

"OK, the suspense is killing me" I glanced at her from my peripherals as we flew through the forest, "Where exactly are we headed to and why is it so important?" I had asked this last sentence in a somewhat heated tone, I was still cranky for being woken up early.

"Willow don't you remember anything?" She implored me as we dodged countless trees, going deeper into the heart of Litha, "Today is the annual Pollen Party!" She practically squealed the last sentence.

Of course! How in the hell could I have forgotten such an important day? The Pollen Party took place ever spring here in Litha. All of the fairies, and a huge majority of the animals would gather in the center of the forest, which was "guarded" by a circle of oak trees. The circle would have just about every type of flower imaginable, such as: Calla lilies, roses, tulips, and even some bouvardia. It's my second favorite annual events to attend. At least I have Jade, all organized like she is, to help keep me from becoming completely forgetful.

The two of us have been friends for quite a long time, as far back as I can remember, since I first ended up in Litha. I didn't always live here, to be honest I don't even remember how I got here. I technically an orphan, I lost my parents when I was still a youngling. I met Jade in front of a dried up gourd (which later became my home) after I had wandered the forest for two long days. She saw me and talked with me before taking me back home with her. Her parents, after learning my story, took me and and treated me as their own for which I'll always be grateful. Jade and I had pretty much been inseparable ever since.

We began flying faster through the forest, dodging towering oaks that surrounded the circle. Our wings trailing glittering dust behind us. As we flew we began to see more fairies already waiting for the party to begin. They sat mingling and drinking the sweet nectar from the surrounding trees. I decided to let my mind wander as we approached the patch. I looked down at the mossy forest floor to see the procession of animals that were making their way as well. Bears, snakes, swans, and even otters; These were just a few of the animals that proceeded through the gap in the trees that stood as an entrance.

Jade and I arrived at the Patch of Litha an hour earlier than planned, giving us time to go and mingle. I looked around, hoping to spot the small group of fairies I called my friends. I spotted them almost immediately, standing just outside of the Patch, closer to the trees. My group only consisted of three other fairies besides Jade and myself. Winter, her husband Jax, and our newest addition to the group -- Arrow.

I was greeted by hugs from Winter almost immediately. She took a few steps back after her hugs to assess my outfit. " Wow" she exclaimed "I absolutely LOVE that dress! You're so going to have to let me borrow it or try and teach me how to make one myself. I just wish I was better at crafting instead of always injuring myself in the process." She wiggled her fingers at me and giggled. I could see all of the nicks she had from previous sewing attempts.

Jax came up behind her and kissed her atop her snowy white head. "You might be clumsy at sewing, but you sure can cook one hell of a meal." He snuggled up against her and she turned to kiss him lightly on the lips.

I turned away, my cheeks turning red. I always felt uncomfortable seeing the two of them getting all smushy. I noticed Arrow chuckling quietly as he saw my blush.

"So Arrow, what do you think of so far? I asked him, trying to strike up a conversation while ignoring the make-out fest that had taken place behind me.

"It really is a nice forest" he said as he looked out around the patch, admiring the trees and the fruit that grew on them, "I mean I've only been here a week so far so I know there is still much for me to see. I think I'm adjusting fairly well though. I'm glad I met you guys or I'd still be a recluse right now!" He laughed heartily.

He wasn't joking about being a shut in. Arrow was an artist, he used to stay holed u in his tree all day and did nothing but paint. But now that he lived here in Litha he didn't spend so much of his time indoors. He still drew, but now he wandered about outside so that he had all sorts of inspiration.

Winter and Jax finally un-locked their lips and joined in on our conversation. The four of us chatted for another 10 minutes when we heard a bell ring out around the circle. It was the signal that the pollination was to begin! We glanced up at the blue sky to see Serena, our "mayor" of the forest, raising her hands to silence us so that she could speak.

"Welcome every one to yet another year of pollination" her voice carried all throughout the secret circle echoing all around us, " I'm very happy with out turn out this year and I hope you all enjoy the festivities. Now let the celebration begin!" She threw her hands in the air.

I glanced up in time to see thousands of bees and butterflies soaring straight towards the bare patch of earth that would become home to the new flowers. This was the reason we were gathered. The bees veered to the left, the butterflies the right. They soared a few inches of the ground, about to release the pollen they already had stuck to their bodies. They began to release the pollen showering the whole field in their golden dust. The insects were not of normal size, they were roughly the size of a squirrel.

