Time Swap- Prologue

by RowMahBoat

Published March 14, 2016

12+

In Time Swap

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Hello, my name is Connor.  Black hair, glasses, 18, just moved from parent's house, blah, blah, blah.  I'd tell you more but right now-

"Who even puts a grate in the middle of the road?!?" asks a young man, trying to reach for something under a sewer grate.

Oh yeah, that's me.  I just dropped my father's pendant, kind of a family heirloom, into the sewer, so you could imagine I was pretty mad then.  I had just gotten to this new town, away from my parents, away from the city, away from my old life, peaceful...until this happens.  Anyways, I'm about to give up when-

"Hey, mister, are you looking for something?" asks a voice.  I turn around and see a young girl looking at me.  She looks 6, and she has cute eyes, white sweater, black tights, sneakers, and her hair's...green? Who even dyes their hair? Especially at that age- Sorry, calm down, Connor, calm down...

"Who are you?" I ask, completely oblivious to her question.  Yup, I was that mad. 

"I'm Elis." says the girl with an eerie calmness, "Oh, and I think you dropped this."

She pulls out something from her sweater pocket, and my eyes pop out.  It's my father's pendant!

"Wha...Wh-Where did you find that?" I ask, my jaw still dropped.

"I saw you drop it on the ground." says the girl, confused.  I'm about to thank her when I remember.  Wait...Didn't I drop it in the sewer grate? How did she get it? I check the grate one more time before receiving the pendant from her.  Sure enough, the pendant was my father's...but I still didn't trust her.  Oh well, I'm too tired to care.  Plus, I should get to my new house before the day ends.  

"Thanks," I say, still suspicious, "I gotta go now." I awkwardly wave a hand and turn around and start walking towards my new house.  I check my map to see if I'm headed in the right direction.  Finally, I can begin my new lif-

I check behind me.  The green-haired girl is following me!  I ask her why, but she just stares at me...

"Do you want to come with me?" I ask.  Again, she just stares at me, but she offers a tiny smile  Good enough for me.  Besides, I do owe her for finding my pendant.  After some wrong turns and asking strangers, we finally reach my new house.

"Are you sure you want to come with me?" I ask, looking back at Elis, "Don't you have parents or something?"  The only reply I get is that quiet, disturbing stare.  I pull out my keys and open the door.  I brace myself...Huh, not bad.  The house is pretty small, but it does has an upstairs bedroom, and the kitchen doesn't look that bad either...not that I can cook.  I guide Elis upstairs and check my bedroom.  Single size bed.  Great...

"Alright, um..." I mumble awkwardly, "I don't really have a place for you to sleep, so, uh-"

"Oh, don't worry, mister!" she exclaims happily.  Geez, talk about a mood shift, "I won't be sleeping here."

I scratch my head in confusion.  

"Well, if you're not gonna sleep here, then why bother coming to my house?" I ask, still confused.  

"Just getting used to my surroundings." she says, looking around.  Weird...

"Well, um, I gotta do something, so I guess this is goodbye." I mumble.  She frowns as if she wanted to stay here longer, but starts heading for the door.  She leaves and I close the door.  Phew! What a day! I check my clock and it's almost 10:00.  That took longer than I thought.  Oh well, I take a quick shower in the bathroom, and drop into my bed.  A bit small, but nothing a little getting used to won't fix.  I wonder about what just happened in the last few hours.  Who was that girl? How did she find the pendant? Why did she have it? Why did she give it to me? Why am I in bed when I'm not even gonna sleep? I sigh and push all these thoughts out of my mind.  Hopefully, after a night of good sleep, all of this will be over, and I can finally begin my new life...

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
AkeliaTaske
Review
AkeliaTaske wrote a review Review · Mar 16, 2016

WOWWW....very creepy!! It was defiantly weird, the entire situation that he was in. And who dyes their hair green?! Anyway, it was nicely written and well described, it gave me a good feel of his surroundings. Speaking of surroundings, what did the girl mean by "my surroundings?" Oh well, it was weird. Nice job, keep up the good work! I can't wait to read more!

User avatar
Soziopath
Comment
Soziopath commented Comment · Mar 15, 2016

Hi RowMuhBoat,
I loved your story, as I got farther into the tail I began to feel more ,and more attached to the characters. I wonder if in the beginning you could have introduced the characters before writing any dialog. There were some punctuation errors that could have easily have been fixed; Along with grammar errors as well. I would have also enjoyed it if you would have put more detail ,and instead of telling the audience show them. Overall I loved your story, be sure to keep practicing, and never stop writing.

Thanks for the review! I do intend to continue this story, and thanks for telling me about the punctuation errors. I'll try to fix them next chapter (dun dun dun). Anyways, thanks for the help, I'll try to keep this boat afloat! :D

User avatar
Soziopath
Review
Soziopath wrote a review Review · Mar 15, 2016

Hi RowMuhBoat,
I loved your story, as I got farther into the tail I began to feel more ,and more attached to the characters. I wonder if in the beginning you could have introduced the characters before writing any dialog. There were some punctuation errors that could have easily have been fixed; Along with grammar errors as well. I would have also enjoyed it if you would have put more detail ,and instead of telling the audience show them. Overall I loved your story, be sure to keep practicing, and never stop writing.



Live your life how you want, but don't confuse drama with happiness.
— Ron, Parks & Rec