Young Writers Society

Interesting piece! The narrator seems to be stuck in uncertainty and trying to get out - the last question def leaves me thinking. I like the mixing of imperatives/instructions like "Go after it" into the rest of the sentences in this kind of fragmented way - it suits the dream-like atmosphere of this story and also suggests it might be a stream-of-consciousness. I also like the concrete image of "silky smooth"-ness and the "steps in the clouds" that are repeated towards the end. I thought that helped me make sense of what was going on.

Keep writing!

Oh, hello there. This is Ina a.k.a loveissourgrapes and I am here to give your short story a little review/comment. Okay, let's go.

First impressions. I thought this story was kind of about death. But it was just about dreams. It may be short to me but it was very fun to read. It feels like a story to buy time thinking about it. I have read this once it was posted, it's just that I didn't find the perfect time to review/comment about this.

I love the way you describe what dreams are like and how your imagination plays on like what if when we dream, we go to a different world or universe. I have thought of this during the times where I stare at the ceiling, thinking about many times in the middle of the night. This feels like it was written when your midnight thoughts hit or is that just me? The questions were very accurate. Good job on that one and the grammar/spelling is good too.

Overall, I thought of a lot of things while reading this. Keep on writing! For your information, I have been writing whatever it in the related items of these stories. I would love to see more. Have a good day/night everyone!

-Cleo Carson speaking

Initial Thoughts:
Nice! Dreams and what happens when we wake up seemed to be the topic of this story. The quote "That could happen to anyone dreaming in their own world." also kinda scares me. Like, what if our world was all a dream and we woke up to a different world?

Spelling and Grammar:
I couldn't find any spelling or grammar errors, so good on you!

Bye for now!
-Corp. C. Carson

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a pretty solid little piece. For something so small, it was very punchy and I think it did its job incredibly well in terms of getting across the little almost thought experiment that it happens to be.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Silky smooth are the steps in the clouds, feet that walk towards the light. They want to believe that you can do more than you think. Maybe this life isn't worth moving on after all.

"Why not? Why?"

Understanding is harder than you think. We want to go further, we have to go further. “Go to the top.” they say. “Am I alone? Doesn't anyone want to understand?”

Sometimes they say, "Stand strong alone." or “Stand strong together.” What is it exactly? We can have allies, we can share. It’s all good. But will they understand us? Will there be a place for us? The world can't always be how we want it to be. But in the clouds we don’t worry about that. Because that was in their world, now it’s us in our own world. Step into the clouds, dance with the wind to that one song.

“Everything will be fine.” It's not always easy to believe, but sometimes it helps. We feel love and happiness when we know that we can do it. When the steps become a little easier, when the wind becomes a song. Go after it. A smile appears on our face. Leave all your worries behind and go back to that time. The time when we didn't know what was waiting for us, what would want to break us down. With our silky soft clothes at that beautiful moment. The truth, the knowledge, the love and the joy. And then we understood. Not everyone will understand, but we will. We know what we know and only we know what we think. All those questions floating in the air, we will be able to answer ourselves. For the steps in the clouds are ours. Moments that will wipe all the sorrows of our face. Incredible… But then for the moment when everything becomes blurry, our world starts to fade, the song sings it’s last note and everything disappears. That feeling leaves a speck in our mind. That could happen to anyone dreaming in their own world.

But when we wake up… Is everything still the same?

I have felt like I needed to write down ideas that come across my mind in a spark. In dreams, there is a world of freedom and possibility. Real life is less romantic, but one can still have a sense of positivity while being realistic. I had enjoyed this poem. I liked the message of this. One can always and forever dream. Dreams fuel our fire of passion.

I wish you a lovely day/night.

Hiya! Here's my review:

Overall: Your use of imagery and sensory language really brings the story to life and makes it easy to relate to the character's struggles. Your work is interesting and contemplating as it really hooks the reader.

Silky smooth are the steps in the clouds, feet that walk towards the light. They want to believe that you can do more than you think. Maybe this life isn't worth moving on after all.

"Why not? Why?"

Understanding is harder than you think. We want to go further, we have to go further. “Go to the top.” they say. “Am I alone? Doesn't anyone want to understand?”

Sometimes they say, "Stand strong alone." or “Stand strong together.” What is it exactly? We can have allies, we can share. It’s all good. But will they understand us? Will there be a place for us? The world can't always be how we want it to be. But in the clouds we don’t worry about that. Because that was in their world, now it’s us in our own world. Step into the clouds, dance with the wind to that one song.

“Everything will be fine.” It's not always easy to believe, but sometimes it helps. We feel love and happiness when we know that we can do it. When the steps become a little easier, when the wind becomes a song. Go after it. A smile appears on our face. Leave all your worries behind and go back to that time. The time when we didn't know what was waiting for us, what would want to break us down. With our silky soft clothes at that beautiful moment. The truth, the knowledge, the love and the joy. And then we understood. Not everyone will understand, but we will. We know what we know and only we know what we think. All those questions floating in the air, we will be able to answer ourselves. For the steps in the clouds are ours. Moments that will wipe all the sorrows of our face. Incredible… But then for the moment when everything becomes blurry, our world starts to fade, the song sings it’s last note and everything disappears. That feeling leaves a speck in our mind. That could happen to anyone dreaming in their own world.

But when we wake up… Is everything still the same?