Pollen rained down in huge fluffy drops all around us ending up on everyone and everything. Arrow, Winter, Jax and I threw up our hands hoping to catch some of the powdery gold in our hands. Laughs and squeals came from all the younglings running around and playing in the pollen. The pollen continued to rain down for another few minutes before finally settling on the ground in a fine gold layer. The bees and butterflies flew to the branches of the oak trees to rest after their long journey. The entire forest became dead silent, you could have heard a pin drop.

All of a sudden flowers began to pop out of the ground already in full bloom. There were thousands of flowers that grew out. There were more tulips than any other flower, they seemed to be the popular choice this year. After watching most of the flowers bloom the bees finally took their leave. I watched them as they soared off into the evening sky. Winter and Jax headed home at about the same time. I waved them goodbye as they flew off hand in hand.

This left me and Arrow to chat and try to scout out where Jade got to. I had noticed that the butterflies had not yet taken their leave. Arrow and I decided to head over to a small group of them resting on the ground. I thanked them for supplying us with such beautiful flowers year after year. They acknowledge my appreciation with a nod and then took off into the night. We wouldn't see them again till next year. Arrow finally spotted Jade, passed out and propped up against the base of a tree. We awoke her with our laughter at how she looked. She glared at us and stuck her tongue out. The three of us flew off together into the evening, reminiscing over what we had just experienced.

Comments & reviews · 4
lostthoughts911 wrote a review Review · Sep 10, 2013

I know that this is a draft, so keep working on it. I'll tell you some things I noticed.

Time for review. Get out your books because I am horrible at this!
I have noticed that you have spelled some things wrong, words so small people might not notice. When you said that you were not a regular Tinkerbell fairy, you kinda are. You just don't change the seasons and talk to the animals (Not that I have seen yet). I have a feeling in my gut that your going to meet some humans later on. You hinted at it a bit. I nitpicked a little bit, not much. Otherwise it is fine. Just keep working on that draft. Maybe you'll have a perfect draft for you at the end! Keep writing!

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lostthoughts911
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lostthoughts911 commented Comment · Sep 10, 2013

Comment- I like it!

dragonfphoenix wrote a review Review · Sep 8, 2013

Much better on the description, and I like how you added in a few more characters (and showed a little more of Willow's personality). There were some minor punctuation things, such as leaving out commas or splicing them, and one "to try and do" (or something like that) instead of "to try to do". But hey whatever this is definitely an improvement! Keep it up, and we can knitpick over the final draft.

Thank you :)

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StealTheWorld
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StealTheWorld wrote a review Review · Sep 8, 2013

RyiaGreene,

This is a pretty unique idea. I like the fact that they're fairies, but what makes them any different from humans, aside from what they look like? They act and speak like humans. You could make up a few words for their vocabulary and give them other abilities to change that.

You should never ever have a character pause the story to describe themselves and their history. It's a big no-no. It would be a bit better if it was in 3rd person POV, but not much (and I know I'm being hypocritical with that part, but it's true).

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There are some commas that should be periods. Here's an example if you need it:

"We are best friends, he's older."

Ignore the utter hideousness of that sentence. The comma after 'friends' should be a period because they are two separate sentences.

"We're best friends. He's older than I am."

I edited the wording a bit so it doesn't sound as choppy (although it's still a terrible thing to write), but it DOES seem better.

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Another thing you should watch out for is detail. You don't want too much or too little, especially in the first chapter. You seem to describe everything, which is unnecessary.

This chapter didn't seem very helpful to the plot. Sure, it was informative, but it doesn't seem like it has anything important to the story itself. You should have a general idea about what you want the story to be about.

You can't say "Oh, this story is about fairies. Not like Tinkerbell, but a different kind of fairy." What mysteries are in it? What problems will occur? Who is the hero and who is the villain?

I do think this has a promising start, but there are many things you should look at before posting. You can get a beta reader/editor if you want, but you have to be open to their ideas, alright?

I hope you don't take this too harshly. It really does look alright, but you should aim for absolutely fantastic. Happy reading/writing!

-Dark

Thank you for your review :) And no I don't take it to harshly, I posted it hoping to get feedback and I did. Thank you :)



Is anyone else desperately waiting to see themselves in the quote gen?
— TheCursedCat